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21 year old Virgin Never had a Kiss?
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Author:  saugnoob [ Fri Jul 22, 2011 5:33 am ]
Post subject:  21 year old Virgin Never had a Kiss?
:oops: 21 years old, no gf no dates no kiss ever. Its not that i lack in looks or personality, but i messed up with one girl in high school in my freshman year, after that i was so scared i didnt bother with any girl in high school, and any that showed interest thru flirting etc, i didnt pursue them back because i was scared of what people thought, and basically all of my friends in my social circle also never had a gf in high school. Anyway, i completely messed up, first year went horribly. Now i am 21, and i feel i am so inexperience and so unwanted by women that even if i do impess one, they get so shocked i never had a gf they might think something is wrong with me. I told one girl i never had a girlfriend when she asked and she gave me a puzzled look, like why?

Am i in trouble because i have a mountain to climb because Girls expect more from a guy at this stage like 19- 20 yr olds....where a guy knows how to kiss, have sex, treat them on dates?
I just feel that a girl at that age wont be willing to give me a chance, especially if she finds out early on about my history.

I feel so pathetic, like a baby i wish i could fix my mistakes and ignored my hang ups. Right now i am just trying to get social circle of girls where i can meet a nice girl thats generally innocent, and will accept my pathetic loserness ugh, and give me a chance.
Author:  mpuapua [ Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:04 am ]
Post subject: 
u are only in trouble if you don't start dressing up, going out (not to bars or night clubs) and flirting with women. smiling and saying how are you to a woman and leaving it at that and letting her continue the conversation if she wants.

i avoided kissing on dates with 3-4 women. i just kissed and breathed and licked all around their neck and it made them take a deep breath and close their eyes. guess women get turned on stronger than we do. i told all of them that i am not ready to kiss them yet. in my head i was thinking i don't wanna risk getting an std kissing a stranger, risk embarassment, etc. one woman said that kissing her neck is alot more sensual than kissing her on the mouth but she said if i want to touch her breasts or her to touch my junk, we have to go through the steps that is kissing on the lips first. another woman was totally ok with that and said "i understand. everyone has their rules like no kissing until the third date.. why won't sleep with me?" she wanted us to have sex and i did not wanna have any risk with stds. so groping and touching, but no body fluid exchange. another girl tried to kiss me and at that point i was not comfortable kissing anyone on the cheeck even. i kind of turned away and gave her a hug. i think she might have felt rejected? i dunno. does not matter. because there is an unlimited supply of first dates with new women if you mess up with one. yesterday i had my first kiss with a younger girl who is kind of a slut, but i thought whatever, i might get mono from her, but kissing wont give any serious stds. i kissed her neck and she liked it but wanted me to kiss her mouth. our lips brushed and we kissed. she told me to keep my mouth closed and keep my chin up and my head straight. she said "what you've never kissed before?" i just said "i am shy" i also said "teach me. i wanna learn." we kissed for a while. can't say i liked it too much, but i'd want to kiss more. prob not with this girl cuz i prob wont ever see her again. and with girls that you keep seeing, just as long as you don't look down on yourself for being inexperienced, its fine. dont be self deprecating or defensive. just say i am inexperienced can you teach me how to kiss. that is after your lips have brushed. but you will go through many first dates until you get comfortable with hugs, kissing on the cheek, being around women, etc. i am using myself as an example.

just dress up in different styles, go out (not to bars or night clubs, they suck for meeting women cuz you get rejected so much), and smile and say how are you to women. go to places where you can casually talk to women like dance lessons or the church or anything hobby related or any events your city organizes or group sports, meetups.

also you are thinking like a depressed person is thinking. you need to see a therapist and learn to think more positively. everything you said is just your imagination. once you kick the PUA stuff to the curb and start going out and flirting with women, you will see reality is different from what you think. women want to be loved. they dont care how many girls you had or what you can do. they wanna if you are OK with yourself or if you are putting yourself down. they are OK with a guy being inexpereinced, but putting yourself down is a big problem for you and a hard one for her to deal with. you need to learn to think more positively. therapist is one option. another is cognitive behavioral therapy and positive psychology. i have a similar problem too. i get wrapped up in my feelings and stuck in my head and ignore the girl. but if you practice, you will get better.
Author:  saugnoob [ Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
u are only in trouble if you don't start dressing up, going out (not to bars or night clubs) and flirting with women. smiling and saying how are you to a woman and leaving it at that and letting her continue the conversation if she wants.

