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I dont get it. HOW did i get friend-zoned?
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Author:  Century100 [ Mon May 02, 2011 11:14 am ]
Post subject:  I dont get it. HOW did i get friend-zoned?
Worst possible case scenario of friend zone. How the hell does that happen when i hardly behaved in a way characteristic of an AFC (aka, me a few months ago)

OK so heres the thing, i met this girl at uni 2 months ago.
I wasnt interested, so i had her as a good friend.
I wouldnt give her too much attention, and id be cocky funny a lot.
I didnt help her out with any "problems", liek when she broke up with her bf, and i didnt help her with work or suck up to her in any way.

Because i wasnt interested, i didnt escalate with kino. I touched her a lot, like around the waist, going in for hugs while looking at her in the eyes the same way i would a girl i was interested in, and was confident and slightly sexual (Like i pinned her up against a wall and went close to kissing her, then backed away)
But i didnt try kiss her or anything. Because i wasnt IN to her.

Now, i find her more attractive, and id like to get closer.
However, despite my efforts to not be her bitch friend, ive noticed im in the friend zone BIG time, because she tells me literally every day "Aww if i had a little brother, id bully him. Wish you were my little brother" and stuff along those lines.

(no, im not smaller than her. Im skinny, but obviously bigger p hysically than her and taller)

So, its almost as if she TRIES to show me that im in the friend zone. Every day.
I dont get why? How did i get into this situation?
Will this always happen if i make friends with a girl who im not initially interested in enough to kiss?

The fact that i know i cant have her is driving me nuts. I mean, she finds me funny and confident and such, but i dont think sexually attractive, based on her crap comments.

When she tells me the friend-zone comments I brush them off by saying something like "haha, shame im not your little brother then huh" or whatever.

Thanks guys
Author:  JuanAntonioB [ Mon May 02, 2011 12:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
your reply to her comments should be more like "thats disgusting. would you like your little brother shagging you twice a day?"

IMO you fucked up at the beginning.
if you werent into her, why the fuck were you doing cocky funny and stupid gay other shit like almost kissing her etc etc.

sounds like you were into her since day 1 but tried som reverse psychology bullshit on yoruself that didnt work.

i see it more and more, the #1 problem guys have is that they simply fuck things up for themselves without realising that girls are just silly little sexual beings and need to be dominated and lead from day 1.

your "brushing off" comments probably only confirming to her that shes above you, calling you her little brother and you putting up with it... horrible dynamic youve got going
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Mon May 02, 2011 12:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Give her some space and time to miss you.

Come back on the scene looking and acting a bit different (new haircut or clothes maybe?)

Talk about other girls you're seeing, have her see you talking to other women and being very sexual, e.g. at a club.

Use more sexual innuendo.

My post here may help you: how-to-get-out-of-the-friendzone-vt89597.html
Author:  kasabi [ Mon May 02, 2011 2:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
She hasn't 'friendzoned' you. I doubt that this is a preemptive move to ward off possible advancements as a 'friendzone' doesn't involve DAILY reminders and you haven't even made a move yet. A real request for "Let's just be friends" is just as awkward for the girl as it is frustrating for the guy. A girl will typically clear the air, set things straight, and will look forward to NEVER BRINGING up the topic again.

More likely, what she's doing is 'feeling' for where the hell this is going. You already played the aloof card. Better to go out, have a few cocktails, dance, and make out with her. Play the 'disappearing' game and she'll know exactly where you stand, which is: "Mr. Not Interested who only wanted to fuck her but now that she's brought up a few signs that she might take away her the V card, you don't even want to be her friend . . .

Grab some balls and go with what's right.
Author:  Infamous110 [ Mon May 02, 2011 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I dont get it. HOW did i get friend-zoned?
I've condensed your post.
Quote:
I wasnt interested, so i had her as a good friend.
Quote:
Because i wasnt interested, i didnt escalate
Quote:
I dont get why? How did i get into this situation?
Author:  TheBison [ Tue May 03, 2011 6:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I dont get it. HOW did i get friend-zoned?
[quote="Infamous110"]I've condensed your post.

[quote="Century100"]
I wasnt interested, so i had her as a good friend.
[/quote]
[quote="Century100"]
Because i wasnt interested, i didnt escalate
[/quote]
[quote="Century100"]
I dont get why? How did i get into this situation?
[/quote][/quote]


Hahaha this is great and true. But you can redeem yourself. I didn't think it was possible but I am friends with a girl I tried to hook up with but it didn't work out and she was practically throwing herself at me (I passed because it was too weird she has a boyfriend and I pretty much think of her as a friend) a few weeks ago.

All i did was just be an amazing person, and being fun and flirty. Also apparently being a great friend is a good attraction builder. And she still flirts with me once in awhile which I am fine with.

