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What if the obstacle doesn't engage but the target does?
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Author:  JSmooth [ Mon Oct 22, 2007 3:02 am ]
Post subject:  What if the obstacle doesn't engage but the target does?

Give me some feedback guys? What I do if my target engages my opener but the obstacle is ignoring me? Do I neg the obstacle with something like, "Party is over here? Do I start a new thread?

Here was the situation. I was in a club saturday, and I approached a two set two 7's that were seated. I walked slightly past, then over my shoulder. Here is what I said, "I want your opinion on something, but I can only stay for a moment. Should a guy breakup with a girl using a text message? Before you answer, know that she's been pretty weird lately, showing up unannouced, and just generally acting possesive. Obviously he doesn't want to see her. What do you think?"

My target was closest to me, and engaged when I opened. My obstacle was on the other side of the small bar table and paid me no attention. The target during the opener was leaning in, smiling, and touching her hair while giving her responses.

She said, "No, he should do it in person." My immediate reply was, "Why?" mostly because I was unprepared. She then said, "Well, because those things should be handled more personally."

At this point I wasn't sure what to do. My obstacle was ignoring me. I didn't want to give my target to much IOI at that point. Being new and confused I ejected saying I had to get back to my friends.

What should I have done?

JSMOOTH

Author:  Chikito [ Mon Oct 22, 2007 3:10 am ]
Post subject: 

Its quite simple you need to engage them both. The obstacle was looking for a way out and hers was by letting target answer the question for her. From there you should move onto somthing that engages them both. Like the best friend routine would be a good example.

Its also just as effective to just go ahead and talk to the obstacle and ignore your target. Thats a DHV in itself.

Author:  Ka [ Mon Oct 22, 2007 3:45 am ]
Post subject: 

I agree with the above poster, also you should have had a resonse ready after they gave you thier answer. They can only say YES or NO, so plan ahead next time and be ready to control the convo and lead it into the direction you want.

sometimes if the target is throwing herself at you id say go for it...however your sucsess would prob increase 10 times over if you at least get the obsticle mildly involved...

Id say cold read(in some form) the obsticle or do best friends test, but direct your attention while doin it at the obsticle. Id say cold reading might be the safer of the 2 routes since the best friends test was on VH1.

Also your body language might have singled out the target while you were opening, make sure to make EC with everyone, more so with the obsticle

hope this helps

Author:  Rye Lee [ Mon Oct 22, 2007 4:55 am ]
Post subject: 

When that happens I usually just say, "What's your opinion?" to the other girl. Sometimes lightly touching her on the forearm or shoulder if she is comepletely checked out. I don't think there is anything wrong with the target being engaged first, because this shows she has interest in you and then when you start angling your body towards her friend a little bit and engaging her more, while negging the target, it causes more jealousy and for her to fight to get your attention back.

Author:  JSmooth [ Mon Oct 22, 2007 12:06 pm ]
Post subject:  thanks

Thanks guys that's what I needed to hear. - JSMOOTH

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