You managed to spark her interest and you're complaining?
You honestly told her how you felt, but weren't needy about it and were unavailable, and this is your way out of the friend zone.
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| Author: | DeeDubStyle [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 8:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | Whats goin on here? |
Long story short, I told one of my close girl friends that I had feelings for her that were interfering with my friendship with her. I also said that I wanted no contact with her for a while. She basically just said OK. I saw her at a mutual friends birthday party, and she was pretty flirty, and smiling a lot, and going out of her way to talk to me, I wanna say almost more than before. I ended up leaving early, coincidentally, as the guy she is currently talking to, rolled up. She texted me the next day asking if she offended me in some way, causing me to leave early, and that she is sorry if she did. I did not respond, then she texted me a few days later, it just said my name with a "?" Then a few hours after that, she said, "I know youre getting my texts, but I dont know why you dont answer." Now a week later, she texted me tonight about a concert coming up that we both like, and asked if I wanted to go. Whats the deal, I was honest with her and told her my plan of no communication, yet she keeps hitting me up, and I just don't answer. Call me AFC, but I did what felt best for me and her both. Any Ideas? |
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| Author: | NaturesFoulChild [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 11:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
You managed to spark her interest and you're complaining? You honestly told her how you felt, but weren't needy about it and were unavailable, and this is your way out of the friend zone. |
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| Author: | pumpington [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 11:32 am ] |
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go for it, she seems into you |
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| Author: | DeeDubStyle [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 6:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Would it be a bad idea to go to the concert, even though I told her I wanted no contact for a while? I replied to her text saying "Sounds fun, but have you forgotten what I said?" She said, "I remember what you said, but I dont think its fair cause I want to hangout with you, can we just go to this concert?" I havent replied. Anyone? |
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| Author: | Herne [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 7:24 pm ] |
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lol--you have successfully LJBFed HER [ or maybe in this case it would be more accurate to say freezeout successful]--and they dont like that--its a sure way to make them chase you---as regards the concert, i honestly dont know what u should do,someone else is gonna have to help u there |
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| Author: | NonStopReaper [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 8:29 pm ] |
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freeze her out, this is gonna turn out worst for you. If you already told her your feelings and she knows it but still tries to hang with you. Obviously she is string you on, knowing that she can get you to do what she wants and when you don't reply or msg her back, it bothers her slightly, why? that's how women are. If she seeing another guy she wont care. If what you do, only if it benefits her. My suggestion find another girl or wait it out. I wouldn't Say you LJBF zoned her cause... you are the one that has feelings for her not the other way around but good move on your part. Don't go to the concert. I mean do want to go to the concert for the Band? or do you want to go because of her? ask yourself that. If its the first answer.. forget it.. you are just gonna fall prey into her game. If you decided to go.. bring another girls with you. You can test out things here 1) How she feels about you if you bring another girl you can test out if she gets jealous ( she will, all girls do) but what degree of jealous? she might be bothered at first but if she OK with it then you know she doesn't have that kinda feelings for you and that's a sign to either move on or just keep it as a friendly relationship which i doubt will happen cause you have feelings for her. |
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| Author: | DeeDubStyle [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:18 pm ] |
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The only things I do for her, are things I would do for any other friend. I would like to go for the band them self, which is why she invited me. I might have even showed them to her. I would bring another girl but it's in a couple days, and she is a girl that's in my social group, so we know a lot of the same people. If I brought another girl, she would probably be a bitch to her, I already know this. Whenever I mention another girl, she says why they are bad for me. If I mention a mutual friend, she doesn't talk badly about them, but she says why it wouldn't work. I would like to continue being friends with her, which is why I am taking time apart from her. I even threw myself under the bus, told her how I felt, and how I was reacting as a result. It would be one thing if I shut her out without an explanation, I would expect her to hit me up a lot and be curious why the sudden shutout. But I made it clear that we will not be speaking at all for a while, and she just said OK. I would have bet she liked me. One of our closest mutual girl friends mentioned, she always thought she had a thing for me. I don't get why she didn't speak up when I did, why she hasn't yet, why she still tries to keep contact when my intentions were clear... |
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| Author: | DeeDubStyle [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:34 am ] |
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anyone else? ideas, comments, suggestions? |
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| Author: | Don Draper [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 5:39 am ] |
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Okay. Go to the concert. But, take a girl along with you. Or a buddy. Just have fun. DO NOT have the mindset to ignore this girl, because if you're thinking about it, it gets harder to. Also, she's just stringing you along. She hasn't reciprocated your attraction in any fundamental way, as of now. So, for now, she doesn't want you. She just wants a buddy to hang out with. Unintentionally, you did a great move by putting this relationship in the deep freeze for some time. That should drive her nuts, while giving you time and perspective to deal with this. Well done. If she tries to be a bitch, just take her by the hand to a corner, and tell her in a firm voice, "What are you doing? I'm gonna be brief. We are here to have a good time watching a band we like. Don't ruin it." and walk back. That slap to the wrist should serve its purpose well afterwards the concert too. |
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| Author: | DeeDubStyle [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 8:04 am ] |
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I asked her what the details were, who is going, where its at, and she responded with "Me and you" Thing is, I know shes attracted to me, I just don't know whether or not there are feelings attached. I made a move on her a few months ago and we made out. Then she called me up drunk, a week or two later and we had sex. I dated one of her close friends, who I met through this girl. If I don't work that day, I am going to go to the concert and just be the way I was before I told her. It will be loud so I won't have to bother talking, or ignoring. I will just read her and see how she acts towards me, and meet some new girls that like the same music as me. If I can tell she's not feeling it, then back to freeze out mode, until I am ready. |
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| Author: | Don Draper [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:14 am ] |
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Quote: I asked her what the details were, who is going, where its at, and she responded with "Me and you"
Thing is, I know shes attracted to me, I just don't know whether or not there are feelings attached. I made a move on her a few months ago and we made out. Then she called me up drunk, a week or two later and we had sex. I dated one of her close friends, who I met through this girl. If I don't work that day, I am going to go to the concert and just be the way I was before I told her. It will be loud so I won't have to bother talking, or ignoring. I will just read her and see how she acts towards me,and meet some new girls that like the same music as me. If I can tell she's not feeling it, then back to freeze out mode, until I am ready. Think you should have mentioned that earlier, yeah? Anyway, if you've had sex then she definitely is into you. Women cannot separate sex and emotions. Not a lot of them anyway. But, well good luck with your "reading". Looks like you didn't need advice at all, of you were going to go ahead and do it your way. |
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| Author: | DeeDubStyle [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:36 am ] |
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Quote: Think you should have mentioned that earlier, yeah? Anyway, if you've had sex then she definitely is into you. Women cannot separate sex and emotions. Not a lot of them anyway. But, well good luck with your "reading". Looks like you didn't need advice at all, of you were going to go ahead and do it your way. No, I definitely could have used all the advice I received, I recently came to my conclusion thanks to the advice. |
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