I just don't understand why you guys can't just accept girls as close friends and move onto better women. Its an amazing thing and a great way to get insight into how girls think.
Author:  dj_Cipher [ Tue May 03, 2011 6:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Most comments are good. You really did fuck this up off the rip, but her saying the little brother comments are a PERFECT wall-cracker. "blah blah blah litle brother blah blah blah" "its a good thing im NOT your little brother..." Either she says "what do you mean" or "oh really?" either way thats your cue to setup something mre intimate: movie (at the house) dancing/drinks, etc. Go with whats easier for you. Actually, from the sound of it, skip the movie thing. I doubt you have the esolve to escalate in that scenario. Tell her you guys are going out, and to tell her rommates not to wait up cause youll be late. She can take that the way you want it to be taken, as in, youre staying with me, or she can take that as "oh, hes really got something planned". Either way youre good. Post up your results.
Author:  dj_Cipher [ Tue May 03, 2011 7:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I dont get it. HOW did i get friend-zoned?
Quote:
I just don't understand why you guys can't just accept girls as close friends and move onto better women. Its an amazing thing and a great way to get insight into how girls think.

So so true. Having a cadre of female friends not only shows value but also lets you get into their heads. 2 out of my 3 best friends are chicks, one even pivots for me on occasion, and ALWAYS lets me bounce things off her. Outside of my close friends are many females I hang with and be a friend to. Im extremely funny when im not trying to get anywhere with girls because its NATURAL. This makes them laugh and smile and have a great time. They talk about guys and fucking around me like it was the normal thing for girls to do (as in, talk openly around guys about how fucking horny they are). This is priceless. And Ive also been recommended to friends of some of the chicks I hang out with. And when their friends talk about how good the sex was, it makes others just green with envy. Just dont fuck ALL of the girls they point out, or suggest, or say that think youre cute, you dont want to "bite the hand that feeds" so to speak. Save that for your inner circle fo friends (like my best friend/pivot)
Author:  Grand Master [ Sun May 15, 2011 2:46 am ]
Post subject: 
To the OP: Check out the posts by kasabi in this thread 1-vt58252.html?
Author:  quickquestion [ Tue May 17, 2011 4:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
i wouldn't think being in the friendzone would require reminders at all actually.

We do the same thing to them, dont we? the "Im your daddy" line...
Author:  Century100 [ Wed May 18, 2011 12:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Woah that post was really cool, ill try and post results :)

And yeah im pretty sure im in the friend zone. Not in the "Gay best friend" sort, but in the "brother" sort, because from what she says she believes in my ability to pick up other women (im not really that good, but i was lucky this one night we went out and picked up in front of her). Both are just as bad as each other anyway I spose haha

But i know im in the friend zone cos she doesnt react positively when I touch her. Shell laugh in a "Stop it!" kind of way, but she wont touch flirt back.
Author:  quickquestion [ Wed May 18, 2011 3:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
i was out with a girl yesterday and we keep joking all the time, i neg her about her small ass sayng that I like it when there is more to love (when actually i LOVE her tight small bum) and we talk about other people like "oh check that girl out, she has a nice ass she will look good with you" and im like "check out this guy, he seems perfect for you (some 70 year old guy)" and we joke like that but I can feel she is jelous and gets annoyed....
so my point is.. talking about potential other partners does not always mean she sees you like a brother
Author:  Leothlon [ Wed May 18, 2011 4:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I dont get it. HOW did i get friend-zoned?
Quote:
The fact that i know i cant have her is driving me nuts.
you considered this is what she wants you to feel? every girl on the planet knows the "guys are only after the chase so they wont go for girls that seems interested" saying... so you say its almost like if she wants you to know your in the friendzone, it can be likly that she is just trying to act not interested so you will chase her right?

but not escalating kino early on is something i personally over and over experienced is a sure way to drop into the friendzone really fast...

now i'm new here and also rather new to the community so keep that in mind when reading what i wrote :) just take it as thoughts that might be worth thinking and not a sure thing statement :D
Author:  Tiger6Niner [ Wed May 18, 2011 8:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
You said you had her as a "good friend" but didnt help her out with any "problems". Correct me if I'm wrong, but isnt that what friends are for? Now suddenly her mermaid timer has run out and shes not falling for you. Could the way you treated her at the start be part of the reason why she is treating you the way she does now? Try and see it from her perspective which I guess would be along the lines of "If he wasnt there for me as a friend, he probably wont be there for me as a BF".
Author:  Century100 [ Thu May 19, 2011 12:31 am ]
Post subject: 
Alright! those are good thoughts indeed muchacho :D
Dont worry about being new, btw, I also consider myself relatively "new" based on my average skills at seduction haha

Ohh no no not that I treated her badly, by that I meant I wouldnt break my ass trying to help her with homework to please her or anything. She was really upset one particular day so I comforted her, tried to cheer her up etc.

Another thing worth noting about not escalating, is that when I met her, I had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend. So thats probably why I was not interested/did not escalate. Dont know if this helps "Justify" in her mind why I didnt kino as much..
I mean realistically, I kinoed a lot more than any other guy at university, but not as much as I traditionally would If i was trying to really build up sexual tension.
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