PUA Forum :: Paying for dates?

I don`t understand why you guys are still taking chicks you only intend to fuck on dates...Try this: Invite the chick to your house. Then you don`t have to worry about who pays.

I am not talking about paying for first few dates. I am talking about the girls I have been seeing on regular basis for few months. These girls expect me to pay everytime as if they have no manners and this is even true with my girlfriends as well.

This is what I feel ok with. I will only take care of women who will carry and raise my child. Why do we men even have to fucking pay for girlfriends dinner or dates. It is not like they are doing you a favor. They want to be with you too. Even the girls who I do a favor by fucking them act the same way.

Quote:

You are the common denominator in all this squire. Stop throwing a hissy fit and realise that YOU haven't set your stall out right from the off.
If YOU don't (to paraphrase Mack) manage this shit upfront right from the beginning, then they will consider it the norm that you pay.

Don't expect them to suddenly think 'Oh maybe I should pay' - you need to LEAD this behavior from the the get-go.

You ask the total AFC question of 'why do men have to do this?' The answer? We don't. I don't. Cos I made it clear from the off that I expect 50/50 from them - unless I DECIDE that I'm gonna shout it (birthday, special occasion).

I make no apologies if this sounds harsh - but stop blaming others for behavior that YOU can control.

Social Conditioning for my money. Google your very question, and you will see such things as: 'gentleman's behavior', 'it is expected', 'it shows that the man cares', 'its romantic', 'respect', 'tradition'

Just years of socially conditioned bullshit tropes. Don;t concern yourself with trying to understand - you live your OWN reality - fuck what is expected, set your frame, stick to it and ignore 'convention'. COnvention is what drives all these AFCs to despair. Have the confidence and ability to live by your own rules.

why?

because, at heart, most women are prostitutes.

they learned from a very early age that their most valuable currency is:

pussy.

and, motherfucker, you better believe, if they can get you to pay for it

(in one way or another)

they are going to make you pay.

it's sales, my friend.

women want to be "wanted".

they need to perceive that they are "wanted".

what do you do when YOU "want" something?

i'll tell you,

you go buy it!

they want to be bought.

some with cash.

some with drugs.

some with attention.

others with a house, car, kids, and a nest egg.

sales.

pretty fucking disturbing if you think about it.

Author:	Superpredator [ Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:51 pm ]
Post subject:	Paying for dates?
Why is it that most of the girls I go out with expect me to pay for over 95% of the dates and don't even bother to offer or pay. I don't even like them so much and even the ones who fall in love with me tend to show the same behavior except for some who has low self esteem. I am even talking about the girls who I just fuck( go out for fun) and I have no intention in having relationship with them. What are your experinece guys? How often do you pay in any kind of relationships whether serious or just dating.

Author:	Mack 2.0 [ Tue Jul 05, 2011 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:
this is handled up front. managing expectations. most women know that it takes a BALLSY guy to say "shit, i ain't payin" (with a smile on his face). if you don't get that out of the way VERY FIRST THING, you are stuck paying from that day forward. there are a few good threads here dealing with this very topic. i say your best bet is to have some good canned (but original, maybe borrowed) material UP FRONT for handling this.

Author:	Beyond Pick Up [ Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:50 am ]
Post subject:
you can try to be honest and say that you are short on cash or stuff...

Author:	Brian Bond [ Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:01 am ]
Post subject:
there was a topic with the same issue. you might find something there how-many-of-you-have-her-pay-her-way-or ... highlight= this is what i say: No need to tell them upfront that you are not paying for her stuff. Actually, you should pay... BUT charge back... with interest!!! When i go out for dinner with a girl and the check comes, i use this line (my own material): "I got no cash on me, so let me get this on my card... you got the drinks latter!". If she says "ok", ITS ON! You know she wants to spend more time with you, AND she will pay the drinks... HOW COOL IS THAT . If she starts "oh no... bla bla bla" ... no problem... call the waitress and ask "innocently" if they can split the tab. Now, dont be afraid of telling her to get you a drink. In your case, not to be an ass, go like this "what do you usually drink?!... Uhmm... not my thing but well, make it 2 then, i got to go use the bathroom really quick". This is kind of a shit test... see if she passes. Then just play around with the fact that she is paying you drinks. Role play as if she is your sugar moma or servant! Tell her she has bad taste for drinks and tell her to show you another drink. Pretend its normal for girls to pay you drinks so she doesnt feel awkward. Another line i use when they ask me for a drink is this: "i only pay drinks to girls who pay back with sexual favors!" (wink and SMILE)... if she gives u a nasty look, quickly respond "so the next round better be on you or you will owe me big time!". Or if you guys plan on going for dinner, tell her to think about a good ice cream place to take YOU to... now she is in charge... she is supposed to pay YOU! Change roles! Dont be afraid of doing it! If she acts rude, then she might just not be a person you want to hang out with too often.

Author:	Mr_Amazing [ Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:41 am ]
Post subject:
I don`t understand why you guys are still taking chicks you only intend to fuck on dates...Try this: Invite the chick to your house. Then you don`t have to worry about who pays.

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Author:	lolaskate [ Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:13 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: I don`t understand why you guys are still taking chicks you only intend to fuck on dates...Try this: Invite the chick to your house. Then you don`t have to worry about who pays. Some girls, no matter how attracted, make guys wait before having sex. to make sure they aren't just "another girl". Same goes to "rules girls". Hence, needing a day two or date, before getting some.

