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Question about Day 2s, skilled input needed.
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Author:  april6e [ Sun Jul 10, 2011 11:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Question about Day 2s, skilled input needed.
Do you guys find that you get more Day 2s from your social circle or from cold approaches?

As I struggle to learn this game, I'm finding that just about every Day 2 I go on is from my social circle. I'm starting to think that I should just work on my social circle instead of all my attention on trying to get over my fear of approaching so I can have more numbers to work with.
Author:  LD [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Question about Day 2s, skilled input needed.
Quote:
Do you guys find that you get more Day 2s from your social circle or from cold approaches?

As I struggle to learn this game, I'm finding that just about every Day 2 I go on is from my social circle. I'm starting to think that I should just work on my social circle instead of all my attention on trying to get over my fear of approaching so I can have more numbers to work with.
Hi again mate!

I never had that. Even more, i never had day 2 with somebody from my social circle.

So you need to either:
1) improve your skills or
2) enlarge your social circle.

I would actually recommend doing both. I am like very interested in how things go when you go out. I remember a post by you before. We give some advice back then. What is going wrong amigo?

spit it out!

cheers
Author:  april6e [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh, hey LD, I remember you and your useful advice.

I'm still having trouble getting Day 2s from my social circle, the whole "I don't care enough to respond back to your conversation stuff".

I'm kinda down because of my lack of any results, so I haven't been cold approaching lately, my AA came back strong. I'm going out tomorrow, but it'll probably be walking around the mall scared again. I have all this crap I want to try, but I can't get past getting a number with most women.

Man, I really wish I had PUA friends/a natural friend to emulate and naturally learn from. Starting with no social circle and no friends is tough, all your motivation has to come from yourself.
Author:  LD [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Oh, hey LD, I remember you and your useful advice.

I'm still having trouble getting Day 2s from my social circle, the whole "I don't care enough to respond back to your conversation stuff".

I'm kinda down because of my lack of any results, so I haven't been cold approaching lately, my AA came back strong. I'm going out tomorrow, but it'll probably be walking around the mall scared again. I have all this crap I want to try, but I can't get past getting a number with most women.

Man, I really wish I had PUA friends/a natural friend to emulate and naturally learn from. Starting with no social circle and no friends is tough, all your motivation has to come from yourself.
Yo man.

yeah, it is tough. But the biggest obstacle is nothing else but you. There is no point in you PU career where you will no longer encounter stupid things, like girls leaving you in mid sentence, or people who seem interested just to flake every single time you wanna do something. It happens, often! i never gave up.

i never had a friend whom i learned from. When my relationship was over, the only thing i had was some forum where they talked about some pu material, very basic though. I picked up some titles of books, looked for them and started reading. Then i just started doing stuff that i read. I went out by myself. I figured that i would make friends on the fly, which i did. After a couple of weeks of going out in the same neighbourhood, there were already lots of people i knew. yet, i never stayed long with them on one night, as my purpose was to meet ladies and work on my skills.

I even remember how i made little notes that would fit in my wallet, how i would go to the toilet, but instead of peeing, i just looked in my wallet for the next thing to do or the next thing to say, the next trick to try. I had a collection of phone number of ladies that i never had a second date with. But hell, in the beginning, i was proud of just being able to do that!

No matter how stupid your methods are, never give up. Your AA is coming back? Only one way to remove it once again. Grab your nuts, go out and talk. Talk talk talk. Try everything, canned material, things you come up with, excuses, i dont really care. But, instead of going for a phonenumber, try to have fun on the spot. Focus on having a good time now. when you both are having fun (that might be laughing, that might be an interesting conversation), look her dead in the eyes and say: i really had fun with you, lets do it again.

if things arent working out for you, try to remember how it went, conversations etc, you can post them here if you have the balls. If you havent, you can and may pm them to me. We can discuss them.

Cheers and good luck. And remember: Before the Wright brothers went up, they had fallen down many many times before.
Author:  TheFreshPrince [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
How often are you approaching strangers? Do you sometimes just set aside say, five hours in the evening and head to a major area, like a shopping center, specifically to open people and get numbers?

From what you've said, it sounds like you may simply be using your social circle as a crutch, believing that if you have this circle, with all these people already comfortable with you, you need to put your effort there.

I would recommend going out specifically to game, grabbing numbers, and MAKING people comfortable with you, instead of using the people you already have.
Author:  april6e [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
I usually go out for 3 hours, once or twice a week to a rich location (bookstore or mall) and walk around for sets to open.

Half the time, I just walk around, scared to death.

Sometimes, I'm in a better mood, like today, and I'll open a few women, of course, I get shot down everytime. Apparently, every attractive woman has a boyfriend or is engaged. I am utterly surprised at how good I am at hitting on taken women.

I've done maybe 15 cold approaches in the last month (not many, I know, I'm trying), and I think about 20% of them were married or engaged, and 60% having a boyfriend.

They always calm newbie's fears by saying that the worse that will happen is that a woman will say no, but I've gotten some pretty nasty responses this month. Luckily I'm used to it by now.
Author:  TheFreshPrince [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
From the sounds of it, you still have some serious AA. I'm not sure about running into that many people who are taken. it may just be that you're not coming across confident enough, so they're making excuses. But even if we take 20% as married and 60% with a boyfriend, that leaves 20% available. Out of the 15 cold approaches you've done, that makes 3. Not bad, except that's over the course of a month. Those 15 approaches should have been in the matter of an hour, especially with 3 hours set aside for opening! It definitely seems to me like you simply don't have the confidence to open people, and are concerned with their responses. That's OK! Everyone's been there before, you just need to deal with it. This also explains why you've been sticking with your social circle: You don't have to open anybody, and there's already a degree of comfort there.

You need to approach, approach, approach! :wink:

Doctor's Orders:

Get a small notebook, and on the first page, write down some canned openers, and some silly pickup lines. They should be direct, as in "These are definitely going to be shot down before I say a second sentence" type of stuff. Then use them. Approach everybody in your age range. No grandmas and no kids, but it doesn't matter how attractive they are, open them! Since you're going to be blown out pretty quickly, you should be averaging at least 20 opens per hour. That's 60 opens in your one day of outings. After every one, take a minute and jot down the response you got. Put a tally mark next to one if you've already gotten it before. Count "I have a boyfriend" but not "I'm married." I've successfully gotten numbers off of people in very little time who were very involved with boyfriends, so if you pull it off right, you can view this as a mere excuse.

At the end of the day, you should realize that there are very few ways for you to be rejected, and none of them should matter to you. How do they affect you tomorrow, when you wake up and go out to do the same thing again? All they can do are wear down your self esteem. Don't let them do that! Their opinion of you means nothing. They don't even know you, so who are they to decide your worth?
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