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| A huge problem with the 'friend zone' https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=86525 |
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| Author: | Luke93 [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | A huge problem with the 'friend zone' |
Hi everyone, Iv got a serious problem to tell you about, quite common as it is, but my situation is really, really bad, i guess. Namely, I'm badly stuck in the so called friend zone. I would like to precise my situation to you as thoroughly as possible because it is complex and I would really like to know your opinion on that. So, I got friends with one girl (a very hot one, I must admit, but I don't fall in love due to appearance or something like that) who got hurt by one of my buddies (they were flirting and he f*cked up and ditched her in a cruel way). And I was a great advisor for her back then, she admired my view of the situation, so we got closer and closer, she got addicted to me as a friend and me also, coz I was not in love with her yet (the paradox is, I was in love with another girl friend of mine, gosh, I'm 17 and the biggest problem of mine in terms of girls is that I continously fall in love with my friends because my 'method' of developing love is by getting to know the girl really close and the feeling starts to arise after about 3 or 4 months of friendly relationship when I know that this woman is the one. and by the time i fall in love, we are already great friends and i'm not a sexual object for her. I was never able to develop a feeling in a week or a few days, thats some kind of a curse), Nevertheles, my love for that friend started to diminish and at my birthday party (13th October) i started to feel something new towards my hot friend. I mean i fell in love again. We started to have problems (I tended to be jealous as a friend, quarreled with her like her ex-boyfriends, besieged her a few times) but she never turned away and our relationship was getting even better, with its culmination during Christmas, when we got as close as friends can be. We simply couldnt breathe without each other, she admitted that I was like 'oxygen' for her, but at the same time, still a great friend. And then came the New Years Eve and we got as drunk as hell and i started to cry and I told her that i had been in love with her for 2,5 months. She was shocked, but she subconscioulsy had been knowing that. And then the real tough thing started. U know what usually happens in such situation: the friends lose contact coz they both know they are not strictly friends any more, so they break up everything gradually. But as i told you, we developed an extremely strong bond with each other, and we remained 'friends' until now. But it was a tough thing, struggling with each other, quarreling about: me telling her to often that 'I love', me touching her in a way she didnt like, me developing a close relationship with her girl-mate and biasing this girl's view (u know the situation, I quarrel with her and she runs to cry to her girl-mate, and the girl-mate knows my version of facts and that drives her mad), me being jealous and sceptic about her friendly relationship with a new guy (because the bastard took her away from me during New Years Eve and he's been taking her away until now, I hate him with all my heart because he used the fact that she had problems with me to develop a relationship with her). And I had to react very quickly, I quited my love, stopped to touch her that often, stopped to whine about that guy, stopped to bias the girl-mates view, stopped to besiege her. And now it's quite well coz we dont quarrel as much and she likes my approach again. BUT we are still friends. And i dont want it, for god's sake. She manipulated my love and suppressed it so that I behave as a friend, u know, she adjusted me to her needs and I did that out of pure love, and not to lose her, to make it easier for her. And it's getting increasingly harder for me. So i gotta act, i gotta pick her up somehow. The thing that cheers me up is that throughout all my 'love period' she couldn't find a boyfriend for herself and that is something funny, because it may be quite egoistic what I say now, but i think it is because of me as a whole. I rearranged her expectations in terms of males and she cant find anyone for herself because noone has got as an ideal approach to her and nobody knows her as good as i do. And she cares about me so much that she withdraws the thoughts about looking for a boyfriend just not to hurt me. or she thinks so, but i seriously cant imagine her falling in love with someone other than me, coz iv calculated lots of times what she needs and how she needs to be treated (as you see, it took me 2 months to idealise the friend approach again). on the other hand, she doesnt love me at all. She has got a serious toughness in falling in love. And that is an ideal girl for me, really. I would like to with her as long as possible, but I am an inexperienced guy and it will be tough for me to leave the friend zone right now Please help! Thanks in advance. |
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| Author: | Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
are-you-in-the-friendzone-vt80247.html |
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| Author: | Luke93 [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 3:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
great thanks. I shall try this one. And what about any other pieces of advice, guys? Any specific things that will help me deal with this very situation? |
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| Author: | Art Sandusky [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 3:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Forget it if you're already friend zoned. Work on attracting women before getting to know them from now on. Besides, if you attract them first they'll try to hoist what they believe their best qualities are on you, thus showing what kind of person they really are. |
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