PUA Forum :: Doing favors for a girl: a one-way road to the friendzone?

Technically I wouldn't say strictly yes. Someone might have a different view but I wouldnt want to be the designated driver running a taxi service. It comes across as a bit AFC.

Something that might be better for you is if you had someone else to drive everyone there. Like a friend who is not going to the party. He could do you a favour. You got her friends there. She would like you for that plus you can now drink (if you drink that is) and wouldnt have to worry about driving people there or back. You can enjoy your night more. I don't know how well you know her. IF your close friends I guess it wouldnt be such a big deal to agree to it. If you havent known each other that long for you to physically pick up her friends and drive them to the party to me demonstrates lower value.

Thats just my view though ha.

i wouldnt. this is just me but ive found that people that need lifts, NEEDY everything

Simple...

Tell her to drive.

charge her for the transport
petrol aint free u kno

I wouldn't ever do such a thing cause I ain't a nice guy

But you have to know who you are.
I'm the one telling HB10 to get me a coke because the bar is to crowded. And I let them pay but what ever. Nice guys don't always finish last. THhey just get different girls! Adam Lyons spoke about this at the 21 Convention 2010 you should check that out.

Through showing this girl a favor your not DHVing her friends. Since they will see you as someone who will do anything for a HB. You would be DLVing yourself to the other girls since they will only see you as a friend who does stuff for me, and not as the guy who they are sleeping with. Now there are exceptions but not in this case. You don't have to be the asshole to get women, but you have to show that you are the prize not the other way around.

Make her think that you have more important things to do. Say i have already made plans rah rah rah, if its her birthday and you know where she is heading out then head there later after she has partied a bit. Not so you can take advantage of a drunk girl. But more so she will think he cam here but not with me. wtf.

As soon as you make em think thats when they get vulnerable and curious.

Your first comment you said about "what makes you think im coming to your party" is probably a bit assholish for my taste, but hey whatever floats your boat.

I find that saying things like and in that tone would have to be an answer to something that she has said that could be as equally as blunt. There has to be a reason for everything.

I just make it out that i got higher priorities than she does.

what i meant was those looking for lifts are needy. when your one of the few in your group of friends that have a decent car, ive found that u can quickly become the regular taxi guy--and to be fair i find male friends more needy than the women in this regard.

You can be passive nice, but the more you do favors for her the closer you get to the friend zone.You would rather be in the asshole Zone then the guy who I can get to give me rides wouldn't you. The hotter they are the more that they have men doing favors for them. Which is more of the same.

You don't want to be just like all the other guys you want to be different whatever it takes. You dont want to be that guy who helped me out. My personal opinion is to not to do favors for a girl that isn't doing anything for you. If shes not fucking u, paying for you or helping you then no need to waste time on her.

Well, first off, do you really want to do the favor? Put aside the DLV stuff, would you really want to do it? Are her friends going to annoy you while you're driving them to the location? If it's gonna annoy YOU, don't do it.

Of course, if you're investing energy and emotions into this girl, you probably want to do it. But you don't wanna look like a pansy. If that's it, all you have to do is reframe. That's one thing I'm learning -- doesn't matter really what the situation is, the FRAME and who controls it is the most important thing.

Right now, she controls the frame, and if you agreed to chauffeur, you'd be doing her a favor. Why not trade for it? "My back is really sore today. On a scale from 1-10, I'm around a 4. Tell you what, if you can get me up to a 9.9 I'll see about clearing some space in my schedule to drive your friends to the party."

Enjoy

-H!j!nx

Author:	iamclosed [ Wed May 18, 2011 7:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Doing favors for a girl: a one-way road to the friendzone?
Hi, there's this HB8 I'm gaming and her birthday celebration is comping up in 2 weeks. In the planning, she asks me if we have a van and if I could drive people to the venue. I replied with "No, we don't have a van. We have we do have a mystery machine." I don't think she got the reference, but in the end I said that yes we do have a van. But I asked her, "What makes you think that I'll surely go to your birthday party?" and I think that surprised her a bit, but she replied she's just asking a bunch of people. In the end, I said I'm still not sure if my schedule would allow me to go to her party, so we'll see. How should I handle this? Would it be good to say yes to favors like this?

