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some questions that'll help me progress
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Author:  lor_enz0 [ Fri Mar 04, 2011 12:06 am ]
Post subject:  some questions that'll help me progress
Ok I'll go over my aproach step by step and ask some questions on the way.


(I'm 19 in uni btw)

I entered bar with my friend. He left to get our (female) friend. I stood there for a few secs. Tapped two girls on the shoulders in a 5set (all decent looking girls)
opener: "Hey, can I ask you guys something? My friend is getting a friend of ours and I don't wanna stand here alone you know (smile) can I hang with you guys for a sec." One of the girls is really cool about it and says: "Oh no that's fine"and starts openly chatting.

Q: 1) I have used this opener twice and twice the girls have responded good. (no rejection), but still I'm wondering if it's a DLV to say this.

DHV: Here I kinda fucked up, I know what I should've done thought so it doesn't really mather. What does mather thought -and what I wanna ask a q about- is that once the one girl was digging me I gave all my attention to her and ignored the other girls as they weren't really giving me IOI's (I did make the girl introduce me to her friends at first and we chook hands, but that was it.
(I couldnt use 'can't take her anywhere' cause I don't know the dutch version :p)

Later another girl was coming in and said 'who is that guy? to one of the girls. Which was kinda DLVing me. I introduced myself, but she just looked at me funny.

SO most important Q: how should I've handled the obstacles better? which I think is a leak in my game..


And last Q: Is it wrong to show your intrest in one specific girl once she's shown more intrest in you then the other girls?

thx in advance

Lor

edit: And: I could've used the 'my friend is getting a friend' to DHV, but how can I say she's a girl subtilely?
Author:  Jits138 [ Fri Mar 04, 2011 12:16 am ]
Post subject: 
If you start showing interest in a target before the obstacles like you then you will create a lot of cock blocking. Like when the friend showed up. If you had entertained the set instead of focusing on your target it would have gone more like this.

New girl - Who is this guy

Set - Oh this is blank her is really funny.

New girl - cool, nice to meet you. What are you guys doing?

That way you would be part of the set and not just some guy hitting on their friend.
When you pull a girl for isolation you are know you are doing well when you can obviously see that her friends are sad to see you go.
Author:  lor_enz0 [ Fri Mar 04, 2011 1:07 am ]
Post subject: 
But the reason I'm talking to this one is cause I'm not really getting a positif vibe from the others. So how can I engage them?
Author:  Coldman [ Fri Mar 04, 2011 1:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: some questions that'll help me progress
Quote:
Ok I'll go over my aproach step by step and ask some questions on the way.


(I'm 19 in uni btw)

I entered bar with my friend. He left to get our (female) friend. I stood there for a few secs. Tapped two girls on the shoulders in a 5set (all decent looking girls)
opener: "Hey, can I ask you guys something? My friend is getting a friend of ours and I don't wanna stand here alone you know (smile) can I hang with you guys for a sec." One of the girls is really cool about it and says: "Oh no that's fine"and starts openly chatting.

Q: 1) I have used this opener twice and twice the girls have responded good. (no rejection), but still I'm wondering if it's a DLV to say this.

DHV: Here I kinda fucked up, I know what I should've done thought so it doesn't really mather. What does mather thought -and what I wanna ask a q about- is that once the one girl was digging me I gave all my attention to her and ignored the other girls as they weren't really giving me IOI's (I did make the girl introduce me to her friends at first and we chook hands, but that was it.
(I couldnt use 'can't take her anywhere' cause I don't know the dutch version :p)

Later another girl was coming in and said 'who is that guy? to one of the girls. Which was kinda DLVing me. I introduced myself, but she just looked at me funny.

SO most important Q: how should I've handled the obstacles better? which I think is a leak in my game..