i avoided kissing on dates with 3-4 women. i just kissed and breathed and licked all around their neck and it made them take a deep breath and close their eyes. guess women get turned on stronger than we do. i told all of them that i am not ready to kiss them yet. in my head i was thinking i don't wanna risk getting an std kissing a stranger, risk embarassment, etc. one woman said that kissing her neck is alot more sensual than kissing her on the mouth but she said if i want to touch her breasts or her to touch my junk, we have to go through the steps that is kissing on the lips first. another woman was totally ok with that and said "i understand. everyone has their rules like no kissing until the third date.. why won't sleep with me?" she wanted us to have sex and i did not wanna have any risk with stds. so groping and touching, but no body fluid exchange. another girl tried to kiss me and at that point i was not comfortable kissing anyone on the cheeck even. i kind of turned away and gave her a hug. i think she might have felt rejected? i dunno. does not matter. because there is an unlimited supply of first dates with new women if you mess up with one. yesterday i had my first kiss with a younger girl who is kind of a slut, but i thought whatever, i might get mono from her, but kissing wont give any serious stds. i kissed her neck and she liked it but wanted me to kiss her mouth. our lips brushed and we kissed. she told me to keep my mouth closed and keep my chin up and my head straight. she said "what you've never kissed before?" i just said "i am shy" i also said "teach me. i wanna learn." we kissed for a while. can't say i liked it too much, but i'd want to kiss more. prob not with this girl cuz i prob wont ever see her again. and with girls that you keep seeing, just as long as you don't look down on yourself for being inexperienced, its fine. dont be self deprecating or defensive. just say i am inexperienced can you teach me how to kiss. that is after your lips have brushed. but you will go through many first dates until you get comfortable with hugs, kissing on the cheek, being around women, etc. i am using myself as an example.

just dress up in different styles, go out (not to bars or night clubs, they suck for meeting women cuz you get rejected so much), and smile and say how are you to women. go to places where you can casually talk to women like dance lessons or the church or anything hobby related or any events your city organizes or group sports, meetups.

also you are thinking like a depressed person is thinking. you need to see a therapist and learn to think more positively. everything you said is just your imagination. once you kick the PUA stuff to the curb and start going out and flirting with women, you will see reality is different from what you think. women want to be loved. they dont care how many girls you had or what you can do. they wanna if you are OK with yourself or if you are putting yourself down. they are OK with a guy being inexpereinced, but putting yourself down is a big problem for you and a hard one for her to deal with. you need to learn to think more positively. therapist is one option. another is cognitive behavioral therapy and positive psychology. i have a similar problem too. i get wrapped up in my feelings and stuck in my head and ignore the girl. but if you practice, you will get better.
thanks man, yeah i dont act depressed around them, and i know how to make a girl laugh etc, get on their good side. But i've only ever asked out 2 girls bluntly in total, a third one didnt get i am asking her out :P. But problem is, almost every decent girl has a boyfriend, and i am having a hard time even finding a first date. I also feel they might think i am a loser, because of the girls puzzled look, even though she is now a good friend(she had a boyfriend like every other one). But just that a guy my age, never kissed a girl, never had any sexual physical contact, every pretty girl is always taken, and i just never seem to be that guy who takes them. Ugh so many problems. On top of that i am very skinny, i had gained weight once*when i asked those girls out*, then i lost it and didn't approach women because i was depressed and insecure about my weight, now i am trying to gain my muscle back because it gave me a lot of confidence.
Author:  pumpington [ Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:59 am ]
Post subject: 
watch this,
http://www.youtube.com/user/Sashathepua ... xf1zcM15ZY


then watch this,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddjZf7Nqbo0


go to a highly populated area during the day, bring a piece of paper with you, and tally how many girls you approach, set a goal for yourself like maybe 20-100 approaches a day, set your goal and meet it, don't leave the area until you have hit your pre-chosen goal, depending on what your ego can spare to go through (keep in mind direct game comes with alot of rejections but the rewards outweigh the risks)

do this at least 2 days a week, and i guarentee if at least 20 approaches are done, 2 days a week you will at least have 1 date within 2weeks, and if you go more then 2 days and do more then 20 approaches, you will lose your virginity.... fast, just try to have fun, ammuse yourself, and say what ever comes to your mind, be genuine, the more you do this, the less you give a fuck about doing it, as for telling girls your a virgin that is up to you, i usually never tell a girl my score, i just say sweetheart, you know it doesn't matter to me how many guys you have been with, please don't ask me how many girls i have been with, all that matters is we share a common interest in eachother
Author:  saugnoob [ Fri Jul 22, 2011 8:31 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

