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What does his facebook convo mean?
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Author:  Subfusion [ Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:06 am ]
Post subject:  What does his facebook convo mean?
So, I finally had a legit conversation (albeit through facebook) with this one girl who's in two of my classes in high school. (We've exchanged a few sentences before, but that's it).

Facebook Chat:
Quote:
Me:
Hey

Her:
'Alo

Me:
Sooo, what'd you think of the play we've been watching? It always gets me depressed at the end of the day, haha.

Her:
I hate it.
Heck, I wanted ALL the characters to die

Me:
Damn, even Linda?

Her:
Yeah, they all piss me off
My dad's convinced that I actually secretly love it and I'm just lying--he's an acting major so he knows and loves every single play ever

Me:
Haha, that's hysterical.

Her:
If not sort of irritating, sure

Me:
Well, what kinds of plays do you like?

Her:
I'm not really a plays kinda person

Me:
Oh, do you like movies?

Her:
Nah, I'm a bookworm

Me:
Ahh, I can't seem to find the time to finish any book I start lately, I always seem to get halfway, and then switch to another one. Anyway, are you busy tomorrow evening? A couple friends and I were going to hang out and then watch this one movie, *Paul*.

Her:
Nahh I'm not around, I'm going to roller derby in Leominster

Me:
Ahh, aight. Sec, just got a strange phone call.
Sounds fun though

Her:
Girls in skirts and fishnets beating the shit out of each other? Hell yeah it'll be fun.

Me:
Haha, are you going to participate, or just watch?

Her:
Just watching, but I'm joining Binghamton University's team next year

Me:
Nice. Do you have a favorite roller derby-er? (I dont' know much about it).

Her:
Nahh this is my first time going to this one
I know how it's played but I don't know the teams or the players that'll be on tomorrow
I gotta go, though, I have to haul firewood and stuff. (My house is wood-heated and it's gonna be cold tonight. Weird I know.)
Peace, dude
******* is offline.
So, here are my questions:
1) Did I ask her out "properly"?
2) Did she seem engaged?
3) Does it seem like she's into me?
4) How can I have improved my game, in general?
5) What should I do now? (I see her every school day, and she's online at similar times as myself).
6) Does her calling me "dude" mean anything?
7) What did I do "right"? If anything.

####################################

Please advise me as to what I can do. :) Thanks in advance!
Author:  rozedavoice [ Sat Mar 19, 2011 4:13 am ]
Post subject: 
1) you rush her making it awkward
2)no
3) no
4)avoid friend mode
5)ignore her make her chase make it seem like you upset about her ditching you
6)yea means your in the friend mode
7)nothing
Author:  Warped Mindless [ Sat Mar 19, 2011 7:48 am ]
Post subject: 
First, don't listen to that rozedavoice guy, he has no idea what hes talking about.

Second, this wasn't a bad conversation but it wasn't really helpful either. Add a "spark" to your next conversation with her. Flirt more, make it more sexual, tease her a bit more. You asked a lot of questions and made it a logical conversation, don't do that. :P

Go for her number and get logistics and then set a meet up.
Author:  TheRealDave [ Sat Mar 19, 2011 1:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
looks more like an interview then a conversation. she doesnt seem engaged in it.. as for asking her out, you played it well saying you were going with friends and she could come along. dont let it knock you down that she said no, she had other plans made.
Author:  Subfusion [ Sat Mar 19, 2011 4:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
First, don't listen to that rozedavoice guy, he has no idea what hes talking about.

Second, this wasn't a bad conversation but it wasn't really helpful either. Add a "spark" to your next conversation with her. Flirt more, make it more sexual, tease her a bit more. You asked a lot of questions and made it a logical conversation, don't do that. :P

Go for her number and get logistics and then set a meet up.
Thanks. Any ideas on a "spark" I could add?
Author:  NashLife [ Sat Mar 19, 2011 6:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ugh, I'm such an old guy--well not that old--online stuff is still new to me. So, in reading the conversation I kind of visualized how the conversation would look like were it done in person.

The vision I get in my head about her, is she not facing toward you, has her arms folded, is sipping a coffee and answering your questions until the end of the conversation does she actually look at you. But that is not necessarily bad, I think that is a natural response from a girl who may not know you well enough.

Certain statements kind of stood out: 1) she mentioned her father--although she sounds like she is criticizing her father, it looks like she really admires her father. 2) she indicates she is a bookworm, but not a play or movie kind of person. 3) Her statement, "Girls in skirts and fishnets beating the shit out of each other? Hell yeah it'll be fun."

Of all the three things she indicated above, the most truthful I believe was the last statement. The other two statements before that to me appeared to be sort of defensive statements, trying to put you at a distance from her.

In regards to the defensive statements, there really is not much you can do about them because they are only stated to push you back. The last statement though, was an opening.

Curiously though, once you got an opening you, yourself diverted it.

"Haha, are you going to participate, or just watch?"

To me your response, seemed kind of uncomfortable with her response. So much so, you kind of took a sort of almost judgmental stance.

Because you are 17, I'm not going to write what I would have stated after her third response--it would not be age appropriate.

