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Is it time to leave pickup behind?
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Author:  Mack Wild [ Thu Jun 02, 2011 9:23 am ]
Post subject:  Is it time to leave pickup behind?
I've had success with it man. I mean I have gotten with girls I never imagined I could. I'm getting older now. As I speak to you I live with my best wingman. For the last few months we have hit clubs and bars 2-3 times a week. I'm 30 now, trying to fit in with college age girls out with their social groups at the club.

I'm trying to go around with the swagger, matching the energy, being edgy and all that but I'm to the point now where I just want to have something real and down to earth. It's not to say that I am against casual sex -- but I'm just not feeling the rockstar act anymore and I'm starting to feel like I'm at a disadvantage in the clubs with the younger competition.

My friends think it's an inner game issue that I need to dispatch and that I need to stop thinking like this and get back on it. They feel like even if my results have indeed gone down I can still get mine if I have the right attitude.

I'm not sure if I should agree with this or if I should accept that it's time to move on from pickup, maybe find a good solid dating site or something. I'm tired of the games. Tired of the facade. Physically and mentally drained from going out all the time, getting drunk, going to bed late ect.

Has anyone been through this and have some relevant advice for me? Are these thoughts demons to be cast aside or realistic issues to be taken seriously? What should I do? Step it up and think more positive or change my goals and course of action to match how I feel?
Author:  JuanAntonioB [ Thu Jun 02, 2011 10:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Guys will get in, realise how much theyve been missing out on, and get super excited. so they go out 24/7, try to pickup as much as possible, fuck as much as possible etc.

But you gotta ask yourself, why the fuck are you truly in this for? Is it to develop your social skills? Is it to find a long term girlfriend? Is it purely for entertainment? Is it a mix of all of the above?

Personally, I got in to improve my social skills to the point where I am able to comfortably converse with a stranger about anything. And if that stranger were an attractive female, I would also be able to attract her. Thats what I got in this for.

Once i got past that, I had no more use for "game". Going out late, getting shitty sleep, running into lots and lots of stupid drunk ignorant people, its a bunch of bull shit.

But what I have learned is invaluable. I know for a certainty now that if my current girl were to disappear, I could easily go out and find another hot one, seduce her, and have a long lasting relationship or whatevr I choose it to be.

I know this because during my years of game I was able to do this over and over again until I settled on my current girl.

But perhaps you have not found what you are looking for yet.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Fri Jun 03, 2011 12:05 am ]
Post subject: 
it takes "ultimate game" to keep a wife happy. lol.

the game never ends.

to the original poster, if you are ready to settle down, find a great girl to settle down with. and save all your game for her. she will love it!
Author:  salad_fingers [ Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:31 am ]
Post subject: 
I read you original post and I see you make exclusive reference to the game in bars and clubs.

Again, WHY OHY WHY do I see yet another post on the PUA forum where attention is only paid towards pickup in nightgame? You say you feel you should move on from that, well how's about some daygame? Or good old spontaneous pickup game in any location that is not a bar or club? Why do some peeps think clubs are the be all end all when really this is where AMOGs, BSs and CBs are at their worst?
Author:  Mack Wild [ Fri Jun 03, 2011 5:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I read you original post and I see you make exclusive reference to the game in bars and clubs.

Again, WHY OHY WHY do I see yet another post on the PUA forum where attention is only paid towards pickup in nightgame? You say you feel you should move on from that, well how's about some daygame? Or good old spontaneous pickup game in any location that is not a bar or club? Why do some peeps think clubs are the be all end all when really this is where AMOGs, BSs and CBs are at their worst?
I agree with you that there has to be another way. With your situation of living in London, I'm sure the day game there is terrific. My city is a bit more challenging to find good spots for day game. For day game to be good it feels important to find good spots where socializing can be accepted. I think that is one of only two things that is so attractive about night game. With Night game not only is it totally normal to go up to people you don't know and talk to them, but there are tons of girls around. I'm sure with London there is a lot of that during the day as well. Me personally I would LOVE to permanently replace night game with day game -- but I'm finding it extremely challenging to get the results during the day mainly because of a lack of "spots". It's hard to get past that initial barrier of you just trying to "pick her up" when you only have malls and college campus to work with.

I'm thinking about meetup groups, internet, and also finding a way to get day game to work. If anyone has any advice on these things feel free to share. It would be nice to not feel I have to go out drinking, paying cover charges, and dealing with crazy environments all the time just to meet cool girls. When your going out only because you feel it's the only way to meet women, it tends to hurt your results.
Author:  andd95 [ Fri Jun 03, 2011 6:34 am ]
Post subject: 
now that you have gone through a bunch of girls, you can filter out what you do or do not want in a relationship that has actual meaning. You know all the tricks girls will play so you can tell if a girl you are genuinely interested in feels the same way.

if you have a relationship, game keeps you on your toes keeps the romance going AND worse comes to worse you can always get another.

