This is the first post where I have put my own opinion forward.
What you think to be confident behavior can end up getting you a somewhat bad reception among not only females, but around the majority of the people you are dealing with.
Note, this doesnt apply to everybody who thinks they are "being confident", but those who probably unknowingly took that advice the wrong way, just like me.
Now im not saying my behavior RUINED my reputation at first, in fact my luck with women did seem to improve. However a large number of people I was associating with, although they still liked me, started viewing me as slightly difficult to get along with.
This whole process went over months.
WHAT I WAS DOING INITIALLY (poor results in terms of how i was perceived):
-Although I did indeed actually feel confident, I put too much energy into portraying it.
-For example, I would act disinterested if someone was telling me a boring story. "My time isnt worth this" and if someone were to behave childishly or awkwardly Id ignore them.
-Id be more harsh in rejecting people. They werent worth my time anyway
-Purposely (but not obviously) lead groups of people, like those in my group projects at university simply to appear a "Leader"
-Be extra competitive at pretty much anything
this is only a little bit of how I was interacting with others.
They are subtle signs of arrogance, and although they overall show that you seem in control, they have the negative effects of making you look like youre a massive douche.
What I have learnt pretty much is that all you really need to do to convert "arrogance" into "confidence", is still focus on being a nice person all while conveying these sorts of behaviors.
You still get to have presence, but are looked up to more and seem genuinely "good".
My problem was that because all through high school I was the "nice guy" to girls, I felt that by being confident I had to change the "nice" attitude and be partially stand offish.
This post is not to really educate anybody, as Im sure this is obvious stuff to most of you. Rather it should help anyone who was in my sort of position, if there is actually anyone in that position and I wasnt the only person haha
Also, Id like input!
Ie, How would YOU guys behave confidently while still being well-liked? Provide some examples
