PUA Forum :: What exactly ARE core values??

Use the search button on the menu and look for "The Core values of a man" by Zac L.
Then you'll see some real stuff. Enjoy the read!

≠ LD

@Fin - Everybody has his or hers own opinion. For me the topic helped to find my own values - wether or not having helped you - don't criticise on an easy basis.

He needs to find his core values based on his idea's. We're just BOTH offering a different way to that.

≠ LD

Quote:

Zacs thread doesn't offer a way to find your own values. It offers you Zac's values (and approach to values) dressed up as mysticism.

Finding your own values, and attaching to a saviour figure who will give you values in return for prolonging his la la land fantasy do not result in the same end.

Agreed with the above people, don't latch on to others to ascertain your own values.

You know I think more guys should ask this, because it's a real problem among us who start out that many of us are latching on to any and every piece of information, and that includes stuff that we would otherwise call manipulative, unethical or misogynistic. You get guys who only ever wanted a steady girlfriend becoming attention whores and pick-up machines, and that's pretty superficial.

I recently heard a great talk from a behavioural coach in sports - he said, who you are is in a big way forged by your own sense of identity and your surrounding culture/group.

So, first of all, think of the person that you want to be in regards to relationships, personal qualities, or whatever, and write down three adjectives to describe that person. For example, relaxed, intelligent and fun. It doesn't have to be complicated, the simpler the better. Write them down, and whenever you're unsure of yourself or what you are doing, compare what you're doing with the person you want to be. Make sure to revise it along the way, too, and diversify and expand your self-image. This seems like a really basic way of realising what is important to you and getting you on track.

Secondly, your "culture" needs to reflect that identity. So the people around you need to be reflections of who you want to be, or should be striving towards that with you. The fact is, when you surround yourself with negative people or people whose values conflict with yours, this is going to have an effect on you. So cherish those relationships which are positive and congruent with who you are ... jock, nerd, hipster, lawyer, garbageman, whatever ... and don't let yourself be sucked into self-destructive cultures and peer groups.

Voila, bit long, but it helped me.

Quote:

Who are you to say wether or not he provided a means to find MY values.
Read my answer Finn and stop trying to douche Zac's post. I clearly stated he helped ME find MY values.

The fact that you don't care about his methods are techniques are irrelevant here -

≠ LD

I think if you look at someone else discussing THEIR values, and find your own by reading that. Either you're very insightful or....

See the previous post.

Chances are if your monlogue when reading is "Wow, this some really deep shit man, this guy is speaking truth" it's the latter.

Author:	natedizzle [ Thu Mar 31, 2011 5:51 pm ]
Post subject:	What exactly ARE core values??
I'm pretty sure they are internal things that yu like about yourself right? Well I've noticed that I can't even think of one and It's been 4 days now, so can someone give me some advice on how to find them? thanks

Author:	Algorythm [ Thu Mar 31, 2011 10:32 pm ]
Post subject:
Your Core values are the things which you stand and fight for, When I was little my dad beat my mother and ran out on the family, from past experience I now have this belief of preventing such situation in my self and with in my surroundings. This belief also refers to guys de-womanizing women and treating them as objects

Author:	LyricalDream [ Fri Apr 01, 2011 10:02 am ]
Post subject:
Use the search button on the menu and look for "The Core values of a man" by Zac L. Then you'll see some real stuff. Enjoy the read! ≠ LD

Author:	Fin [ Fri Apr 01, 2011 10:21 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Use the search button on the menu and look for "The Core values of a man" by Zac L. Then you'll see some real stuff. Enjoy the read! ≠ LD Zac's thread is full of esoteric bullshit which he uses to feed his delusion that his time studying chinese medicine and chi gung has qualified him as a spiritual guru. I would not recommend it. Hell I wouldn't recommend ANYONE who's teaching and presenting their values and beliefs in the manner which he is -- To the O.P. If you can't find any core values, maybe its time you started doing stuff to give you some core values? Start volountary work, find a sport or an art, are you in education? Try focusing on a subject that you can take to the next level. If you can't find core values, then maybe it's time that you stop looking and start making.

Author:	LyricalDream [ Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:28 am ]
Post subject:
@Fin - Everybody has his or hers own opinion. For me the topic helped to find my own values - wether or not having helped you - don't criticise on an easy basis. He needs to find his core values based on his idea's. We're just BOTH offering a different way to that. ≠ LD

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Author:	Fin [ Fri Apr 01, 2011 12:40 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: @Fin - Everybody has his or hers own opinion. For me the topic helped to find my own values - wether or not having helped you - don't criticise on an easy basis. He needs to find his core values based on his idea's. We're just BOTH offering a different way to that. ≠ LD Zacs thread doesn't offer a way to find your own values. It offers you Zac's values (and approach to values) dressed up as mysticism. Finding your own values, and attaching to a saviour figure who will give you values in return for prolonging his la la land fantasy do not result in the same end.

