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gfs best friend is a guy. Should I worry?
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Author:  Century100 [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:44 am ]
Post subject:  gfs best friend is a guy. Should I worry?
He used to like her and she knows that
(I think he still does)

He sees her often, and she sees him as a best friend and says "You think I like him? Thats so far from the truth". They have been "best friends" for ages.

Before you jump down my throat about bringing up my insecurity with her, rest assured I did it appropriately in a cocky funny way. After she was jealous about a girl i was talking to I said "Hey, dont worry if you lose me. You have him after all, im sure youd be happy to marry him" (in a joking a degrading way toward him)

anyway. My fear is that she will eventually start liking him.
Is this a strong possibility?
Or is the fact that hes on the friends ladder enough to make you fairly sure that nothing will happen?



What are my odds, fellas. I know every situation is different, but answer as generally as possible :)

thanks alot guys
Author:  Silky-Smooth [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 12:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's hard to get off of that ljbf-ladder so generally you should be safe ...

Has she ever slept or kissed with him?

Just befried her best friend and he'll have a harder time stepping on yr toes :)
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 1:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
instead of worrying about theoretical possibilities. worry about what you can and can't do and will happen depending on how you choose.

there are two things you can do.

first, you can approve of this relationship. and risk a possibility that she might cheat on you with him. however, keep in mind, she could cheat on you at any time and with any person. so...something to think about.

or

second, you can disapprove of this relationship, and she will resent you and see you as an AFC.

it's your choice, but make no mistake, those ARE your choices.

if it makes you feel any better. i was best friends with a girl from age 18 to 20. and she was a smoking hottie, but i was a total AFC, there were so many times she could have initiated something. we were alone on so many occasions, even in her bedroom. she never did anything. so, yes, there are girls out there who genuinely can have a guy friend and never do anything with him.

now, on the flip side, you KNOW this dude wants to bone your girlfriend. because guys don't have girl (space) friends and NOT want to fuck them.

it's a sticky situation, but so is life.

if he really sets off your creep alarm, maybe you need to gently "scare" him away when she isn't looking. so what if he comes to her about it, deny, deny, deny, make him look like a jealous clinger. :D
Author:  Wal [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 1:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
first, you can approve of this relationship.

or

second, you can disapprove of this relationship, and she will resent you and see you as an AFC.
QFT

I have been in this situation before, and took the AFC route first. It was a lot of work to regain that respect from my girl, but once I got over myself, the best guy friend became one of my best friends. Take it from me--it is advantageous to make this guy your friend.
Author:  alezopeda [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 3:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Big chance he is gay to be honest or just an AFC.
Author:  Robertmcdouglas [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 3:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Never, ever "worry". You are the man, and if she wants a dick other than yours, she is an idiot.
Author:  Chelios [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 3:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Trust until trust is betrayed.

Take her word for it. If she abuses your trust she obviously isn't worth it, but if you don't trust, your insecurities will eat you up.
Author:  Saroza [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 4:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just to play the devil in this situation, I would be the other guy in this situation.

I've had this best friend since 8th grade HB 7 (I'm now in my Junior year in college). Back in my AFC days I had the biggest crush on this girl and we went through a lot of stuff together. But the bottom line was I had thought I permanently friend zoned myself.

One night (about 4 months ago) we were drinking at a friend's house and we both got pretty hammered. I went to crash on the couch and catch some Z's but she eventually showed up and pulled out the bed. Before I had any idea what was going on she was riding me. This night was really fuzzy so I don't even know the details... I woke up to my back bleeding from bite and claw marks, and we were both naked.

We woke up, sobered up, kissed some more and then our friend came downstairs to find us half dressed on the bed. He smirked at me and we got dressed and left. On the ride home she calls her roommate and goes "Just who I just had sex with!"

We really don't talk about it and our friendship is as strong as ever, we're still best friends. Granted we were both single at the time this happened, I'm just saying it IS possible to get out of the friend zone. This event may have been the alcohol talking but don't think you're entirely safe.

You could use BF destroyer type material on her best friend. When ever I feel that my GF is getting out of hand or overly flirtatious with friends I'll say things like.

"You get along so great with [name], how come you've never dated him?"
"You and [name] are like brother and sister! It is so darn cute!"
"Don't worry, we'll find you the perfect guy to go home with tonight!"

If he is around and they are actively flirting, I'll immediately show disinterest in her and go talk to another attractive female. If there are none...

To the guy "She is a hand full, how do you put up with her?" "I'll pay you to take her away!" (these will only work if your GF has more loyalty to you, as a PUA you should have this!) Then she will come back to you and be like "no, no, no I want to hang with you!"


Hope I've helped,

Saro
Author:  RAFC Dude [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Same situation here. My gf's best friend is a guy. He's a friend of her ex (she had a lot of trouble with him) and they became best friends when they were dating.

Now they spend alot of time togehter. They try to make a free day for each other every week. I don't have an issue with it and I think she likes this (not every boyfriend will approve of this!)

I'm not sure if he likes her, I jokingly told her he does and she said "no no that's impossible". Now he may not have a crush on her (although there's a big chance), but I'm sure he wouldn't hesitate one second to fuck a hot girl like her.

I'm just befriending him and approve of their friendship. He's actually a cool guy (huge AFC and I can't say I don't like that :) )
Author:  Captain Morgan [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:22 am ]
Post subject: 
I think it depends what you want...if you want an LTR with her, I wouldn't say you have to disapprove and be all up in her grill about it, but I think it is NAIVE (especially when married girls can be gamed all the time) to think you should just be all "ignorant" of it. People do and act certain ways and those actions, ESPECIALLY having history with someone, makes it all the more easy (EVEN IF SHE HAS NEVER CHEATED BEFORE) to find one's feelings CHANGING.....I had a girl I was in a relationship with in college have this set-up...I didn't get mad about it and say, "No, you can do this" AFC BS, but I did bring it up in a light-hearted/curious tone THROUGH QUESTIONS. She insisted over and over and over again she has never liked him or been attracted to him and they knew each other since 2nd grade. I just acknowledged it and said, "Ok, but two things will likely result as our relationship grows....1) Your friendship with him will gradually get less close. 2) We will not be progressing.

LISTEN: Girls and guys CANNOT be close friends without there being some form of attraction (yes, can be lopsided) on both parties...this is basic psychology. Now, when I say "close," I mean spending quite a bit of time together....if it is more like an acquaintance type thing where they hang out every once in a while, different story. if they are making time for each other, like someone sais above, there is SOMETHING there......

By the way, the girl and I dated for three months, she didn't hang out with him as much, he was of course pussy hurt....I broke up with her later.....they have been married for almost a decade now...hmmmmm.


If you DON'T want an LTR with her, who gives a fuck....have your fun and he may gets some later too!lol
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