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Being needy, suffering from oneitis, and needing your help!?
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Author:  Bodega [ Mon Apr 18, 2011 10:34 am ]
Post subject:  Being needy, suffering from oneitis, and needing your help!?
Hi guys, I know i've been posting a few problems on here recently, but this is my main problem and it's eating me alive ffs.

I split up with my ex about 3 months about and decided to go on a dating site, just for a bit of a laugh. Anyway, this cute girl messaged me, and we got talking.. i knew straight away that she thought I was a fun guy, so I got her number, and started texting her a fair bit. It was going well.

After 6 days of texting her, we met up in her home town (which is admittedly about 60 miles away from me).. it went well, I k-closed her, and we kept in touch. I then added her on facebook, and was suprised that she didn't have that many facebook friends.. however, those that she did have, were mainly guys! She claimed that she just gets on with guys better than girls, which i can sooort of understand. (however in the back of my head, I know that 90% of guys who talk to girls blatantly want them in bed)

So yeah.. we see each other a few more times, making out a lot, holding hands etc.. and we claim we're 'seeing each other', but because of the distance, we'll see how it goes. We see each other once a week for a few weeks.

Then a few weeks back she stayed at mine, I f-closed her quite a few times. I then went down to see her last week and she gave me a blowjob in my car. (I apoligise for the details, but yeah, just trying to help you get the scenerio..)

She was meant to be coming up to my house on Saturday night, but by the time she finished work (she didnt know she was working so late), she wouldnt of got here until like midnight. Me, being me, and being a bit attached, had a bit of a go at her saying that she would of came if she wanted to put the effort in, she claimed it had nothing to do with effort, and time wise it just seemed quite pointless. I think she's right, but I'm an idiot.

So yeah. We used to talk on the phone most nights, now, we don't. We used to text all the time, now she rarely texts me..

I said i'm sorry if i came across as needy, but she's always said that she doesn't like boys who 'treat um mean, keep um kean', and she prefers caring lads who are soppy. So i don't know what to make of it all.

I can usually read girls, this one im struggling with. The fact she has so many guy mates makes me uneasy.

Yes it's one-itis, and yes I need to start dating other girls, and i'm hoping to put that right soon.. but how do I play this!? I really like her.

x

EDIT - ironically, she text me straight after I posted this! still, help please! :)
Author:  Rethnu [ Mon Apr 18, 2011 11:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Being needy, suffering from oneitis, and needing your help!?
Quote:
Hi guys, I know i've been posting a few problems on here recently, but this is my main problem and it's eating me alive ffs.

I split up with my ex about 3 months about and decided to go on a dating site, just for a bit of a laugh. Anyway, this cute girl messaged me, and we got talking.. i knew straight away that she thought I was a fun guy, so I got her number, and started texting her a fair bit. It was going well.

After 6 days of texting her, we met up in her home town (which is admittedly about 60 miles away from me).. it went well, I k-closed her, and we kept in touch. I then added her on facebook, and was suprised that she didn't have that many facebook friends.. however, those that she did have, were mainly guys! She claimed that she just gets on with guys better than girls, which i can sooort of understand. (however in the back of my head, I know that 90% of guys who talk to girls blatantly want them in bed)

So yeah.. we see each other a few more times, making out a lot, holding hands etc.. and we claim we're 'seeing each other', but because of the distance, we'll see how it goes. We see each other once a week for a few weeks.

Then a few weeks back she stayed at mine, I f-closed her quite a few times. I then went down to see her last week and she gave me a blowjob in my car. (I apoligise for the details, but yeah, just trying to help you get the scenerio..)

She was meant to be coming up to my house on Saturday night, but by the time she finished work (she didnt know she was working so late), she wouldnt of got here until like midnight. Me, being me, and being a bit attached, had a bit of a go at her saying that she would of came if she wanted to put the effort in, she claimed it had nothing to do with effort, and time wise it just seemed quite pointless. I think she's right, but I'm an idiot.

So yeah. We used to talk on the phone most nights, now, we don't. We used to text all the time, now she rarely texts me..

I said i'm sorry if i came across as needy, but she's always said that she doesn't like boys who 'treat um mean, keep um kean', and she prefers caring lads who are soppy. So i don't know what to make of it all.

I can usually read girls, this one im struggling with. The fact she has so many guy mates makes me uneasy.

Yes it's one-itis, and yes I need to start dating other girls, and i'm hoping to put that right soon.. but how do I play this!? I really like her.

x

EDIT - ironically, she text me straight after I posted this! still, help please! :)
Being soppy is something completely different from being needy.

Neediness comes from deep inside, most of the time it's a buried lack of self confidence, and you NEED the other person to cure that lack of self-confidence.

Dating other girls is a "trick" to overcome your neediness, then you'd simply spread your neediness across a few girls.
But a real cure for your neediness would be if you'd find the weak spots in your personality and work on them, that would be the best long-term solution :)
Author:  Bodega [ Mon Apr 18, 2011 2:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
I suppose you're right. I've been messed around a lot in the past, cheated on etc etc, admittedly i'm not an angel myself, but I like a bit of self-confidence when it comes to girls that I REALLY like. I can easily sleep with someone when it means nothing.

I've basically said to her that if you're seeing other guys tell me, cause you aren't treating me like a mug.
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