Author:	stuckupcurlyguy [ Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:11 pm ]
Post subject:
Agreed with the above people, don't latch on to others to ascertain your own values. You know I think more guys should ask this, because it's a real problem among us who start out that many of us are latching on to any and every piece of information, and that includes stuff that we would otherwise call manipulative, unethical or misogynistic. You get guys who only ever wanted a steady girlfriend becoming attention whores and pick-up machines, and that's pretty superficial. I recently heard a great talk from a behavioural coach in sports - he said, who you are is in a big way forged by your own sense of identity and your surrounding culture/group. So, first of all, think of the person that you want to be in regards to relationships, personal qualities, or whatever, and write down three adjectives to describe that person. For example, relaxed, intelligent and fun. It doesn't have to be complicated, the simpler the better. Write them down, and whenever you're unsure of yourself or what you are doing, compare what you're doing with the person you want to be. Make sure to revise it along the way, too, and diversify and expand your self-image. This seems like a really basic way of realising what is important to you and getting you on track. Secondly, your "culture" needs to reflect that identity. So the people around you need to be reflections of who you want to be, or should be striving towards that with you. The fact is, when you surround yourself with negative people or people whose values conflict with yours, this is going to have an effect on you. So cherish those relationships which are positive and congruent with who you are ... jock, nerd, hipster, lawyer, garbageman, whatever ... and don't let yourself be sucked into self-destructive cultures and peer groups. Voila, bit long, but it helped me.

Author:	LyricalDream [ Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:25 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: @Fin - Everybody has his or hers own opinion. For me the topic helped to find my own values - wether or not having helped you - don't criticise on an easy basis. He needs to find his core values based on his idea's. We're just BOTH offering a different way to that. ≠ LD Zacs thread doesn't offer a way to find your own values. It offers you Zac's values (and approach to values) dressed up as mysticism. Finding your own values, and attaching to a saviour figure who will give you values in return for prolonging his la la land fantasy do not result in the same end. Who are you to say wether or not he provided a means to find MY values. Read my answer Finn and stop trying to douche Zac's post. I clearly stated he helped ME find MY values. The fact that you don't care about his methods are techniques are irrelevant here - ≠ LD

Author:	Fin [ Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:26 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Agreed with the above people, don't latch on to others to ascertain your own values. You know I think more guys should ask this, because it's a real problem among us who start out that many of us are latching on to any and every piece of information, and that includes stuff that we would otherwise call manipulative, unethical or misogynistic. You get guys who only ever wanted a steady girlfriend becoming attention whores and pick-up machines, and that's pretty superficial. I recently heard a great talk from a behavioural coach in sports - he said, who you are is in a big way forged by your own sense of identity and your surrounding culture/group. So, first of all, think of the person that you want to be in regards to relationships, personal qualities, or whatever, and write down three adjectives to describe that person. For example, relaxed, intelligent and fun. It doesn't have to be complicated, the simpler the better. Write them down, and whenever you're unsure of yourself or what you are doing, compare what you're doing with the person you want to be. Make sure to revise it along the way, too, and diversify and expand your self-image. This seems like a really basic way of realising what is important to you and getting you on track. Secondly, your "culture" needs to reflect that identity. So the people around you need to be reflections of who you want to be, or should be striving towards that with you. The fact is, when you surround yourself with negative people or people whose values conflict with yours, this is going to have an effect on you. So cherish those relationships which are positive and congruent with who you are ... jock, nerd, hipster, lawyer, garbageman, whatever ... and don't let yourself be sucked into self-destructive cultures and peer groups. Voila, bit long, but it helped me. I like this answer. Funnily enough I've currently been studying the effects of culture in child development and in the workplace, very interesting input about choosing your culture. Though an interesting question would be what factors would influence someone to pick a certain culture.

Author:	Fin [ Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:31 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Quote: @Fin - Everybody has his or hers own opinion. For me the topic helped to find my own values - wether or not having helped you - don't criticise on an easy basis. He needs to find his core values based on his idea's. We're just BOTH offering a different way to that. ≠ LD Zacs thread doesn't offer a way to find your own values. It offers you Zac's values (and approach to values) dressed up as mysticism. Finding your own values, and attaching to a saviour figure who will give you values in return for prolonging his la la land fantasy do not result in the same end. Who are you to say wether or not he provided a means to find MY values. Read my answer Finn and stop trying to douche Zac's post. I clearly stated he helped ME find MY values. The fact that you don't care about his methods are techniques are irrelevant here - ≠ LD I think if you look at someone else discussing THEIR values, and find your own by reading that. Either you're very insightful or.... See the previous post. Chances are if your monlogue when reading is "Wow, this some really deep shit man, this guy is speaking truth" it's the latter.

Author:	LyricalDream [ Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:38 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I think if you look at someone else discussing THEIR values, and find your own by reading that. Either you're very insightful or.... See the previous post. Chances are if your monlogue when reading is "Wow, this some really deep shit man, this guy is speaking truth" it's the latter. Then I'm insightful. It doesn't matter how you mention it - the topic provided by Zac did help me to find my own values. They differ from person to person - but his techniques or methods to find those did help me find mine. And regarding to the OP's request - I just provided an answer that helped me. And thus MAYBE helping him too. Just as your advice does. ≠ LD

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