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So..... What to do?
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Author:  urbancannuck [ Fri May 06, 2011 10:27 pm ]
Post subject:  So..... What to do?
I've been trolling these forums for quite awhile and learned a lot from everyone on here. So thank you all for that.

I've been dating this girl for a over month now.. She works all kinds of crazy shifts. So I see her whenever I get a chance. In the beginning I could tell she was really into me. Texted and called me all the time. She has slept over a few times and it has been a sexual relationship. This last week things have changed, haven't heard from her much and when I do its pretty short, even her text messages that used to be long are now one to two words. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that she is losing interest. Its either something I did or her crazy work schedule is making it difficult to have a relationship. Could also be a combo of both. I have no clue whats going on in her head. She hasn't said anything.

Here's my question and my first post =)

Do I confront her about it. Ask her what has changed and if she is losing interest or Do I just ignore it, fill my time with other things and let her come around when she wants to?!
Author:  Infamous110 [ Sat May 07, 2011 12:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: So..... What to do?
The only thing you said that might cause that is
Quote:
I see her whenever I get a chance
A snap judgement from the fact that you're new is that you have probably been too available. Although. It's been a week, you've known her a month. Math dictates that one of those weeks she will be acting stupid.

You could call her out on it but I would say your best bet is indifference. Don't wait around on her, it's not like she has to tell you where she is. Becoming a wuss over it will definitely make things worse.
Author:  urbancannuck [ Wed May 11, 2011 11:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
After 4 days of not talking she finally called me.. After a short polite conversation I cut the conversation short. Told her I had company coming over. Yesterday sent me text.. This is how the text went.

Her: How are you today?

Me: Hey punk. I'm fantastic. How did your interview go?

Her: It went well thanks :)

Me: There's this cute girl I used to hang around with. She was pretty fun, then things got all weird. Any suggestions on getting her to hangout again? I won't tell her you told me

Her: Hmmmm. I think she'll come around! I suggest patience. She misses hanging with you.

Me: What do you think happened that caused her to get all distant?

Her: Ummmmm... I'm sure she'll tell u sometime... ;)

Me: Its to bad she can't be honest and talk to me about it. Pretty understanding guy.

Her: She probably will.

Me. Thanks for chat, but I have run.. ttyl

Her: Bye bye

I'm extremely annoyed. I want to walk away, but I'm so bloody curious as to whats going on with her... Any suggestions on how to play this?
Author:  Solteris [ Thu May 12, 2011 2:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Being emotionally reactive is one of the quickest ways to lose a chick only trumped by clinginess. Cut this out right now. You see the response you got when you put HER on ice?
Author:  urbancannuck [ Thu May 12, 2011 2:32 am ]
Post subject: 
So say nothing do nothing?!
Author:  Solteris [ Thu May 12, 2011 2:48 am ]
Post subject: 
You just need to calm your shit down first of all. If you two are legitimately dating, 4 days without hearing from her is a sign I wont lie. You could be upfront, you know like a man, and find out whats wrong. Taking some time off and breaking contact for a few days may even do you some good.

Understand this, there is no quick fix for this. If she's like this after only a month then it's probably a good idea to take a breather and let yourself cool down before you fuck it up beyond repair. Enough of that passive aggressive business either. You should have asked what was really up. Not just women but people in general respect a person that grabs the bull by the horns like a fucking He-Man and gets to the bottom of shit.

My advice: Take a little time off. You seem to be WAY too stressed out about this. Come back in a week and bump this thread and update us.
Author:  urbancannuck [ Thu May 12, 2011 4:14 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm more curious then stressed out.. Didn't realize I was being passive aggressive. Never been in this situation before. Just wanted some advice is all...
Author:  andd95 [ Thu May 12, 2011 5:06 am ]
Post subject: 
my usual rule of thumb, sleep with a girl get to know her and what have you.. THEN catch feelings for her... it saves both parties a bunch of trouble.
Author:  urbancannuck [ Thu May 12, 2011 5:58 am ]
Post subject: 
I did sleep with her.........
Author:  T-Bones [ Thu May 12, 2011 6:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Terrible texting game. You are killing yourself. You would have to be a complete ditz not to see through what you texted her. You just made yourself look like a needy beta male pussy.

Until I get about ten dates in and the girl is being consistent with agreeing to those dates, not making excuses etc., and you're kissing/having sex with her then I don't count anything. Four days of no contact is nothing. You're rushing things because your interest level is off the charts. Take things slow. Spoon feed her.

You should have gone with ignoring it and filling your time with other things like you said and getting more phone numbers. Instead, you're in the beginning stages and already starting to get dramatic. Do the opposite of what your instincts tell you to do. That one rule can make or break you with women.
Author:  urbancannuck [ Thu May 12, 2011 6:43 am ]
Post subject: 
I dated this girl for over a month and before that we knew each other for about 3 weeks.. So all together 60+ days... Definitely been on well over 10 dates.. Four days of no contact is just extremely odd for this girl..
Author:  T-Bones [ Thu May 12, 2011 6:53 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I dated this girl for over a month and before that we knew each other for about 3 weeks.. So all together 60+ days... Definitely been on well over 10 dates.. Four days of no contact is just extremely odd for this girl..
Her interest might be waning. It can definitely be raised by putting her on ice and playing it cool. Being a challenge is the name of the game. It feels counter-intuitive. For some (especially if you're getting laid) doing things like that is hard, but it works.
Author:  urbancannuck [ Thu May 12, 2011 7:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Lack of sex doesn't bother me.. I can always go get it some where else.. Its the curiosity, the not knowing.. The always wanting to be in control of a situation and clearly I am not in this one.
Author:  T-Bones [ Thu May 12, 2011 7:22 am ]
Post subject: 
If it's one thing you need to forget it's wondering why women do the things they do. She knows she's sucked you in. This is what she wants. She wants you curious and clearly she has you there. Now, because of your text she knows she's got you thinking. You're SPAM power and mystery. Again, be cool.

If you want to have some semblance of control stop texting stuff like you did.
Author:  urbancannuck [ Thu May 12, 2011 7:36 am ]
Post subject: 
You guys definitely won't have to lose any sleep wondering if silly urbancannuck turned into a total needy beta male pussy. I won't be doing that again. haha
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