However, my recommendation to you is to think why you reacted to her third question the way you did. It was a total opening for you. However, something about it made you pull back.
Author:  Subfusion [ Sat Mar 19, 2011 6:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hmm...what would you have said? (an "age appropriate" version?). We're both 18, and she's...3-ish months older than me.
Author:  Fender43 [ Sat Mar 19, 2011 7:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
She could totally tell you we're hitting on her

"Anyway, are you busy tomorrow evening? A couple friends and I were going to hang out and then watch this one movie, *Paul*."

You put this too formally, and right after an uninteresting anecdote about reading books? why?
And you dont ASK the girl out, you make her go out with you
what you should've said

Ignored the Books part


"put it down for a minute and go to a movie with me tomorrow night"

Thats it, the demand just puts her into a state where she has to more a less decide
and if she wouldve still pulled the Roller derby stuff, dont act interested,

im going to a roller derby

"Hold on this chick in my X class is calling me about the movies"

This would've triggered her interest more and more and set her out to go out with you, if not that night another time. at this point you should've just logged off and left her hangin.

keep it up, we all learn

Fender43
Author:  Subfusion [ Sun Mar 20, 2011 7:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
She could totally tell you we're hitting on her

"Anyway, are you busy tomorrow evening? A couple friends and I were going to hang out and then watch this one movie, *Paul*."

You put this too formally, and right after an uninteresting anecdote about reading books? why?
And you dont ASK the girl out, you make her go out with you
what you should've said

Ignored the Books part


"put it down for a minute and go to a movie with me tomorrow night"

Thats it, the demand just puts her into a state where she has to more a less decide
and if she wouldve still pulled the Roller derby stuff, dont act interested,

im going to a roller derby

"Hold on this chick in my X class is calling me about the movies"

This would've triggered her interest more and more and set her out to go out with you, if not that night another time. at this point you should've just logged off and left her hangin.

keep it up, we all learn

Fender43
All right, thanks man. Now, I'm wondering what I should do on Monday when I see her (first thing in the morning).

I'm thinking of asking her how the roller derby went, and then telling her to meet me later in the day so I can show her "something" (that something is an awesome lizard in my marine bio class - I know she loves animals).

What would you do?
Author:  NashLife [ Sun Mar 20, 2011 5:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
She could totally tell you we're hitting on her

"Anyway, are you busy tomorrow evening? A couple friends and I were going to hang out and then watch this one movie, *Paul*."

You put this too formally, and right after an uninteresting anecdote about reading books? why?
I agree with this completely. You did rush in at an awkward point. Formal or informal for me is not an issue.
Quote:
And you dont ASK the girl out, you make her go out with you
what you should've said

Thats it, the demand just puts her into a state where she has to more a less decide
and if she wouldve still pulled the Roller derby stuff, dont act interested,
Dude, you do not, do not want to strong arm a woman to date you. I mean, kid, do not go down that road. There is no point. Any women worth anything, would not only resent being strong armed but if they are sane they would completely get away from you and get a restraining order.

I can honestly write, every single woman I have dated--there are many--wanted to go out with me because they wanted to go out with me not because they felt compelled or threatened to go out with me.

Maybe I'm unique in the PUA community, but I follow a no BS policy and a, "would I want my sister," to be approached this way policy. Neither interfere with game, but enhance my game. I'm authentic and someone you can bring home to your parents.

Quote:
All right, thanks man. Now, I'm wondering what I should do on Monday when I see her (first thing in the morning).

I'm thinking of asking her how the roller derby went, and then telling her to meet me later in the day so I can show her "something" (that something is an awesome lizard in my marine bio class - I know she loves animals).

What would you do?
Monday, definitely ask her how the roller derby went. Kind of stick with the roller derby theme for a while. Then if she seems open to you, ask her if you and your friends can go with her and her friends next time she goes to a roller derby event. Tell her, neither you or your friends know anything about roller derby but it sounds cool; so she can kind of explain how everything works in roller derby.

I have nephews in high school and most of their dating relationships start out as group hang-outs. So for instance, my oldest nephew celebrated a friend's party at a hang out with a bunch of his friends and other friends from other schools who he did not know. He struck up a conversation with a girl from another school and he really liked her. For the next few times, he and this girl hung out not alone but among a group of other friends. Eventually, my nephew asked the girl out on a date alone. They dated for a while after that.

Instead of asking her to meet you later to show her, "something," just be upfront, "Hey, there is this awesome lizard in my marine bio class," and go from there.

Finally, do not use this message board or any message board to replace your own instincts, common sense, or style. Also, do not use this message board or any message board to find, "What to say." None of us honestly know the complete story, only you do so none of us can speak for you.

Also, in school learning means making mistakes. Mistakes are OK, especially if you can learn something from them. I mean it would not make sense for your teacher to hand you an exam and then for the rest of the class tell you the answers. If he or she did that, one you would have no motivation for studying, two you would learn nothing even though you got all the answers correct, and three you would just be cheating yourself when it came time to take a test and no one is there to give you the answers.

The proper use of message boards is reading others experiences and learning from them as well as understanding general questions of social relationships.

So for example a bad but common question:

"A girl said to me __________. How should I reply?"

No one knows the answer, you figure it out.

An example of a better question

"Under what situations are compliments appropriate?"

The first question will not solve the bigger issue of how to interact with women. The second question is better, but not really ideal, in that it is exploring different perspectives on how to interact with women in general.

The reason you want to learn general social skill and ideas is because realistically, you may go nowhere with this particular girl or any particular girl. But regardless of any one girl, you want to be able to move on and open other girls in general. [/b]
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