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girl that usually only wants to hang out on her terms?
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Author:  TheZaz [ Fri Jul 29, 2011 3:00 pm ]
Post subject:  girl that usually only wants to hang out on her terms?
have been back and forth with this HB9 for over a year.. F closed a few weeks ago, first started out she wanted to hang out all the time.. since then its been hot and cold.. :roll:

have dated plenty of other girls in the meantime.. but this girl is a challenge.. which i like :P

we text each other all the time, talk alot, prob been on 10-12 dates... but every time i do the asking.. its a damn chore.. back and forth for hours til she either commits or just stays in? for example.. yest i asked her out for pizza and drinks today..

her text reply: lol..
me: ? ok i was asking..
her: maybe.. i just got some pizza a few days ago
her: but i DO love pizza!

after that subject changed and i kind of acted disinterested...its usually like this.. weve been out once since the F close.. HER idea..
how do i over come this hurdle ? my plan today is not even bother to text her and ask again.. if she texts me, i will say something like: soo are we on for tonite or should i make plans with someone else?

good? bad? this is really the only hurdle i have with this girl.. frustrating!!
Author:  charblad [ Fri Jul 29, 2011 3:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dont post her reply, post how you asked
Author:  TheZaz [ Fri Jul 29, 2011 3:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
ok.. exact convo

me: youve had a rough week...
her: i know
me: ill take u out tomo for pizza and drinks
me: that will cheer ya up
her: lol
me: ? ok.. i was asking u
her:maybe.. i got two large pizzas last nite lol
her:but i DO love pizza

then the subject changed to her talking about needing to wake up and go for her run... ?
she isnt some 19 yo bubble head.. 25 and when she does want to go out, she has no prob. asking me to do something. not into games or game playing... just when i ask her out its alwasy a struggle.
Author:  charblad [ Fri Jul 29, 2011 3:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
ok how you asked can use a lot of work, but the biggest blunder was
me: ? ok.. i was asking u
you dont ASK to GIVE someone free food and drinks (think about it that way) if your asking make it known she's payin for her share of food. Anyways a better setting for the question would be "im havin a small pizza party at my place (or the pizza place) on Wednesday at 1:00, bring your own drinks"
No question marks, and yet im sure she'll tell you if she's goin or not
"hope you like Mt. Dew!"
or
"I have to go to my dads house that day..."
if she says the first one - shut up, and remind her the day before (girls will forget their own names i swear...)
if she says the second one say "Ok, ill send you pics of how awesome it is and you'll come next time"
then shut up again (unless she says something REALLY important, but they usually dont)
Author:  TheZaz [ Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
umm ok.. but asking her to a pizza party isnt really a date. ?

i have known this girl for a year and a half.. and we have gone out on id say at least 8 definite one on one dates, and hung out with mutual friends at least as many times.

i have an established rapprt with this girl..and have F closed.. not trying to ask her out on a first or second date. when we do go out for something more than a few bucks expense.. she pays for her half. or at least contributes.

my problem is.. 7 out of 10 times i ask her out.. its never a definite answer, always beats around the bush...just trying get some insight on a new approach, or, when she does start being difficult, the best way to handle it.. just blow her off, give her an ultimatum..?
Author:  charblad [ Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
umm ok.. but asking her to a pizza party isnt really a date.
BAM YOU GOT IT!!!!
ITS NOT A DATE!
The word "date" scares women so easily.
If I take a girl to a fancy suit-only restaurant for the night, thats what it is, im not saying "lets go on a date, maybe i can Kclose you!" I'm going "hey dinner at La Restaurante, be there". Which would you go to, a shooting range or a place with ear piercing loud noises? its the same thing, word it better.
Ultimatum is a big word to use, just let her know shes not getting in your way, "pizza party at my house", not "ill have a pizza party if you want, i mean if your free, if you find the time", wording is KEY, dont put pressure on her to have a event, you are already having fun and IF SHES NICE she can come
Author:  TheZaz [ Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
dude.. i appreciate you trying.. but do you not read?

i see what your saying at the end.. but she has asked me on "dates" a few times, and i ask her out alot.. i see what your saying about the wording.. but i have a feeling yoru not reading what im saying.. i have F closed this girl. i have known her for almost TWO years. we have gone out SEVERAL times.

i talk to and text her ALL the time. but she gets weird ONLY when i ask her out, it can be as casual as getting a snowball, just goin for a ride in my jeep, just sayin hey.. what u doin tomorrow, ill tell ya what, ur hangin out with me!

ive tried all kinds of approaches, but lately its always, maybe, ive gotta go on my run, ill let ya know later, etc. etc. then out of knowhere shell just hit me up and say lets hang out?
Author:  charblad [ Fri Jul 29, 2011 5:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
you are already having fun and IF SHES NICE she can come
If she says no, or is confusing, do something fun anyways and be the guy she wants to be with. Show her she has no power over the fun in your life. If you ask her to get a snowflake and she says no, sucks for her, your gunna have the time of your life! If she says maybe, ill let u know later ect. Just freeze her out until after you do it (shes not gunna do it is what thats girl talk for), and tell her what she missed out on (dont do like 5 txts on it, do like 1 or 2 about the great time and move on, be subtle). If she doesnt want to party everyday thats kinda normal...
Remember, your having fun, and even though she might get in the way of that fun, your inviting her because your that awesome. DONT BE AFRAID TO WALK AWAY
Author:  Don Draper [ Fri Jul 29, 2011 6:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
For the love of God,man. Start acting like a MAN already.

"You've had a bad week"

"I know"

"Get ready. I'll pick you up at so-and-so time."

Take the initiative. Women love men who take the reins of the relationship in their own hands.

If you seek approval from her all the time, she's going to count you among the cowards.

Don't want that now, do we?
Author:  TheFreshPrince [ Fri Jul 29, 2011 6:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Freeze out for a while. Make HER suggest a date. In the mean time, go have fun with girls who actually want to go out with you and have an awesome time. Her loss. :wink:
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