Author:	devi4nt [ Wed May 18, 2011 8:44 pm ]
Post subject:
Technically I wouldn't say strictly yes. Someone might have a different view but I wouldnt want to be the designated driver running a taxi service. It comes across as a bit AFC. Something that might be better for you is if you had someone else to drive everyone there. Like a friend who is not going to the party. He could do you a favour. You got her friends there. She would like you for that plus you can now drink (if you drink that is) and wouldnt have to worry about driving people there or back. You can enjoy your night more. I don't know how well you know her. IF your close friends I guess it wouldnt be such a big deal to agree to it. If you havent known each other that long for you to physically pick up her friends and drive them to the party to me demonstrates lower value. Thats just my view though ha.

Author:	Herne [ Wed May 18, 2011 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:
i wouldnt. this is just me but ive found that people that need lifts, NEEDY everything

Author:	Influx [ Wed May 18, 2011 9:17 pm ]
Post subject:
Simple... Tell her to drive.

Author:	quickquestion [ Wed May 18, 2011 11:55 pm ]
Post subject:
charge her for the transport petrol aint free u kno

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Author:	marquito42 [ Thu May 19, 2011 12:58 am ]
Post subject:
I wouldn't ever do such a thing cause I ain't a nice guy But you have to know who you are. I'm the one telling HB10 to get me a coke because the bar is to crowded. And I let them pay but what ever. Nice guys don't always finish last. THhey just get different girls! Adam Lyons spoke about this at the 21 Convention 2010 you should check that out.

Author:	iamclosed [ Thu May 19, 2011 4:10 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Technically I wouldn't say strictly yes. Someone might have a different view but I wouldnt want to be the designated driver running a taxi service. It comes across as a bit AFC. Something that might be better for you is if you had someone else to drive everyone there. Like a friend who is not going to the party. He could do you a favour. You got her friends there. She would like you for that plus you can now drink (if you drink that is) and wouldnt have to worry about driving people there or back. You can enjoy your night more. I don't know how well you know her. IF your close friends I guess it wouldnt be such a big deal to agree to it. If you havent known each other that long for you to physically pick up her friends and drive them to the party to me demonstrates lower value. Thats just my view though ha. We met July last year, although we're not really close friends. I thought PUAs don't drink when they're gaming? lol. But yeah, that sounds like a nice idea, getting a friend to drive for us. But from the other posters, I'm thinking of not bringing the van anymore, although I'd still bring my car. Quote: i wouldnt. this is just me but ive found that people that need lifts, NEEDY everything Are you saying that the people who need the lift are needy or I'm the one who's needy (if i do it)? Quote: Simple... Tell her to drive. Lol. Nice. But she doesn't have a license yet. Quote: charge her for the transport petrol aint free u kno Another good idea. I'll tell them to just give their bus fares to me for gas money. Quote: I wouldn't ever do such a thing cause I ain't a nice guy But you have to know who you are. I'm the one telling HB10 to get me a coke because the bar is to crowded. And I let them pay but what ever. Nice guys don't always finish last. THhey just get different girls! Adam Lyons spoke about this at the 21 Convention 2010 you should check that out. Well I'm generally a nice guy, but not just to anyone. Hmmmm I'll go for your suggestion and check that vid out. A senior pua told me once that if the girl is doing the favor for you, then it's good. But if it's the other way around, then you're DLVing and ruining your chances with the girl. But I'm thinking that, in this case, it's not just me and the girl. Her friends are also in this scenario. If I do the favor for the girl, then her friends might see me as someone reliable and that might do some good. Is this a wrong way of thinking?

