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a girl that makes no effort.
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Author:  lukeyx [ Sat Feb 19, 2011 5:28 pm ]
Post subject:  a girl that makes no effort.
ive been seeing this girl for about 3 weeks or somewhat, before that we was very close friends, but her bestfriend at a party told me she liked me. That party i got loads of IOI's from her and kiss closed it, I took her home in a taxi and made sure she got in that night. Before that we was texting often, she always text me first until that night.

Now though, it's weird, she will never seem to text me first. At college i get loads of IOI's, shes always turning her head looking at me every 5 seconds, and when im chatting to other girls and laughing and such, her face simply drops when she notices.

I once told her about a two weeks ago, because she makes no effort i text her saying 'even though i dont want this, i think its best we stay as friends', she was annoyed and told me how it isn't for the best and was pretty upset as well. I explained how she makes no effort and she told me how she doesnt express her feelings much.

Ive only ever been with her on her own once, even though to me there was nothing special about it, i could tell she was into me still. This was on the saturday, that night when i got in i text her and we was texting for a bit. On the monday i asked her to come cinemas wednesday, she agreed with a big smile on her face. tuesday and wednesday we hardly spoke as much, i wondered if she cared about the cinemas so i never spoke to her and chose to ignore her till yesterday, but on purpose so she could see i was ignoring her( i don't know if this was the right thing but it kind of worked :P)

I got a text from that night telling me how pissed off she was that i was ignoring her, i kept everything short that i said to her, telling her that she dont care and such and that i dont see the point in trying with her anymore. She showed that she cared through the texts but not any other time.

This girl is not overly confident with boys and such, her ex cheated on her, although that relationship was always on a cliff anyway. She's definitely into me but i just want to know how i get her to show this, cause she only seems to show it when i stop showing that im into her.
Author:  drewuggz [ Sat Feb 19, 2011 5:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
maybe she's not interested in you anymore? maybe she found someone else?
i think you should do a freeze out or some push pull tactics with her.
if she kissed you she's definitely comfortable around you, atleast to a certain degree
and if shes not bein responsive in text she probably thinks ur annoying??clingy? girls dont like clingy.. idk just my input.
Author:  lukeyx [ Sat Feb 19, 2011 6:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
noo shes definitely interested, i freezed her out and she showed that she cared, but only when i freeze outon her she shows it. Shes quite shy.
ive kissed her several times, and she always walks away with her smile
texting is fine when im texting her, but i always have to text her first unless shes annoyed with me or somewhat, like when i freeze her out.
All i need to do is to get her to show me how shes feeling and for her to make an effort rather than hide what she feels. I think she cares to much of what others think and doesnt want to look a fool if i mess her around. How do i get her to show more of her emotions to me and not hide it?
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
some girls just don't do anything cause they think the boy should do everything

they exist..

and they are not what you want, believe me.

drop her. go look for a girl that invests in you too and make you feel loved.
Author:  AdamThomas [ Sat Feb 19, 2011 8:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tell her what you think.
Author:  the_jester [ Sat Feb 19, 2011 11:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lukeyx - While I sympathize, this girl sounds like she's still a tad confused and that cheating ex red flag may be one of the reasons. I personally would toss the movie idea too since it's hard to run game in a quiet theater.

The last time I wasted effort on a broad who meets your description, she just laid there like a dead fish when I finally closed. The shyness doesn't always disappear when clothes fall off.

But my experience doesn't give me foresight of yours. Maybe you've found a future pornstar who needs to turn into an extrovert first.
Author:  Teknine [ Sun Feb 20, 2011 4:01 am ]
Post subject: 
While I cannot solve this problem, I'd like to chime in. I was/have been dealing with a motherfucker of some oneitis about a girl who sounds very similar to how you describe. She is shy. But one thing that sobered me up a bit is she makes no fucking effort. Zero. I take the lead, I engineer every date, all the bounce points, etc. She follows. And then radio silence....that is unless I call her. She always picks up. If i text her, responses galore. Otherwise, I honestly wonder if this whole situation I have with her would evaporate without so much as a goodbye.

So what I'm saying is that I value a girl who makes even a tiny bit of effort. I believe this one is playing hard to get, and yours might be to, and I also believe (based on certain pieces of intelligence I've gathered from her), that her girlfriends are telling her to act like this. Whatever. My approach? I care less, and am already putting in less thought and effort about any date we may have in the future.
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sun Feb 20, 2011 4:38 am ]
Post subject: 
i agree with the jester about those girls are in bed.

they are the worst.

really terrible.

they just lay there, they don't even move. Good luck with it bro... i rather find me a HB 7.5 who sucks your dick like a pornstar than a HB10 who does not even bother touching your dick...
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:22 am ]
Post subject: 
to the original poster,

one thing your lady friend said that waves a giant red flag was the line about "well i don't express my feelings much" in response to the fact that she never initiates contact with you.

that. is. total. bullshit.

"initiating contact" does not equate "expressing feelings", it's called conversation for fuck's sake. it's not like you guys have to sob and share all your deepest fears and hopes and hold one another in a quivering mess of emotions. give me a break.

i am convinced (and this is a piece of advice for teknine too ;) ) that there are some women out there who act this way because it's a way of maintaining control and there are others who act this way because they are just a fucking bitch.

so, it's important not to get negative with them when they have behavior like this. because they might really like you. you want to be decent, fun, personable, but still show that you won't accept taking a backseat in the relationship game.
Author:  lukeyx [ Sun Feb 20, 2011 4:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
So what I'm saying is that I value a girl who makes even a tiny bit of effort. I believe this one is playing hard to get, and yours might be to, and I also believe (based on certain pieces of intelligence I've gathered from her), that her girlfriends are telling her to act like this. Whatever. My approach? I care less, and am already putting in less thought and effort about any date we may have in the future.


thats exactly what im doing, i show that i literally dont care at all
im not actually to fussed about the girl herself, i just want practice for future reference if this situation comes up again :P
Quote:
i am convinced (and this is a piece of advice for teknine too ;) ) that there are some women out there who act this way because it's a way of maintaining control and there are others who act this way because they are just a fucking bitch.
i totally agree, but how do i take control if this bitch if shes attempting to override me all the while by doing what she does?

heres the recent news, i asked her to meet me yesterday, it was a little late and she said she'll meet me tomorrow. Roughly 5 mins ago i asked her to meet me and she said cant we do it another day and basically gave me a shit excuse of it being to cold blala, but the text was rather long. How should I reply/react to this? i was just going to be a prick and text back saying 'ok', but could i say something better? im busy for the rest of the week as well so i cant exactly rearrange it neither, but even so i wasnt planning to ask her out again.
Author:  jurupa [ Sun Feb 20, 2011 5:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
If a girl is not going to invest any time in you why even bother with her? And from reading the posts from the op it sounds like this girl more like the attention than anything else.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Sun Feb 20, 2011 7:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
she sounds fat and lazy.

is she fat and lazy?
Author:  lukeyx [ Sun Feb 20, 2011 7:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
hahaha nahh, shes slim and hot :P

fucked her off anyways :) thanks for the advice guys
Author:  SRVisGod24 [ Mon Feb 21, 2011 7:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
hahaha nahh, shes slim and hot :P

fucked her off anyways :) thanks for the advice guys
Good job man! Forget her and find another girl who is willing to invest and isn't afraid to "express her emotions" :lol:
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