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"I'm busy working" excuse
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Author:  Heffty [ Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:29 am ]
Post subject:  "I'm busy working" excuse
Met a girl at a pub on a saturday night while listening to a band I knew playing there. She winked at me and I went to chat with her. It went well, chatted for about 10mins, lot's of laughing, was really easy to talk with her. I got her number. She's a model.

Texted her on Monday asking if she wanted to go for a drink Tuesday. She said yes, we met up. We sat next to each other. Again, conversation was easy, lot's of joking and laughing. Guys were actually attempting to hit on her while I was sitting right there. She acted unimpressed...some of the guys were pretty pathetic actually.
At the time she said she had an event on the weekend and would be very busy but wanted me to stay in touch. I texted her before the weekend asking if she was still busy, she said yes and that she would text me on the weekend. She did. I texted her this afternoon to see if she wants to hang out again this week some time. She said she is super busy this week and said she might be a workaholic.

How do I get around this and get to see her again?
Author:  Keksman [ Tue Apr 12, 2011 3:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Option 1, freeze her out. She may actually be really busy and not get back to you. But in that case, your alternative is to seem desperate if you keep getting shut down. If she has some time, and you've made an impression, she'll get back to you as long as you haven't come across as too needy or available.

Option 2, give her an ultimatum on a weekend night. "My last effort before giving up on you..." Gotta hit that sweet spot between not asking too early (you're planning too much and sacrificing prime time to hang with her) and not asking too late (she's already planned things with friends).

By way of disclaimer, I've only used this on girls I'd already FCed, so the likelihood of them coming back was higher that it would be in your situation. But I think the concept applied nevertheless.
Author:  andd95 [ Tue Apr 12, 2011 3:21 am ]
Post subject: 
I think if you are choosing between the two the first option seems like the best. She does seem interested in you more so than the other guys. Has actually kept in contact with you when she said she would. Pending on what type of model she is, she COULD actually just be that busy during this time.

She hasn't fallen off on you and not responded so i may be hesitant to freeze her out for a bit. I would definitely not hound her about hanging out though, if you feel you must text her ask her how work is going and if she is free anytime.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:32 am ]
Post subject: 
No one is too busy to put a smiley in a text. Period. If it feels funny, it IS funny.
Author:  jurupa [ Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:33 am ]
Post subject: 
Instead of bugging her so much, just text her saying for her to let you know when she is free or can meet up and leave it at that. If she is into you or interested enough she will let you know. As a last ditch effort if you have not heard from her for a month (meaning 3 weeks) send her a text seeing whats up and text with her again and work to meeting with her.
Author:  andd95 [ Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
lol "bitches love smiley faces"
Author:  Captain Morgan [ Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
No one is too busy to put a smiley in a text. Period. If it feels funny, it IS funny.
Mack, I think we are on the same page almost all the time in these posts...

Don't accept the BS that she is too busy...ANYONE who is legitimately interested will MAKE TIME for that...You want to eat, you will eat; you want to work, you will work; you want to be with someone, you will! She is shit testing you with the whole, "but please stay at my beck and call" bullshit. I would have said, right there, "well, having your cake and eating it too would be nice. Too bad we met at such a time as this." (neg/willingness to walk away)

I would say she has already got your sack and knows it...lol

Remember that chicks, especially HOT ones, are MASTER manipulators....
Author:  Keksman [ Wed Apr 13, 2011 5:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Remember that chicks, especially HOT ones, are MASTER manipulators....
I may be naive, but I don't see women as being as manipulative as many round here say. Nor do I believe in shit tests--although admittedly, I still don't fully understand what they are (supposed to be).

To the extent that women play games, not entirely unlike our PUA strategies, it's a result of misguided social norms an ill advice; whether they derive from chick-flicks, grandma's generation, or elsewhere. I think one type of woman has been conditioned to be afraid of the fairy tale wolf, who will hit and quit with much deception. She will do silly things to unveil and protect herself from Mr. wolf. Another type has swallowed all the pop culture bullshit about they archetype AFC being the object of desire. She's just treating him like what he is, a mop to wipe the floor with (and who can blame her). Yet another type (drumroll for the cliche, please) is simply afraid of putting herself out there and needs to know that she has the guy in the bag. She will play stupid games until she can be sure.

But no matter which type you're dealing with, most women don't manipulate as much as they try to follow bad advice they have internalized. If anything, I don't see it worthy of condemnation but rather deserving of pity.

Lastly, some broads of course know social dynamics and toy with them consciously. But I deal with them the same way I deal with the other ones I talked about above: I maintain my frame, make no apologies, and refuse to adapt to the woman or change the way I act.

