PUA Forum :: How do I get over social formalness?

You're looking in the wrong direction. A lot of people have trouble because they are too much of a goofball with girls. Your strength is that you are able to maintain a serious face. Use this seriousness to seduce women instead, not by trying to discuss topics to get their interest. Seduction is something that can only be done in a sexual, but serious manner. Believe me, I can come up with some wild hilarious topics and get girls laughing easily..it doesn't help at all if I never become serious and sexual with them.

Expressionless is the right word here. Keep your head tilted and gaze into her eyes and don't say shit/nod your head/or put on various facial expressions.

Author:	echnarcissus [ Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:10 pm ]
Post subject:	How do I get over social formalness?
I do realize being a PUA is a long shot, but I feel I'm on my way- taking the first step. So here's my problem: I'm 'serious' almost all the time, except with very close few friends(2-4) and family. Almost all my conversations with people would be something that has to have a serious goal-work, career, businesses, classes, where I'm originally from etc. I've tried breaking this, but it's hard for me to talk of other 'fun stuff'. I believe I've overcome a lot of approach anxiety(guys and girls both, but I'm straight), just initiating conversations. But my monotonous voice and expressionless face, combined with serious topics drives people away eventually. That being said, I have had decent success with women(HB 6-8s mostly), just don't know how. It just happened, or as they say 'got lucky'.

Author:	Chris2k10 [ Mon Apr 11, 2011 11:19 pm ]
Post subject:
You're looking in the wrong direction. A lot of people have trouble because they are too much of a goofball with girls. Your strength is that you are able to maintain a serious face. Use this seriousness to seduce women instead, not by trying to discuss topics to get their interest. Seduction is something that can only be done in a sexual, but serious manner. Believe me, I can come up with some wild hilarious topics and get girls laughing easily..it doesn't help at all if I never become serious and sexual with them. Expressionless is the right word here. Keep your head tilted and gaze into her eyes and don't say shit/nod your head/or put on various facial expressions.

Author:	echnarcissus [ Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:46 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: You're looking in the wrong direction. A lot of people have trouble because they are too much of a goofball with girls. Your strength is that you are able to maintain a serious face. Use this seriousness to seduce women instead, not by trying to discuss topics to get their interest. Seduction is something that can only be done in a sexual, but serious manner. Believe me, I can come up with some wild hilarious topics and get girls laughing easily..it doesn't help at all if I never become serious and sexual with them. Expressionless is the right word here. Keep your head tilted and gaze into her eyes and don't say shit/nod your head/or put on various facial expressions. Wow I never thought of that. I looked at it this way- My first step would to be come socially comfortable with people, even if it meant not getting any chicks for a while. And then when I'm comfortable, I could work on the PUA stuff- being cocky, negging etc. I've had and sort of still have self esteem issues. Maybe that's what keeps me from joking around with people. But I really like your idea-jumping straight to PUA.

Author:	echnarcissus [ Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:39 am ]
Post subject:
Anyone else offering some insight?

Author:	lofu [ Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:37 am ]
Post subject:
I can totally understand where your coming from, use to be the same, hows work and boring chit chat like that. Go do fun things and activities, go on adventures, trips away with friends. Try do one new and exciting thing every week so you'll always have something fun to talk about. Also learn to smile more, practice in the mirror first if you have to, so you dont have a creepy weird smile, something comfortable. Tone of your voice can signify alot, so if your talking about something exciting make it sound exciting by adjusting tone levels so it engages people to listen on. Hope that helped

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Author:	DeCodeU [ Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:33 pm ]
Post subject:
all good advice guys, i would add just be positive and think positive, when u do that u think of happy things and things that make u happy and smile, i am always positve and girls love that because im fun to be around with and not saying negative stuff to throw away the convo in a bad direction

Author:	echnarcissus [ Thu Apr 14, 2011 6:19 pm ]
Post subject:
Thanks for all the advice guys. I'm working on being positive and doing 'fun' things at least once a week, as someone mentioned in this thread. At this point of time, I'd be glad to be the 'in the friend zone' with hot chicks. I feel I can definitely work up later. Gotta take it step by step.

Author:	Deadeyexx [ Thu Apr 14, 2011 6:45 pm ]
Post subject:
The problem with being too serious is that is pushes people away. I'm the same way. Would essentially build a shield of subject matter to keep others at bay. Work on asking more opinion-oriented questions to get people to open up more. Then reward thier openness with IOIs.

Author:	Chris2k10 [ Thu Apr 14, 2011 8:52 pm ]
Post subject:
To open up people, you have to act like you understand them/care. Imagine you being asked an opinion on something and the person then saying that you're wrong. People don't get along because they don't give a shit about each other, they do not see being in each other's shoes. Just be like, "Good point/I see what you mean/makes sense." Even if it doesn't make sense..

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