Author:	Superpredator [ Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:42 pm ]
Post subject:
I am not talking about paying for first few dates. I am talking about the girls I have been seeing on regular basis for few months. These girls expect me to pay everytime as if they have no manners and this is even true with my girlfriends as well. This is what I feel ok with. I will only take care of women who will carry and raise my child. Why do we men even have to fucking pay for girlfriends dinner or dates. It is not like they are doing you a favor. They want to be with you too. Even the girls who I do a favor by fucking them act the same way.

Author:	calimoxo [ Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I am not talking about paying for first few dates. I am talking about the girls I have been seeing on regular basis for few months. These girls expect me to pay everytime as if they have no manners and this is even true with my girlfriends as well. This is what I feel ok with. I will only take care of women who will carry and raise my child. Why do we men even have to fucking pay for girlfriends dinner or dates. It is not like they are doing you a favor. They want to be with you too. Even the girls who I do a favor by fucking them act the same way. You are the common denominator in all this squire. Stop throwing a hissy fit and realise that YOU haven't set your stall out right from the off. If YOU don't (to paraphrase Mack) manage this shit upfront right from the beginning, then they will consider it the norm that you pay. Don't expect them to suddenly think 'Oh maybe I should pay' - you need to LEAD this behavior from the the get-go. You ask the total AFC question of 'why do men have to do this?' The answer? We don't. I don't. Cos I made it clear from the off that I expect 50/50 from them - unless I DECIDE that I'm gonna shout it (birthday, special occasion). I make no apologies if this sounds harsh - but stop blaming others for behavior that YOU can control.

Author:	Superpredator [ Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:08 pm ]
Post subject:
I totally understand the concept of establishing the frame of paying equally by both parties. I do that with most of them and if they are gold diggers type they make a big fuss and I leave them. What I am trying to probe at is the female psychology. Why do they act the way they do? If a chick is my GF then she should have the decency to offer but if the frame was not set right from the beginning they show this behavior. So my question is have any of you guys crack this code of female expectation/behavior? Why they take the ride of free dates even though they know they have less power in the relationship sometimes? Don’t they ever feel like they are using you and if they are your GF and loves you then why would they want to give you an impression that they want to use you for date? Quote: Quote: I am not talking about paying for first few dates. I am talking about the girls I have been seeing on regular basis for few months. These girls expect me to pay everytime as if they have no manners and this is even true with my girlfriends as well. This is what I feel ok with. I will only take care of women who will carry and raise my child. Why do we men even have to fucking pay for girlfriends dinner or dates. It is not like they are doing you a favor. They want to be with you too. Even the girls who I do a favor by fucking them act the same way. You are the common denominator in all this squire. Stop throwing a hissy fit and realise that YOU haven't set your stall out right from the off. If YOU don't (to paraphrase Mack) manage this shit upfront right from the beginning, then they will consider it the norm that you pay. Don't expect them to suddenly think 'Oh maybe I should pay' - you need to LEAD this behavior from the the get-go. You ask the total AFC question of 'why do men have to do this?' The answer? We don't. I don't. Cos I made it clear from the off that I expect 50/50 from them - unless I DECIDE that I'm gonna shout it (birthday, special occasion). I make no apologies if this sounds harsh - but stop blaming others for behavior that YOU can control.

Author:	calimoxo [ Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:43 pm ]
Post subject:
Social Conditioning for my money. Google your very question, and you will see such things as: 'gentleman's behavior', 'it is expected', 'it shows that the man cares', 'its romantic', 'respect', 'tradition' Just years of socially conditioned bullshit tropes. Don;t concern yourself with trying to understand - you live your OWN reality - fuck what is expected, set your frame, stick to it and ignore 'convention'. COnvention is what drives all these AFCs to despair. Have the confidence and ability to live by your own rules.

Author:	Superpredator [ Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:09 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Social Conditioning for my money. Google your very question, and you will see such things as: 'gentleman's behavior', 'it is expected', 'it shows that the man cares', 'its romantic', 'respect', 'tradition' Just years of socially conditioned bullshit tropes. Don;t concern yourself with trying to understand - you live your OWN reality - fuck what is expected, set your frame, stick to it and ignore 'convention'. COnvention is what drives all these AFCs to despair. Have the confidence and ability to live by your own rules. You are right on! Make my own rules! points taken, thankyou!

Author:	Kassio [ Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:25 pm ]
Post subject:
dam straight man. it sounds like these girls are just bumming off your pay cheque. tell her that you will pay half and the tip. but not for most of her meal.

Author:	Mack 2.0 [ Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:
why? because, at heart, most women are prostitutes. they learned from a very early age that their most valuable currency is: pussy. and, motherfucker, you better believe, if they can get you to pay for it (in one way or another) they are going to make you pay. it's sales, my friend. women want to be "wanted". they need to perceive that they are "wanted". what do you do when YOU "want" something? i'll tell you, you go buy it! they want to be bought. some with cash. some with drugs. some with attention. others with a house, car, kids, and a nest egg. sales. pretty fucking disturbing if you think about it.

Author:	Slip n Slide [ Thu Jul 07, 2011 6:08 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: why? because, at heart, most women are prostitutes. they learned from a very early age that their most valuable currency is: pussy. and, motherfucker, you better believe, if they can get you to pay for it (in one way or another) they are going to make you pay. it's sales, my friend. women want to be "wanted". they need to perceive that they are "wanted". what do you do when YOU "want" something? i'll tell you, you go buy it! they want to be bought. some with cash. some with drugs. some with attention. others with a house, car, kids, and a nest egg. sales. pretty fucking disturbing if you think about it. ...damn.

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