go to a highly populated area during the day, bring a piece of paper with you, and tally how many girls you approach, set a goal for yourself like maybe 20-100 approaches a day, set your goal and meet it, don't leave the area until you have hit your pre-chosen goal, depending on what your ego can spare to go through (keep in mind direct game comes with alot of rejections but the rewards outweigh the risks)

do this at least 2 days a week, and i guarentee if at least 20 approaches are done, 2 days a week you will at least have 1 date within 2weeks, and if you go more then 2 days and do more then 20 approaches, you will lose your virginity.... fast, just try to have fun, ammuse yourself, and say what ever comes to your mind, be genuine, the more you do this, the less you give a fuck about doing it, as for telling girls your a virgin that is up to you, i usually never tell a girl my score, i just say sweetheart, you know it doesn't matter to me how many guys you have been with, please don't ask me how many girls i have been with, all that matters is we share a common interest in eachother
k right now i am trying to gain my weight back because i lost 15 lbs of muscle right down to the bone and ALL my confidence, i'll try to meet some girls during the summer, will try out what u said. Also, i will start second year, and i have no strong social circle especially with girls, just a few guy friends, some girls that are acquaintances, 1 girl that had bf...looked puzzled, her friends are all taken already. So basically i gotta start over 2nd year, need advice with that, because ppl have social circles established already.
Author:  AFCHavok [ Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:29 am ]
Post subject: 
I am not going to vote in your poll...Here is the thing...If I said Yes they do, you would take that, and get more down on yourself, but, you would gain nothing by me saying no. Of course they do, ask one, they will say that worries them...I mean, its not the norm, some chicks will be mature enough to understand your troubles, some wont...So, don't bring it up, then its a non issue...As far as she can guess, you might have fucked 1000 chicks and your dick is about to rot off...She will only think your AFC if you let her think that. Your body language and tonality will do that far before your get a single word out, though...

21 is young, or I should say normal. If you spend much time on here, you see guys that are 25-27 fairly frequently, so take a deep breath, no worries! I am older than you, been at the game a full year, and although I have embellished in my posts here every once and a while, I still have my V card. I am proof you need to go out in to the field and do it, not just read books! Solid advice above, go make at least 20 approaches a week. I've made 0, ever...

So, don't get down on yourself!
Author:  pumpington [ Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:

go to a highly populated area during the day, bring a piece of paper with you, and tally how many girls you approach, set a goal for yourself like maybe 20-100 approaches a day, set your goal and meet it, don't leave the area until you have hit your pre-chosen goal, depending on what your ego can spare to go through (keep in mind direct game comes with alot of rejections but the rewards outweigh the risks)

do this at least 2 days a week, and i guarentee if at least 20 approaches are done, 2 days a week you will at least have 1 date within 2weeks, and if you go more then 2 days and do more then 20 approaches, you will lose your virginity.... fast, just try to have fun, ammuse yourself, and say what ever comes to your mind, be genuine, the more you do this, the less you give a fuck about doing it, as for telling girls your a virgin that is up to you, i usually never tell a girl my score, i just say sweetheart, you know it doesn't matter to me how many guys you have been with, please don't ask me how many girls i have been with, all that matters is we share a common interest in eachother
k right now i am trying to gain my weight back because i lost 15 lbs of muscle right down to the bone and ALL my confidence, i'll try to meet some girls during the summer, will try out what u said. Also, i will start second year, and i have no strong social circle especially with girls, just a few guy friends, some girls that are acquaintances, 1 girl that had bf...looked puzzled, her friends are all taken already. So basically i gotta start over 2nd year, need advice with that, because ppl have social circles established already.
FORGET THAT SHIT, GO OUT NOW, GO OUT TOMMOROW, START COLD APPROACHING, GIRLS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR STATUS IS WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN COLD APPROACHED, GO DIRECT, GET LAID, STOP BEING A PUSS, YOU BEING SKINNY MEANS NOTHING,
Author:  Kupid [ Fri Jul 22, 2011 12:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Neil Patrick Harris lost his virginity at 26, nothing embarrassing about that, from my point of view you have 2 opitions with girls now:

- You can fake your personality into a 'confident' guy (which imo, won't gonna work to your advantage longterm, well it least didn't for me, but who knows)
- You tell girls what really happened to you, what you have been through, the whole story from freshman year till today, they'll understand, if there is one thing that quality women apreciate is honesty.

Besides that happened to you in freshman year, it's like what 6 years from that, let go of that, that was the time that you were a teenager, we all did mistakes in that time, now you're a grown up man.

