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Overcoming past experiences?
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Author:  Olivier [ Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Overcoming past experiences?
Alright here's the deal,

there is this one girl I am really attracted to, I know, I know, oneitis and everything. We kissed and spooned around for a bit, second base yada yada, but I have problems escalating (made another threat about it). The thing is :I would like to be in a relationship with her.
But thats not the problem I would like to discuss here.

The problem is, she has 2 ex's who have literally gone to hell after they broke up.
One is well, half dead from doing way too much drugs and alcohol, and well the other....he's in such a depressive state I'm not even sure I can qualify that as half alive.

Her main reason for not wanting to get into a relationship with me(I didnt ask her specifically yet) is she is worried we will get into a fight, break up, ruin our friendship and my life will go to shit.

Now I can play the nice guy, which was my afc solution to the problem, let her know you are there, supporting her in every way possible. It works for becoming a part of her life, but other than that it doesn't.

If there is anyone out there, reading this, thinking well this idea might just work, reply:p Any advice on topic is welcome!
Author:  sensetiveNick [ Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
i had i similar situation like this with my last girl and did a HUGE afc move, i got frustrated and broke up with her lol.

So i would also like to hear some advice to your question

but sorry no advice from me im still a newbie to the game
Author:  bandito69 [ Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
The problem is, she has 2 ex's who have literally gone to hell after they broke up.
One is well, half dead from doing way too much drugs and alcohol, and well the other....he's in such a depressive state I'm not even sure I can qualify that as half alive.
Quote:
Not your fault shes had a shitty past, dont go making it YOUR fault now lol
Her main reason for not wanting to get into a relationship with me(I didnt ask her specifically yet) is she is worried we will get into a fight, break up, ruin our friendship and my life will go to shit.

Quote:
thats what SHE thinks, girls follow there emotions logicly(which even they cant even control)
Now I can play the nice guy, which was my afc solution to the problem, let her know you are there, supporting her in every way possible. It works for becoming a part of her life, but other than that it doesn't.

Quote:
MY GOD DONT DO THAT LOL!!!
If there is anyone out there, reading this, thinking well this idea might just work, reply:p Any advice on topic is welcome!

Quote:
Right now shes in a fragile state, she isnt sure what the hell to do, her default choice might be to just cut all ties from you, to protect herself emotionaly, being a nice guy would trigger this very fast


like i said, her past isnt your fault. dont go and making YOUR fault lol.
You can stick around but dont get to close, she has issues to resolve herself, and naturaly she will open up to you when SHE feels you are worthy

edit: FML, i just reversed the quotes to myself :x
Author:  Olivier [ Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:44 am ]
Post subject: 
You are actually right, she was talking about maybe we shouldn't get together anymore, let's just be friends again....So I was sitting in her living room for a while, reading a book and well she came asking for a hug.

I just said no, I dont feel like that right now, when you are toying with my emotions like that.

And she literally came curling up to me, begging me to give her some attention.

Perhaps ignore her for a while? Be mean?
I don't want her to totally cut all ties with me:(
Author:  LyricalDream [ Wed Mar 09, 2011 8:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey man,

Is this still the same girl?

≠ LD
Author:  Maxovic [ Wed Mar 09, 2011 8:31 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
edit: FML, i just reversed the quotes to myself :x
Hahahah EPIC. I literally pissed my panties
Author:  Olivier [ Wed Mar 09, 2011 8:52 am ]
Post subject: 
It's still that very same girl yes.
Author:  LyricalDream [ Wed Mar 09, 2011 8:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Look - she's into an emotional state and she is doubting the fact that she can handle you being too much for her to handle. Girls like these are really hard situations because of the fact that they are not stable enough to actually live into a decent situation - i.o.w. a strong relationship.

I wouldn't advise you to keep going AT THIS MOMENT, she is clearly clueless about the fact what's happening right now with this everything and she has no clue how to continue with it. If you don't watch out, you'll be the next guy in the row.

≠ LD
Author:  kasabi [ Wed Mar 09, 2011 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Overcoming past experiences?
Quote:
Her main reason for not wanting to get into a relationship with me(I didnt ask her specifically yet) is she is worried we will get into a fight, break up, ruin our friendship and my life will go to shit.
No, her main reason for not wanting to get into a relationship with you is because you're a square. She gets excited by fucked up, drugged up, alcoholic losers, then she uses all of that as an excuse to dump them. She'll repeat the process until the day she dies.

If you think she'll be fun to play with, then play the role of a fucked up loser and you're in. The day you turn back to the square that you are, she'll stop getting interested. If you continue to play the f'd up character, you'll get to F her for about as the other screwballs until she finds some fresh loser meat.

If you're not much off an actor, she won't buy it and she'll just find another fuck up to fuck and fuck over.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
edit: FML, i just reversed the quotes to myself :x
Hahahah EPIC. I literally pissed my panties
ditto
Author:  wreckingball12 [ Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
You need to move on man. From the sound of it,she's not emotionaly stable enough to have a relationship(healthy one). You were not put on this earth to "save" anybody from there past/bad luck.

Work on finding a girl who doesn't neces. "need" you but wil grow with you. someone who will enhance your life more than it already is.

Be a Man.
Author:  bandito69 [ Thu Mar 10, 2011 3:43 am ]
Post subject: 
ahhh stop maken fun of me!! hahahaa

shes hot, and if you think shes worth it then dont stop.
when i have situations like this i know that having patients is KEY

i get all restless, and end up fucking it all up by pushing to hard trying to get answers.
which leads to failing, and feeling like a dumb fucking idiot :cry:


so have patients! could take 2 weeks or even 2 months
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