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| First date. Who Pays? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=91721 |
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| Author: | Technophobe [ Mon May 16, 2011 12:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | First date. Who Pays? |
Theres a chance i may be having a date either this week or next week. I am unsure who would pay. If i pay will it do me more harm than good in terms of ability to attract? If i say go duch for instance, will she be a bit miffed? I am not a PUA as i have no experience in girls. Ive never had either sex or a girlfriend and i am 23! haha. However, having read the game and joined this forum, i sure do like the idea of it. Thankyou Technophobe |
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| Author: | mickeyjackson21 [ Mon May 16, 2011 4:20 pm ] |
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the guy always has to pay on the first date. it's annoying but it's the natural behaviour of courtship. but one doesn't need to spend alot of money on a date in order for it to go great. of course you'll need to get her in a locking position and get her comfortable with a drink. the idea is not directly to get her a drink but to enable you to connect with her and have some playful conversation. then after the drink if the date seems to go well, you can take her somewhere and do something active together e.g. amusement park, video arcades, bowling and my personal favourite - dancing. doing all of these will DHV yourself showing that you are a fun guy and knows to how to have a good time. read some of my notes about attraction and building rapport. enjoy. here are some of my other posts about building attraction and rapport with a girl. one thing you should know is when to tease (push pull technique, negging etc). they should only be used if ur target is a 7.5 or above (or the girls who think they are 7.5 or above whereas in actual fact they are not). if you were to tease a girl below that rating, you would end of hurting and insulting them. in exclaimer for using negging and teasing is that one should positively validate their target before they negatively validate them. the reason to do it in this way is because one must hook their target in order to get their attention. so after the positive validation (for a set who is +7.5) you negatively validate them (tease, push) in order to put yourself at a higher level than them because at the beginning they are higher than you. the main reason why it is good to use negging is to challenge the ego of a girl of high calibre which is something that a typical afc does not do. and by doing this, it shows that u r a man that has high standards and does not go for just any girl and this will make the girl more interested and it will compel her to work harder to gain your approval because you have showed disinterest in her, told her that she does not fit your standards (negative validation). girls always want the guys that is surrounded by women and guys which are difficult to get, its a challenge for women to go after those guys. building rapport is a very interesting process. in order to build a great emotional connection one must choose to talk about things which have deep emotional content. it does not matter what the girl does or likes, you can connect with her even if you have dissimilar interests. as you know all occupations and hobbies are completely different in their complexity, principles and structure, but there is one thing which all of them have in common/share "EMOTIONS". one must be empathetic and show a girl that u understand why she chose to do that job or hobbie by expressing the emotions that one feels when doing that activity, it shows that you're really trying to get to know her, and she will think "wow this is a great guy to talk to, he's making an effort to understand me, but wait, i dont know anything about him" and this will compel her to ask you questions and u can freely express yourself how ever much u want as long as u express urself passionately and positively. all the men dont do this at all and do not understand how much empathy is a powerful force and openly allow themselves to be perceived to see a girl superficially. you can use the concept of 'rapport' to ur advantage as well. in order for you to build greater rapport with her, get used to asking more open-ended questions e.g. "what have you been up to?" or "What did u get up to today?", my one: "What monkey business did u get up to today?". dont use questions like "wats up hun?", thats a closed-ended question which the girl would simply answer and she wont give u much material to work on in order to reach the hook point. and connect on her answers in a positive way. dont be afraid to tease her as well. dont be afraid to create impact. when telling a girl about a situation that happened to u on that day or in the week, give more details about it, women love details. it is also good to read the local news paper, women are usually very aware what happens in the world, u should as well. u can get her point of view on something in the news (nothing to do with which celebrity had sex with who) e.g. political, environmental, sociological etc and then she would ask you what u think and you can manipulate the conversation which can lead anywhere u want. another way u can have an "endless conversation" is the principle of "Question, statement, Question, statement, Q, S, Q, S etc". so u ask an open question, receive the answer, and then make a statement about the last thing she said in order to ask a deeper question. this process can go round in a circle, it can go on for ages. after you have the girl attracted to you and built rapport, here's how to make sure that you can get a definite number close and afterwards ensure a date in the future. the way to ask a girl out is by 'offering' not asking permission, never ask "Do you want to go out tonight?" or "will you go out with me?" or "so what time are you free tomorrow?". They are all questions which AFCs do. they make a guy sound needy, desperate, dependent on doing something with her. so before offering a date, let her know how busy and sociable you are. girls want guys who are difficult to get. usually in rapport with girls, to make sure she does not flake on u after the first meeting, there's a pua principle called 'seeding'. this is when u in plant an invitation in the conversation with her but u havent actually invited her. for example, you could say that "im thinking of going to this really cool bar sometime next week which i heard about". now usually when a guy mentions to a girl about going to a bar, club or party that u know, the girl will always expects the guy to automatically invite her. but what you would do is just to mention the party or the bar and continue on the conversation. this will catch the girl off guard and the girl will be thinking "hey, this guy is pretty cool (depending on the attraction and rapport), but he has just mentioned this party but why is he not asking me out?". she will think this and will be more compelled and desperate for you to ask her and she realises that she needs to work in order to get the invitation. women want to go to things that are hard to get into, exclusive and even more if they are told they cant go. people always want to go to things when they have been told they cant go. sounds so forbiden and interesting. dont be in the position to be waiting for a girl to call you, women are lazy or busy but definitely unreliable. you make the contact. but when u contact, dont sound like you are too eager to see her, bad sign to show that ur desperate. in between texting a girl, act like u dont care if she ever replies back. i know it sounds crazy, but it does not feel good waiting, checking ur phone every so often seeing if the girl replies. have the frame of mind that u dont care about a reply, then u will feel less anxious, and more focused on ur game. Hope that i have helped. happy gaming dude |
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| Author: | anthonypham [ Mon May 16, 2011 8:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Split the bills |
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| Author: | mixlarryd [ Mon May 16, 2011 9:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Split the bills
No way! man devinitively should pay and especially on the first date |
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| Author: | Technophobe [ Mon May 16, 2011 11:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks guys, some interesting replies. I know it will show you are generous, but will it also show that you are a weak person, thus loosing their attraction? Some PUA's say dont pay and some say do. I personally dont have a problem with paying but i wouldnt want it to do more harm than good. |
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| Author: | ik tutan [ Tue May 17, 2011 3:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
The question of whether to pay or not is an interesting one. It is traditional for guys to pay on the first date, but that could be seen as being AFC. A PUA is supposed to be the exception to every rule. Many will say do not pay because by paying on the first date you are stating that she won't have to pay for anything as long as you two go out together. Another argument is that you dont pay for for your friends so why should she be any different. It is all a personal choice, there is no wrong thing to do, if you have the money by all means go for it. Just watch out you don't get stuck in a trap where you are trying to buy her love. |
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| Author: | DJ_Z [ Tue May 17, 2011 3:58 am ] |
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My opinion? Pay if you asked for the date, offer to pay and at least go dutch if she asked for the date. If the cost gets split up, it gets easier. last date of mine, for instance, I paid for the cab to and from the restaurant but since she offered to pay we settled for splitting the bill on food and drinks. This is only for the first date, if you know she isn't just into you for money then it isn't that big a deal to pay. |
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