Back to the OP's original point. If she plays the "I'm busy but keep calling me card," I"ll expressly put the ball in her court and leave it there. If she doesn't make it happen, I've long moved on and she's still playing my herself. Afterall, there are too many wonderful women out there for me to explore...
Author:  Captain Morgan [ Wed Apr 13, 2011 5:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Remember that chicks, especially HOT ones, are MASTER manipulators....
I may be naive, but I don't see women as being as manipulative as many round here say. Nor do I believe in shit tests--although admittedly, I still don't fully understand what they are (supposed to be).

To the extent that women play games, not entirely unlike our PUA strategies, it's a result of misguided social norms an ill advice; whether they derive from chick-flicks, grandma's generation, or elsewhere. I think one type of woman has been conditioned to be afraid of the fairy tale wolf, who will hit and quit with much deception. She will do silly things to unveil and protect herself from Mr. wolf. Another type has swallowed all the pop culture bullshit about they archetype AFC being the object of desire. She's just treating him like what he is, a mop to wipe the floor with (and who can blame her). Yet another type (drumroll for the cliche, please) is simply afraid of putting herself out there and needs to know that she has the guy in the bag. She will play stupid games until she can be sure.

But no matter which type you're dealing with, most women don't manipulate as much as they try to follow bad advice they have internalized. If anything, I don't see it worthy of condemnation but rather deserving of pity.

Lastly, some broads of course know social dynamics and toy with them consciously. But I deal with them the same way I deal with the other ones I talked about above: I maintain my frame, make no apologies, and refuse to adapt to the woman or change the way I act.

Back to the OP's original point. If she plays the "I'm busy but keep calling me card," I"ll expressly put the ball in her court and leave it there. If she doesn't make it happen, I've long moved on and she's still playing my herself. Afterall, there are too many wonderful women out there for me to explore...

As long as you maintain your frame, yes, all will be good...I said this, as well, above...."can't have her cake and eat it too." However, I would submit if you don't understand, fundamentally, that women are PASSIVELY manipulative (because they have to be), you will not be able to hold your frame because you won't be looking for the way they destroy your frame through their manipulation (ie-shit tests, negs...etc)

I am in the middle of reading 48 Laws of Power. ALL people, guys or girls, are always pivoting for power, it is our nature to gain as much control as we can. Women cannot actively take power by physical force. Whenever a species is smaller in physical size and strength, they find other ways to manipulate or gain control of their situation. I call this passive manipulation, which in many many cases, is the more dangerous of the two because no one sees it coming or is blinded to it because it is hidden...like chess, many moves ahead....more calculated. How can you fight a fight that you don't know is there? This is why women have so effectively become good at ruling "behind the scenes." I could give many examples...

The best clue to all this is how our society is growing more and more dominated by feminist thought....How, by physical take over? Obviously not....
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Wed Apr 13, 2011 7:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
shit tests exist.

women are genetically and naturally predisposed to test the "worthiness" of a potential mate.

hence, the shit test.
Author:  Keksman [ Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
As long as you maintain your frame, yes, all will be good...I said this, as well, above...."can't have her cake and eat it too." However, I would submit if you don't understand, fundamentally, that women are PASSIVELY manipulative (because they have to be), you will not be able to hold your frame because you won't be looking for the way they destroy your frame through their manipulation (ie-shit tests, negs...etc)
I shall pay more attention in the field. But so far, neither have I been looking for it, nor have I noticed it (with very few exceptions). I naturally have a very strong, dominant frame, and I tend to put her on the "defensive." What I mean by that is, that I tease a lot and say the most outrageous shit. So the most I ever get is a battle of wits, sprinkled with ever so aggressive verbal jabs at the other. If that gets to your concept of shittests/negs, I get it. Otherwise, I am blissfully ignorant. 8)
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
to your concept of shittests/negs, I get it. Otherwise, I am blissfully ignorant. 8)
The following is said in jest, for the most part, lol:

Shit tests are cumulative. Meaning they are like a geyser. There is a certain amount of steam that must be let off that geyser every so often to equalize the pressure. A geyser may erupt every hour for weeks on end, almost predictably, with little, maybe even barely noticeable burst. Or it may sit and stew for awhile, days, even weeks or more at a time, but make no mistake, like a force of nature, that eruption is coming.
Author:  Heffty [ Thu Apr 14, 2011 1:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Lots here to think about. Thanks guys. I'm not sure I know what to do as of yet. I think I'll give her a chance to get back to me this week, but I won't text her again. At the beginning of next week I'll drop her a line, if she says busy or some other BS, then I'll use the cake eating line brought up.
Author:  Captain Morgan [ Thu Apr 14, 2011 1:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Keep us up on what happens...
Author:  Heffty [ Tue Apr 26, 2011 11:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well I text her once more and she used the busy excuse again. I suppose she just wasn't interested.
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