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Help with this please..
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=96197		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  beau041286 [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 12:31 am ]
Post subject:  Help with this please..
Right.
I'm trying to get things back together with my ex girlfriend.
She's called Daisy.

I called her yesterday and left a voicemail saying 'Hey it's me, call me if you want.'
She didn't call back. So 40 minutes a later I sent her a text saying, 'Just needed some directions in town. Found it now! x'

Within a minute I had a missed call and a text saying, 'Thought u just wanted a chat. Was gunna ring when I'd eaten. x'

I left it at that. Then today I thought I'd reply..

Me: Don't worry about it. How are you today anyway ? x
Her: I'm good thank you. Going to a barn dance later! You ? x
Me: Good! That sounds fun! Getting your cowboy boots on ? I'm good thank you. x
Her: I think I might have to! Lol. You got anything good planned this weekend ? x
Me: Ooh whell I guess I could call you Daisy Duke! We'll see where the weekend takes me. x
Her: My wrist / arm is hurting so much lately from changing gear all the time! :( gay. x
Me: Aww no way! At least you're driving now though. I've got to shoot! Have fun! x

I decided to text her again like 5 or six hours later saying..

Me: Daisy Duke didn't mention whether she had fun at the barn dance.. x

She hasn't replied. Looking back at it I can understand why really.

I wanna sort things out with her and to be honest it seems like there is still some feelings there from her point of view.
Can people offer some genuine tips/advice ?
Thanks.
Author:  anthonypham [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 12:40 am ]
Post subject: 
too needy!

it is very clear that is you, that wants to get back with her, and not your ex-gf.

She would text you, after she had eaten???!! It shows that you are not important enough for her.

one advice: let her put more effort in this! Then she will appreciate you and the relationship more.

Right now this is story with no happy ending.
Author:  beau041286 [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 12:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks.
That's exactly what I thought when I read it back.

Do you have any suggestions of what I can do/say ?

Should I go the complete opposite route as though I'm not bothered ?
Author:  anthonypham [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 12:58 am ]
Post subject: 
No disrespect to you bro!

Why did you and her break up then?

First question you have to ask yourself is: why do i want her back?
Is she that wonderful? Or are you afraid you will not find somebody else?

Second question is: do I want her back? Or are we both trying to be back together? I don't know the background, but it seems like she is already over you. and it is too obvious you want her back. DLV

Third questions is: will the way you are approaching her, make you and her feel comfortable? You showed some needy behaviour, while she is a bit non-responsive. She doesn't like the way you are approaching her.

Fourth question: Does she want you back?

These questions you have to ask yourself, before you are approaching her again.
Author:  beau041286 [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:06 am ]
Post subject: 
In my opinion she broke up with me for being too needy.

I want to get back with her because I have genuine feelings for her and a lot to give her. I already have another girl after me but I want to sort things out instead.

Yeah you're probably right there.

Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't but feelings don't just go away right away.

I was thinking of just backing off for a while to be honest. Rather than digging deeper.

One thing I remember her saying when we first got together was that she couldn't read me and it made her more interested in me so I guess I have to become somewhat of a mystery to her again. If it worked once I'm sure it could work again.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:13 am ]
Post subject: 
You're right, feelings don't go away right away. That is probably why this girl didn't dump you the moment she thought you were too needy. She waited to see if you were going to ease up.

Another girl is interested, go hang out with her. You don't have to fuck her, but you need to not talk about your ex at all. Even if she asks, you just tell her you don't want to get into it, long story, etc, and change the subject. All I ask is that you go out and have fun. You need to remind yourself that life rocks and that there are tons of people out there who kick ass, including you. But if you spend all day thinking about this girl and making small talk with her, you're gonna get depressed. And when you're getting depressed you will think you need her to be happy, it's a shitty cycle.

You want a real indicator? She's going to a party! She didn't even fucking invite you, if that's not a sign that she has moved on, I don't know what is.
Author:  Don Draper [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, the guy above is right. She has moved on.

I see nothing in the conversation above which implies any desire on her part to get back together with you. And you're still being needy, messaging her and then justifying yourself.

Don't do that. Also, the girl on the side you mentioned? What about her? Why don't you explore your opportunities with her? Seems like it will serve two purposes :

1. You won't focus on your ex as much.

2. You might actually have a good time.

Also, limit your interaction with your ex. She needs to understand that you won't share everything with her anymore, you don't have to. At all.
Author:  beau041286 [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 9:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah true.

Well are there any techniques I can use to get her attracted to me again ?
Author:  beau041286 [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 9:51 am ]
Post subject: 
In fact, you know what. Fuck this.
Gotta knock her confidence a bit, fuck being a wuss.
Author:  beau041286 [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 2:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Well I saw her today at a party at my friends house.

First thing I said to her was.. 'I like those (about her leggings).. I saw a girl wearing them the other day. You could see she didn't like it. Then we got talking a bit and it seemed like she lowered her defence a bit and started to touch my hands.

Did a couple of these things throughout the night and she seemed to want to talk longer each time.

Then I left earlier than everyone else and said I was going to see a friend.
When asked who.. I replied with. 'Just a friend..'
Author:  DJ_Z [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:19 am ]
Post subject: 
You aren't listening

We are telling you to move on, and you are ignoring us. While you certainly have every right to do that, why come to a forum if you aren't willing to acknowledge you may need to change your attitude? You left a party early, were you actually going to see someone? Or were you just trying to make her jealous? It better be door number one, or else you just did the exact opposite of my advice! You are basing your actions around getting a reaction out of her.

The opposite of love is indifference. Real indifference, not manufactured apathy.

I'm all for not being a wuss, but you are still trying to "win her back." If you left a party just to drop that line about seeing a friend, she still has some power over you. I may be a prick sometimes, but I know what I'm doing here. You gotta give it a shot.
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