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Confusing situation after she cancels 3rd date
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Author:  Rexus [ Sat Jul 30, 2011 6:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Confusing situation after she cancels 3rd date
Ok, number closed girl on train home from work a while back, been on 2 dates. First date was ok, second date went well. Third date was set up for last Saturday but she cancels on the Friday (see flaked-on-the-3rd-date-vt96821.html). After my initial reply to her cancelling I don’t text her and wait for her to initiate contact. Even though she never usually initiates contact she did text me on the Tuesday asking how I was. She is far more talkative than usual in her texts and for pretty much the first time we in engage in some banter. After the initial few texts the conversations goes as follows:

HB: Wednesday 08.54 Which side do u think is hidden? Do you think there’s more to me than I give away?
Me: 11.26 I think there’s a more mischievous side to u :) Is there more to u than u give away, are u on ur best behaviour with me ;)
HB: 11.53 I’m never on my best behaviour :)
Me: 12.53 Oh really….? So what naughty things have u been up to ;)
HB: 13.06 That would be telling ;)
Me: 14.02 Hmmm what’s the naughtiest thing u’ve ever done, tell me a secret ;)
HB: 14.03 You tell me first
Me: 14.04 Ladies first….
HB: 14.05 Stolen carling pumps from student union, in front of bar staff and placed them as souvenirs in our student house :)
Me: 14.11 That’s only a 5 on a scale of 1-10 of naughtiness lol, thought u were a naughty girl! I once copied formulas on to my calculator case during an exam at uni :)
HB: 16.35 That’s not naughty
Me: 18.03 I’ve been naughtier ;) So how are u going to make it up to me for cancelling last week :)
HB: 22.02 Tell me how naughty you’ve been?
Me: 22.38 Well how naughty would u have liked me to be ;)
Next day
HB: 07.40 I don’t know the naughtiest?
Me: 08.12 That would be too explicit as ur a good Indian girl :) (In an earlier text she had used the phrase that she is a good Indian girl) (I’m white btw)
HB: 12.13 Tell me I’m all ears :)
Me: All I can say is it may involve a girl ;) So ur a naughty Indian girl tut tut

This leaves me with 3 main questions:

What should I do now? Wait for her to re-initiate contact or contact her myself? If contact is resumed, ask her out for this third date or wait for her to do it?

Before this latest texting exchange she always used to be fairly un-talkative in texts so this was unusual. Was she testing me? Did she want the conversation to go sexual?

How should I have escalated the conversation better to go sexual? Please feel free to critique any of my responses and/or suggest something better?
Author:  Don Draper [ Sat Jul 30, 2011 6:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, I'm mostly Indian myself. So, I can probably help you with Indian girl mindsets.

Easy to get them hooked, yes sir. But, closing them can be hard if you're not going about seduction in the right way.

Now, she's asked you "how naughty" a total of 4-5 times, and you've evaded that every single time. She will think that you were just all talk, no substance. And Indian or not, no girl likes an empty shell without substance inside.

Either tell her a naughty story that will make her blush till next week or ... there is no OR, just tell her something that would be worth all this anticipation.

And also, golden rule : If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation.

If you're uncomfortable or unable to think of anything at any point in any conversation, just divert it. Change it to something in your comfort zone. Switching topics is the hallmark of successful people.

Good luck with this.
Author:  Rexus [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Well, I'm mostly Indian myself. So, I can probably help you with Indian girl mindsets.

Easy to get them hooked, yes sir. But, closing them can be hard if you're not going about seduction in the right way.

Now, she's asked you "how naughty" a total of 4-5 times, and you've evaded that every single time. She will think that you were just all talk, no substance. And Indian or not, no girl likes an empty shell without substance inside.

Either tell her a naughty story that will make her blush till next week or ... there is no OR, just tell her something that would be worth all this anticipation.

And also, golden rule : If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation.

If you're uncomfortable or unable to think of anything at any point in any conversation, just divert it. Change it to something in your comfort zone. Switching topics is the hallmark of successful people.

Good luck with this.
Thanks for your reply. Could I be right in assuming that the Indian mindset of a 30 year girl (she’s 30) would be that of looking for something long term by the way lol?

To be fair, I wasn’t totally evading her when she was asking “how naughty” but as she wasn’t turning it into anything sexual I was cautious (perhaps too cautious!). In my last 2 texts I was alluding to sexual content but then she didn’t reply to my last text.....

Any ideas on what to have said/say now to have got her interested?
Author:  Don Draper [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:06 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, yes. A 30 year old Indian woman would be facing all kinds of parental pressure to "find a good boy and settle down". She will be screening every guy for long term prospects.

Now, she might be a little shy. You need to slowly escalate the sexual inneundos according to her comfort level. Talk about normal stuff and then lead into sexual topics. That should be fine.
Author:  Rexus [ Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Well, yes. A 30 year old Indian woman would be facing all kinds of parental pressure to "find a good boy and settle down". She will be screening every guy for long term prospects.
Ah, that’s what I thought. I find it surprising though as I’m white so unless she has fairly liberal parents lol, I wouldn’t have thought her parents would approve of me as a long term prospect. Personally, I’m not looking for anything long term as I’m looking to move to the big city (London) to progress my career, but if it happens, it happens…
Quote:
Now, she might be a little shy. You need to slowly escalate the sexual inneundos according to her comfort level. Talk about normal stuff and then lead into sexual topics. That should be fine.
Great advice thanks. I started the texting again and she has been very responsive in texting back. There’s been a bit of flirting and normal conversational stuff too this time, and we have agreed a 3rd date!
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