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Breaking up with her before she breaks up with me
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Author:  Sundog [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 10:45 am ]
Post subject:  Breaking up with her before she breaks up with me
I was dating a girl for ~2 months, but started being needy and beta and she's lost interest. She's told her friend she doesn't love me anymore and that this doesn't make sense, but she's never told it to me. Now she's been avoiding me for about a week. (She's 17 so I wouldn't call her decisive, and I doubt that she fully realises what she's saying)

Of course I'm moving on and I'm gonna ignore her. But what do you guys think about sending her a polite message that I "break up" with her, before starting to ignore her?

After this period of her dominance could this catch her so off balance that she might start regretting and missing me, so that she reinitiates the contact?

(And before you tell me that I should game other girls instead - I will! But there's nothing wrong with doing both things)
Author:  Tiger6Niner [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:08 am ]
Post subject: 
meet up and discuss breaking up. breaking up via text is not the way to do it
Author:  Flex007 [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:20 am ]
Post subject: 
Get into pick up and focus on other girls, if you do that you will lose your neediness you will have power and keep them attracted.

If you try and break up with her first she may think your being childish, don't ignor just act like you don't care too much.
Author:  JOHNNYBOY29 [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:22 am ]
Post subject: 
It aint a competition to see who breaks up with who first - what is it? a pride thing? Only weak people try to cover up with pride.

Talk about it. The same way you dont ask a girl out via text you dont end something via text and you certainly dont try to end something without talking. I appreciate and acknowledge that at your ages you guys are fleeting in yoru approach to starting and ending something but come on no need to be fleeting.

I would ask to meet up and talk over coffee or a drink.
Author:  Sundog [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:27 am ]
Post subject: 
But my true question is: can it change her mind?
Author:  JOHNNYBOY29 [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
But my true question is: can it change her mind?
oh that I dont know, im not exactly a PUA. Do you want to continue being with her? if so, then talk things through. That is the mature thing, although by the same token some may call it an AFC thing, to do.
Author:  Sundog [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
If you try and break up with her first she may think your being childish, don't ignor just act like you don't care too much.
I think not caring too much makes a lot of sense.

But I have this crazy idea because I know that she's been wondering whether she still wants to carry on with this etc. so she feels she's got control and if I did it she would totally lose it!
Author:  Tiger6Niner [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 9:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
But my true question is: can it change her mind?
It doesnt matter if it changes her mind. She'd be dating you because you threatened to dump her and move on and thats not a good reason to date someone.
Author:  Flex007 [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 10:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
.so she feels she's got control and if I did it she would totally lose it!
She might be surprised if you finish it first, even if it does create some interest, I don't think it will be enough,

The best way to get control and power in this area of your life is to learn inner and outer game.
Author:  jaminv [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think the reality is: she's not going to regret what she lost until she sees someone else being happy with you.

You could try flirting openly with other women in front of her, that might work. Chances are though, you're just beating a dead horse.

Is she really that special? If she's only 17, there's almost no chance you'd end up marrying her, and if you did it would almost certainly end badly. I think the best thing for you would be to play the field. But be a man about it. Break up with her to her face and then move on.

Imagine how she'd feel if you bought yourself some new clothes, did some stuff for yourself (maybe joined the gym), and then started flirting with/dating other women. I'm sure she'd eat her heart out, even if she's already dating someone else. At that age, there's a good chance she'd actually come running back at that point... but DO NOT FALL FOR THAT TRAP. When you move on, really move on. Don't move on because you think she'll come back as a result. For one, she'll see right through it. Second, it's not what right for you. Respect yourself. Everything else will come.
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