Let's back up a sec. You need some back story on this one.
We'll call her HB Jew.
I dated HB Jew 3 years ago for about 2-3 weeks before she ended it because she was dealing with baggage from a recent big breakup. Haven't thought about her much until the first day of school this Fall when we ran into each other.
The thing is, she's had a boyfriend since the Fall.
We've had lunch a few times, and keep running into each other. Whenever we do, her face lights up when she sees me. She hugs me super tight. She always has the Duchenne smile going on when we talk (the genuine kind of smile, where it shows in your eyes). And maybe most importantly, she kinos me. A lot.
Man, if she was single I know she'd be on me faster than a hobo on a ham sandwich. And I've fallen in heavy like with her. Puppy love. Butterflies in the stomach. I got it bad, guys. This never happens to me with any girl, even ones I've been fuck buddies with, so the fact that it's happening now means something.
Sounds like your basic hopeless situation, right? Well, not exactly...
The last time we had lunch was about 1 or 2 months ago. We get to talking about love and relationships, and me trying to sneak in a boyfriend destroyer, I casually turn the conversation to her boyfriend. The situation turned out to be better than I could have hoped for.
For one, when she started talking about her man friend, she lost the Duchenne smile. Her face grew bland. Her body language sagged, and her face stopped glowing. It was impossible to miss, because when she's around me she radiates this irresistable energy.
THE LOGISTICS:
He lives an hour or two away from her, so they only see each other at most twice a week. As she said, "Usually from 9 AM to 9 PM." I'm assuming that means they meet up to hang out a little, fuck, then sleep. Not nearly enough time to maintain a relationship.
I asked her why she's stayed in a relationship like that for 8 or 9 months. Instead of responding with "Because I love him" or "Because he's awesome," she shrugged and said something like, "You know, it's good."
And probably the biggest kicker...
She told me without provocation that she doesn't feel compelled to tell him she loves him.
THE NIGHT IN QUESTION:
I ran into her at a club last night. Same thing happens; her face lights up, she throws her arms out, and rushes to hug me tight. If hugs were sex, she'd have done every dirty move in the book to me right there in public.
She says she's drunk, and I've mostly sobered up by the point. We dance a littler (platonically), I give her some playful spins. Then we leave for the bar. I hold my hand out behind me and she takes it. Firmly. We almost never let go of each other's hand the rest of the night.
We talk at the bar for a while, and it's a great conversation. Lots of kino, and she rests her head against my chest when she or I have to pick up a call.
Give me a second here... this girl is stunningly cute, and that memory gives my stomach the tumblies.
We go outside to wait for her friends to pick us up. While we are, there's a girl sitting on the curb crying her eyes out on the phone. I had had a drink and was a little liquored up, and when I'm drunk I have this annoying goddamn inability to resist helping people I see are upset. So I walk over to her and we talk about her problem for 20 minutes or so. I keep hoping HB Jew doesn't think I'm trying to pick up a girl in front of her. The girl leaves, I rejoin HB Jew and her friends, and kick myself for missing out on invaluable alone time with her.
Her friends pick us up, drop us off at her dorm community. We walk to her dorm holding hands and stop outside the door. I make a joke about the weird noises her dorm mates are making on the balcony above us and we both laugh. Then I kiss her.
I was pretty worried she would hesitate or even pull away because of her boyfriend. I worried for nothing. She pulls me in, we make out, and every kiss is amazing in itself.
At one point I pull back. Not wanting to seem like I'm sleazing on a drunk girl with a boyfriend, I tell her I don't know if this is okay; she's drunk and has a boyfriend. She responds that she's not that drunk, then gives me a coy smile and says we'll take it one day at a time. That's all the confirmation I need, and we make out again.
Finally, forcing myself to do a little push-pull, I tell her I should let her go. She says she would invite me in, but she thinks it's a bad idea, and hopes I understand why. I do. She smiles, tells me to text her later, and walks inside.
I never get emotionally invested in a girl after making out with her, but I've had a crush on her almost all year. Last night just made it explode.
THE DAY AFTER:
All day now I've been worrying that she'd wake up today and regret what she did. I called her once around 1pm. She didn't pick up. Texted her around 4pm about a concert I was at; she responds, I respond, and she doesn't respond. I call her around 6pm to set up something for tomorrow, but she doesn't pick up. I tell myself that's it. No more contacting her for at least 1 full day. I worry a little if I contacted too much, but considering how much attraction she was showing me, and even asked me to contact her, I figure it's not a big deal.
Even when we were hanging out as friends, she was almost impossible to get in touch with.
SO WHAT'S YOUR DAMN QUESTION, BARON?
I'm getting to that. I want to know if you guys have any insight as to what might be going through her head. Why would a girl show attraction to you akin to a lion racing towards a fat steak in the savannah, but when it comes to phone game, she's almost a ghost?
I figure she's trying to figure out what happened last night and isn't ready to talk to me fully until she does. I know her well enough to know that she's not the kind of girl to be fucking around with my head.
And guys... don't tell me to next her. We can next any girl we don't really care about. But you know as well as I do that when you've become emotionally invested in a woman, nexting her is easier said than done.