Author:	Ziffer [ Thu May 19, 2011 5:17 am ]
Post subject:
A senior pua told me once that if the girl is doing the favor for you, then it's good. But if it's the other way around, then you're DLVing and ruining your chances with the girl. But I'm thinking that, in this case, it's not just me and the girl. Her friends are also in this scenario. If I do the favor for the girl, then her friends might see me as someone reliable and that might do some good. Is this a wrong way of thinking?[/quote] Through showing this girl a favor your not DHVing her friends. Since they will see you as someone who will do anything for a HB. You would be DLVing yourself to the other girls since they will only see you as a friend who does stuff for me, and not as the guy who they are sleeping with. Now there are exceptions but not in this case. You don't have to be the asshole to get women, but you have to show that you are the prize not the other way around.

Author:	Gangles [ Thu May 19, 2011 7:40 am ]
Post subject:	Just say maybe, see how you go
Make her think that you have more important things to do. Say i have already made plans rah rah rah, if its her birthday and you know where she is heading out then head there later after she has partied a bit. Not so you can take advantage of a drunk girl. But more so she will think he cam here but not with me. wtf. As soon as you make em think thats when they get vulnerable and curious. Your first comment you said about "what makes you think im coming to your party" is probably a bit assholish for my taste, but hey whatever floats your boat. I find that saying things like and in that tone would have to be an answer to something that she has said that could be as equally as blunt. There has to be a reason for everything. I just make it out that i got higher priorities than she does.

Author:	Herne [ Thu May 19, 2011 8:46 pm ]
Post subject:
what i meant was those looking for lifts are needy. when your one of the few in your group of friends that have a decent car, ive found that u can quickly become the regular taxi guy--and to be fair i find male friends more needy than the women in this regard.

Author:	iamclosed [ Fri May 20, 2011 4:53 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Through showing this girl a favor your not DHVing her friends. Since they will see you as someone who will do anything for a HB. You would be DLVing yourself to the other girls since they will only see you as a friend who does stuff for me, and not as the guy who they are sleeping with. Now there are exceptions but not in this case. You don't have to be the asshole to get women, but you have to show that you are the prize not the other way around. So acting nice(in a passive way) is really a bad way and should be dropped when you're gaming? Would the situation change if I presented myself first to take people to the venue? something like: me: hey HB: oh hey me: i'm sure you're having trouble with getting people to the venue being the klutz you are, so i'll help you and take care of some people. lol. Quote: Make her think that you have more important things to do. Say i have already made plans rah rah rah, if its her birthday and you know where she is heading out then head there later after she has partied a bit. Not so you can take advantage of a drunk girl. But more so she will think he cam here but not with me. wtf. As soon as you make em think thats when they get vulnerable and curious. Your first comment you said about "what makes you think im coming to your party" is probably a bit assholish for my taste, but hey whatever floats your boat. I find that saying things like and in that tone would have to be an answer to something that she has said that could be as equally as blunt. There has to be a reason for everything. I just make it out that i got higher priorities than she does. Well the thing is, it's not going to be a party as in party in a club. It's just going to be lunch with her friends in some restaurant and karaoke, as there are minors involved. There maybe alcohol but it's probably going to be in one of her friend's house. Should I just say that I won't take people since I'm going to be late coz something came up at work? Well, given the context I don't think it came off as asshole-ish, I mean the mood was light and all. Quote: what i meant was those looking for lifts are needy. when your one of the few in your group of friends that have a decent car, ive found that u can quickly become the regular taxi guy--and to be fair i find male friends more needy than the women in this regard. Oh. Lol. Then perhaps you could make profit from it and earn free gas money?

Author:	Ziffer [ Fri May 20, 2011 8:42 pm ]
Post subject:
You can be passive nice, but the more you do favors for her the closer you get to the friend zone.You would rather be in the asshole Zone then the guy who I can get to give me rides wouldn't you. The hotter they are the more that they have men doing favors for them. Which is more of the same. You don't want to be just like all the other guys you want to be different whatever it takes. You dont want to be that guy who helped me out. My personal opinion is to not to do favors for a girl that isn't doing anything for you. If shes not fucking u, paying for you or helping you then no need to waste time on her.

