There are ways to lean in and not DLV yourself.
Just tilt forward, say what you are going to say, then return to your
upright body language. Then, have her lean in when she wants to say
something. It's when the leaning becomes a constant part of your
natural body language is when it gets you in trouble.
I see it as an opportunity to be able to say stuff directly into a
woman's ear...for her to feel your warm breath on her neck. It
has a sense of comfort building built in as well.
Granted, you stand a chance of isolating your target too soon, but
just follow the rules and use that same techique to open the
obstacles first.
Use it to your advantage as well. For example, lean in to the friend,
say something, then point and laugh at the target. She'll wonder
what in the hell you just said.
Take your weaknesses and turn them into your strengths.
For every excuse you make, I can probably find a positive way around it.
P.S.
Also, get into the club earlier, say around 9 or 10. It's usually quieter
as things are just getting warmed up...plus, you'd be surprised at the
quality of women you'll find that early on.