TIME TO STEP UP ;)
Author:  TheFreshPrince [ Fri Jul 22, 2011 7:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just don't bring it up. Above all, be yourself, but you shouldn't have to explain yourself to a woman. People sometimes think you should "have confidence", and that means being an extreme extrovert and comfortable with ANY situation. That may be the case, but not necessarily. Be confident by knowing what you want when you're with a girl, and knowing that that's what you're going to get. No more, no less. You don't owe a girl an sort of explanation for what you want to do or don't want to do.

Good luck man on getting whatever it is you want! :wink:
Author:  mpuapua [ Sat Jul 23, 2011 6:56 am ]
Post subject: 
you have not listened to anything i said bro. you just wanna keep moping. start to think differently. why do you care what women think anyway? and you think ALL women are gonna think and act the same? you think women REALLY care about anything about you? no they prob dont. YOU really care about being embarassed, but they care about themselves and dont give you that much thought. you think their world revolves around you. im frustrated you dont investigate good advice. but people usually are resistant to changing what they complain about.
Author:  Fvckitimout [ Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Confidence comes from experience.

The reason why the most confident guys dont get shaken even when everyone is against them is because they know what they did, saw, touched, felt, and achieved.

The reason why you need to go out and start exploring the social world is because it is the only way to get experience.

The more you wait, the more you lag behind in experiences. In this world, people who act dominate the people who think and do nothing.

Watch the movie "WANTED" and wait for the very last words they tell you. And i guarantee you, you will know what to do.
Author:  Kupid [ Sat Jul 23, 2011 2:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Watch the movie "WANTED" and wait for the very last words they tell you. And i guarantee you, you will know what to do.
"What the fuck have you done lately." :D
Author:  saugnoob [ Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Watch the movie "WANTED" and wait for the very last words they tell you. And i guarantee you, you will know what to do.
"What the fuck have you done lately." :D
K, well i've never approached girls randomly in public, but there was a festival nearby, after a few hours of loathing around with a "wingman" who was more scared than me despite being 26, and having 3 girlsfriends already. I tried to start a convo with 2, but they werent feeling it, and my friend didnt even look at them haha. But mentally i felt way more relaxed, and so was my friend so good news i guess, i gotta start somewhere. Oh it was a muslim fest with muslim chicks so yeah not the easiest place to talk to girls(understatement).
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
K, well i've never approached girls randomly in public, but there was a festival nearby, after a few hours of loathing around with a "wingman" who was more scared than me despite being 26, and having 3 girlsfriends already. I tried to start a convo with 2, but they werent feeling it, and my friend didnt even look at them haha. But mentally i felt way more relaxed, and so was my friend so good news i guess, i gotta start somewhere. Oh it was a muslim fest with muslim chicks so yeah not the easiest place to talk to girls(understatement).
Cool! Try again!You never know what girls are looking to meet guys, and many aren't, so talk to all of them!

And being relaxed is bad. Relaxed is comfort-zone talk. You're going to feel very very nervous, but savor that adrenaline rush and push through it. Focus on NOW, not what's going on in your head. Get your wing on the same page. Sit that guy down and say that you two are going to be serious about this, and push yourselves until you can go out anywhere and get numbers.
Author:  saugnoob [ Mon Jul 25, 2011 5:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
K, well i've never approached girls randomly in public, but there was a festival nearby, after a few hours of loathing around with a "wingman" who was more scared than me despite being 26, and having 3 girlsfriends already. I tried to start a convo with 2, but they werent feeling it, and my friend didnt even look at them haha. But mentally i felt way more relaxed, and so was my friend so good news i guess, i gotta start somewhere. Oh it was a muslim fest with muslim chicks so yeah not the easiest place to talk to girls(understatement).
Cool! Try again!You never know what girls are looking to meet guys, and many aren't, so talk to all of them!

And being relaxed is bad. Relaxed is comfort-zone talk. You're going to feel very very nervous, but savor that adrenaline rush and push through it. Focus on NOW, not what's going on in your head. Get your wing on the same page. Sit that guy down and say that you two are going to be serious about this, and push yourselves until you can go out anywhere and get numbers.
yeah these girls were taking pictures behind us sitting on stairs in a public square at the festival. So i tried to comment on the camera by asking them if it was for the school yearbook, they told me they were in uni(so no yearbook), and i told them i got to another university, but they werent being inquisitive more like letting us off, my friend wasnt turning around cuz he was still scared! lol, so i ask them how bout we take a picture together and they are like no we dont take pictures(period). Then i gave up and they later walked away. But my friend gave me props for that haha. But now it felt more possible unlike before where it seemed impossible.
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