Author:	H!j!nx [ Sat May 21, 2011 12:33 am ]
Post subject:
Well, first off, do you really want to do the favor? Put aside the DLV stuff, would you really want to do it? Are her friends going to annoy you while you're driving them to the location? If it's gonna annoy YOU, don't do it. Of course, if you're investing energy and emotions into this girl, you probably want to do it. But you don't wanna look like a pansy. If that's it, all you have to do is reframe. That's one thing I'm learning -- doesn't matter really what the situation is, the FRAME and who controls it is the most important thing. Right now, she controls the frame, and if you agreed to chauffeur, you'd be doing her a favor. Why not trade for it? "My back is really sore today. On a scale from 1-10, I'm around a 4. Tell you what, if you can get me up to a 9.9 I'll see about clearing some space in my schedule to drive your friends to the party." Enjoy -H!j!nx

Author:	iamclosed [ Sun May 22, 2011 7:11 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: You can be passive nice, but the more you do favors for her the closer you get to the friend zone.You would rather be in the asshole Zone then the guy who I can get to give me rides wouldn't you. The hotter they are the more that they have men doing favors for them. Which is more of the same. You don't want to be just like all the other guys you want to be different whatever it takes. You dont want to be that guy who helped me out. My personal opinion is to not to do favors for a girl that isn't doing anything for you. If shes not fucking u, paying for you or helping you then no need to waste time on her. Of course, isn't that one of the main premises of pickup, being different to the other guys that she has seen? It's a little hard taking the thinking of being a nice guy when gaming, I was so used to being like that these past years. But I'm working on it now. Quote: Well, first off, do you really want to do the favor? Put aside the DLV stuff, would you really want to do it? Are her friends going to annoy you while you're driving them to the location? If it's gonna annoy YOU, don't do it. Of course, if you're investing energy and emotions into this girl, you probably want to do it. But you don't wanna look like a pansy. If that's it, all you have to do is reframe. That's one thing I'm learning -- doesn't matter really what the situation is, the FRAME and who controls it is the most important thing. Right now, she controls the frame, and if you agreed to chauffeur, you'd be doing her a favor. Why not trade for it? "My back is really sore today. On a scale from 1-10, I'm around a 4. Tell you what, if you can get me up to a 9.9 I'll see about clearing some space in my schedule to drive your friends to the party." Enjoy -H!j!nx Wow this what I was looking for. +1 for you! I tried just a couple of hours ago: HB: yo yo so are you coming? me: I don't know, am I? HB: ??? okay? me: lol well my schedule says it's all clear but there's still that chance that my manager might make me work. small chance though. haha. HB: ohhhh okay lol, i see, i see. soooo can you drive? LOL :p if you do we'll pay you me: uhhhh, right now i'm feeling kinda shitty, on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being the shittiest, i'd say i'm at 4. if you bring me up to 9.99 i'll consider it xD HB: lol how can i do that? o_O well if you want i can take up some shit right now LOL me: treat me somewhere? :p HB: ....lol oh shiyat. i have to steal money then. okay okay i'll see what i can do me: i'll look forward to that. HB: lol yieahhhh where though? me: the latest pirates movie has been coming to my mind alot lately. lol so i think the result was i managed to get her to do something first for me and in the process get a date also? nice. may i ask which material are you learning that framing thing from?

Author:	H!j!nx [ Mon Aug 08, 2011 4:08 am ]
Post subject:
My bad, iamclosed, super dooper late on this reply. The re-framing stuff comes mostly from Juggler, he's the PUA I gravitate toward the most. I like a free flowing dialogue to vibe with the girl, it works for me. . .sounds like that line worked for you as well. . .hopefully. Bring me up to date, -H!j!nx

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