if you have neither, game is about being comfortable, social and the ability to communicate on various levels. Those are the levels of game for me or certain things that I believe game help you with.
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It's not to say that I am against casual sex -- but I'm just not feeling the rockstar act anymore and I'm starting to feel like I'm at a disadvantage in the clubs with the younger competition.
it means you are getting wiser ... there is more in life than pu girls and f-closing them. you need or have more meaning into your life and want to change things - going out and pickingup woman is not enough.

what is your purpose in life.. in the end what do you want ? i think it's this question which is bothering you and not the gaming.
the way you feel about gaming right now is just a symptom , it means you are very mature.

the younger competition doesn't mean shit ... you are there for your own sake - to have fun and learn something. all those other guys probably don't know what they want.

sometimes it's easy to forget why we do things , especially when we want something else. Change isn't bad , it's always difficult even tho it means improval. it's inner game ... i think you want more meaning into your life , game isn't enough and i agree.
im 23 and i have the same issue - i can identify myself with everything you have written down.

you can change some goals and mindsets regarding game , but they won't really make a difference. what makes the difference is how you live your life and game is only a part of it.

im not saying to drop game .. never drop game because those skills and the things you learn are gold ... really. keep on gaming but lay the emphasis on your inner game.

a book you maybe find interesting : prisoners of our thoughts by alex pattakos
http://www.amazon.com/Prisoners-Our-Tho ... 095&sr=1-1

it's about finding meaning in your life on multiple levels in correlation to values in inner boundaries.
Author:  Mack Wild [ Sat Jun 04, 2011 8:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
it's about finding meaning in your life on multiple levels in correlation to values in inner boundaries.
Sounds like a really good read for me right now. It's definately true that lately I just don't seem to really give a shit whether I get a girl or not anymore -- I feel like I have bigger fish to fry.
Author:  salad_fingers [ Sun Jun 05, 2011 11:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I agree with you that there has to be another way. With your situation of living in London, I'm sure the day game there is terrific. My city is a bit more challenging to find good spots for day game. For day game to be good it feels important to find good spots where socializing can be accepted. I think that is one of only two things that is so attractive about night game. With Night game not only is it totally normal to go up to people you don't know and talk to them, but there are tons of girls around. I'm sure with London there is a lot of that during the day as well. Me personally I would LOVE to permanently replace night game with day game -- but I'm finding it extremely challenging to get the results during the day mainly because of a lack of "spots". It's hard to get past that initial barrier of you just trying to "pick her up" when you only have malls and college campus to work with.
I understand more now. Hope I didn't come across as a bit of a smartypants in the previous post. :wink:
For some reason I assume you are in the USA and maybe in a relatively small town, no? What is the nearest big city to you - if it is not that far then daygame ahead! Or even a medium sized college town should be promising too.
Author:  Mack Wild [ Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:26 am ]
Post subject: 
I live on the outskirts of a relatively big city but the city is not walkable. There are really no good day game spots that I am aware of. The local lair always talks about 2 places only:

1) College
2) Malls

With malls it's hard to hit on girls while they are shopping. You can do it and they sometimes seem flattered, but it's outside the norm enough that most use the boyfriend thing. It seems way better to go indirect in the mall, at least at first.

With the college campus it's kind of the same thing. They are there to go to their classes and study. You can hit on them and some will be flattered but it's just so outside the norm that most politely decline. It seems way better to talk about school and the weather and shit and try to work your way to a conclusion to talk again later and get a number or a facebook.

I've lived in cities with good day game. They tend to have huge walkable area's where there are tons of girls around just chilling with seated benches, almost like a park. The girls there arn't busy. They are out to be out.

This will always define a good day game spot. Other good spots are:

1) Bookstores
2) Laundry mats
3) Bus stops.
4) Beaches.
5) Parks.
6) Town squares.
7) Outdoor concerts and festivals
Any kind of event.

I'm not saying you can't get girls in malls or on college campus's -- but be ready to do a lot of approaches to get a solid number. At least that's been my experience lately.
Quote:
Quote:
I agree with you that there has to be another way. With your situation of living in London, I'm sure the day game there is terrific. My city is a bit more challenging to find good spots for day game. For day game to be good it feels important to find good spots where socializing can be accepted. I think that is one of only two things that is so attractive about night game. With Night game not only is it totally normal to go up to people you don't know and talk to them, but there are tons of girls around. I'm sure with London there is a lot of that during the day as well. Me personally I would LOVE to permanently replace night game with day game -- but I'm finding it extremely challenging to get the results during the day mainly because of a lack of "spots". It's hard to get past that initial barrier of you just trying to "pick her up" when you only have malls and college campus to work with.
I understand more now. Hope I didn't come across as a bit of a smartypants in the previous post. :wink:
For some reason I assume you are in the USA and maybe in a relatively small town, no? What is the nearest big city to you - if it is not that far then daygame ahead! Or even a medium sized college town should be promising too.
Author:  salad_fingers [ Mon Jun 06, 2011 1:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think that confirms everything about my reasons for indirect daygame. As you explained above, it is best to only go indirect on a college campus or a mall and work hard on a good transition from the opener. That is what I do at all times.
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