And last Q: Is it wrong to show your intrest in one specific girl once she's shown more intrest in you then the other girls?

thx in advance

Lor

edit: And: I could've used the 'my friend is getting a friend' to DHV, but how can I say she's a girl subtilely?
Your opener is definitely a DLV, you're coming across as a guy that doesn't have the social skills to talk to anyone, so you're asking if it's okay for them to relief you of your boredom. But at least you're trying... ;)

Also don't tap people on the shoulder, it'll come across as you're scared of touching people. Put your hand on the shoulder of someone and just slide in and start talking, expect them to listen to you and speak loud (especially in bars) so people can hear you.



Absolutely you can show only her interest if she shows you a lot. If I'm out with my female friends and I see her hitting it off with a guy I'll just let her be, it's when she isn't interested and the guy keeps trying is when I step in.

I always get the friends involved by saying stuff like: "Your friend and I like each other, are you guys cool with that? ;)"

In a 5-set you shouldn't even bother too much entertaining them ALL... just talk to them enough so they don't think you're fucking weird and seem like a normal guy, and then mini-isolate the girl you're interested in (only talk to her and let the group talk amongst themselves), and eventually go for full isolation as soon as you can. (Hey, I'm gonna: grab a drink/go smoke/go dance/get some fresh air/etc, come and keep me company)




When someone enters the set you should always be friendly, calibrate, I dunno at what point she entered, but if you've hooked the set and everyone likes you they should've remembered your name and introduced you. Some people have no manners however and don't do this, you can go introduce yourself as soon as she enters.

Mystery teases the girl he's interested in when someone enters the set with something like: "Hey, don't be rude.. introduce me.... (and before she has a chance to respond), well never mind, I'll do it myself. ;) Hey, I'm Mystery."


p.s. try saying that line in dutch like this: "Ze is zeker altijd zo? tja, je kan haar aankleden maar echt nergens mee naartoe nemen haha" (say it with a smile, it's a joke, so if they laugh you've done it right)
Author:  lor_enz0 [ Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:02 am ]
Post subject: 
(I'll just continue talking in english even thought you also speak Dutch :p)

Ok, I get what you're saying, but how would you have opened this 5set all girls all in a circle with there shoulders turned to you.Don't you think it'll creep them out even more when they feel a hand on their shoulder touching them from behind?
Author:  Jits138 [ Fri Mar 04, 2011 2:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
(I'll just continue talking in english even thought you also speak Dutch :p)

Ok, I get what you're saying, but how would you have opened this 5set all girls all in a circle with there shoulders turned to you.Don't you think it'll creep them out even more when they feel a hand on their shoulder touching them from behind?
NEVER APPROACH A WOMAN FROM BEHIND!!! Position your self so you are between 10 and 2 o'clock. if you have to then approach from directly aside them. take your arms hold them outstretched. switch to your peripheral vision. wiggle you finger while drawing your arms together towards the front of your chest. When you can see your wiggling fingers this is the farthest off to the side you should approach a woman from.
Now do the same thing with tunnel vision but star out front. Find the last point that you can see your fingers clearly. This is the ideal place to approach a woman from.
Author:  Coldman [ Fri Mar 04, 2011 2:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
(I'll just continue talking in english even thought you also speak Dutch :p)

Ok, I get what you're saying, but how would you have opened this 5set all girls all in a circle with there shoulders turned to you.Don't you think it'll creep them out even more when they feel a hand on their shoulder touching them from behind?
Yea it's not very good to get approached from behind haha some woman will get startled. These days I don't really open the whole group anymore, I just go direct with the girl I'm interested in. Especially in a loud bar to keep 5 people entertained you've got to have REALLY high energy, I used to do that though, but not anymore.

I don't know how tight they were together but there's usually an opening there somewhere, and if you want to use indirect then you can just open the person who's near the biggest opening, this way you can slide in their circle without having to squeeze yourself in there.

Just experiment with it, and kudos for approaching ;)
Author:  lor_enz0 [ Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok, thx guys. I'll keep this in mind for tomorow :p
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