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Can someone give me some pointers on how to become confident
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Author:  natedizzle [ Thu Apr 21, 2011 6:06 am ]
Post subject:  Can someone give me some pointers on how to become confident
I live in a small town and growing up I've been shy and took a lot of shit from people, it could have been way more if they didn't know I have two brothers over 6 foot. Anyway they still think of me as a shy insecure loser, at least in my head they do because I never talked and looked for their approval way to much. I'm having a party and they are going to be their and I don't want to just stand thir and not talk to anyone because I will be spotted as the loner, it's at my house but mostly everyone is my brother and sisters friends. I always get cut out of the convo because I feel unimportant and we don't have much in common, so what I'm asking is how do you engage in conversation when you feel insecure spotted out and a fake loser?
Author:  DIAMONDS J001 [ Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:02 am ]
Post subject:  hi man,
Hey man, I understand what you mean, this is how I felt growing up which is why i took action to get more general confidence. I´m here now to get my last hurdle jumped which is confidence with women.

Well tips on confidence , I am no expert but I have read a fair few books and can give you a reading list. This is a long term cpmmitment you wont be ready for your party. But, that being said, for your brother´s party go out of your comfort zone. Talk to people, it is your house they arn´t going to be rude to you because it´s where you live and they are the guests.

One thing that helped me was to imagine the world is only in your head. What i mean by that is the whole world or universe or whatever is only as big as your current sense of perception. So think of people outside your line of sight and beyond hearing distance as simply not existing at that time. This helps because it allows me to see, say and do things i would not normally and to think "fuck it...in a few hours they will be out of my reality so who cares what happens or what they think of me!" So don´t worry about feeling like a loser, you are in your world :)

Anyhoo like I said I am no expert, but I was bullied in school for a time and a loner, I have striven to improve and have done immensely, so I think that although I am not warrented to give full advice, I believe I can give you a very helpful reading list that would if you are committed really help you develop confidence.

Psycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz M.D., F.I.C.S.
ISBN 0-671-70075-8

Instant Confidence: The Powe to go fo Anything You Want! Paul McKenna
ISBN 978-0-593-05535-9

Change Your Life in Seven Days, Paul McKenna
ISBN 0-593-05055-x

Asshole: How I got rich and happy by not giving a s*** about you! Martin Kihn
ISBN: 978-0-141-03105-7

The Secret, Rhonda Byrne
ISBN: 978-1-8473-7029-7

The Rules of the Game, Neil Strauss
ISBN 978-1-84767-252-0


Hope you have a good time at your party.
Author:  EddieFews [ Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Fuck all that instant shit ^^ instant food is never really as good as food that's actually prepared.

Now for the meat an potatoes: confidence is not something that just comes over night. It takes time and expirence to gain confident. Most of the rock stars today were shy insecure people in grade school.

I'm unsure what it is your looking for because they'res no magic pill to swallow to become confident by the party however if you want it bad enough you will get it.

Start by forcing yourself into conversations even wen it feels uncomfterable. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Find what it is about you that makes you special.
Author:  VoxPotentia [ Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Talk to hot girls and women in general.

Work out. Get some weights and just go for it.

Get some money together and buy a lot of new clothes. New clothes is one of the things which fuels my confidence. Experiment with various fashions too.

It's taken me a long, long time to gain confidence. Too long in fact but when you get it it's gold and a lot of things follow. It's not instant and no books can help you. It has to be your process and evolution.
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Start by forcing yourself into conversations even wen it feels uncomfortable.
This.

Every day people walk around, so bloody petrified about what people think of them. Their ego - the part of their psyche that deals with other's perception of themselves, is so big and fragile, that they protect themselves by NOT talking, and by NOT taking action, rather than risk the possibility of being rejected or failing.

FUCK THAT.

The ONLY way to learn and to progress is to DO and FAIL and try again. No comedian sits down and writes the perfect routine based on some theoretical principles about what's funny, and then goes and performs it perfectly the first time. They write some ideas, they go out, and 90% of their material BOMBS. The bad ones take that to heart, and get upset and get angry at the audience or quit. The good ones keep working and cut the bad stuff and expand the good stuff. The REALLY good ones make jokes about how bad the shitty stuff bombed, and make laughs out of failure!

Why? Because they're SO COMFORTABLE with the awkwardness, that nothing affects them! They literally don't care what you think! And there's no insult, no funny quip, no AMOG tactic that's gonna make them suddenly go all quiet, apologise for themselves, or give up.

The only way to get that way, is to push yourself into really uncomfortable situations, and revel in your own self-amusement and LOVE awkwardness for the hilarity of it.

A social situation is just people talking. Nothing HAPPENS if your joke is inappropriate, or you slip and fall, or you forget someone's name. The police don't get called when someone plays a silly prank on a shopkeeper.

People are going around very bored with their lives. Nothing that exciting happens. BE the excitement, create that energy, and do it authentically because YOU enjoy it, regardless of what anyone else thinks. Paradoxically, having the attitude of NOT caring what others think, has the effect of making people magnetically attracted to you.

The people having their own fun in the club always attract people who want to be part of it. The people at the dinner party having the really animated conversation always have people butting in wanting to hear the story. The guy with the successful business who built it his own way with his own rules, always has investors lining up to get a piece of it and learn his secrets for how to achieve it. The person with the totally unique fashion sense or musical style creates a buzz around them and has hordes of fans and people copying what they do. Do you think those people are looking around wondering what everyone else thinks of them? Or worried if they might offend someone? Or giving the slightest shit whether someone might take what they say or do the wrong way? FUCK NO.

Go out there, and create social awkwardness and revel in it. Order a Big Mac at Burger King, ask people directions with your finger up your nose, then try and shake their hand, go up to girls and ask them to marry you! It's all harmless, and it helps 90% of our clients release themselves from their social anxiety and go out there and have fun!
Author:  natedizzle [ Fri Apr 22, 2011 4:56 am ]
Post subject: 
ryan oceros - thanks man, straight to the point and helped me realize some shit, and thanks to everyone who posted to
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