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I'm stuck - no buddies to go clubbing
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Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:  I'm stuck - no buddies to go clubbing
Yesterday i wanted to go out, like always on saturday big erasmus party full of hot woman.

However, NONE of my buddies wanted to join. They don't like club's. They prefer to go to a cheap-crappy bar and drink. Drink the whole night.

So i stayed at home, realizing what great opportunity i was missing to get to know a nice girl in the club.

I just don't know what to do. I know lots of people, also girls, but nearly no one of them like to go clubbing...

Eventually i decided to go alone to the club, because i knew 1 guy was there which i know only vague. It was a disaster. I didn't felt comfortable at all alone, also because i saw many people who know me (but i don't know them enough and there is no way to get to know them better as now)- and they all saw me there standing alone.

I couldn't approach any girl. It was just akward and i went home after 1 hour already.

What the fuck should i do? I feel like Clubbing for me is THE best way to go for a girl. During the day i go to classes and there's no shit to do.

So:

1/ Where to find people who want to go to clubs with you?
2/ Is it the case that clubs are the best way to go for a chick?

Thanks!
Author:  Little Panda [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Of course you feel uncomfortable being thrown in an environment where you don't know anybody - and all the other people know each other and sit in groups.

You gotta break through that. As soon as you enter the club, start talking to people. Simple "Hey, how's it going" are enough to start warming up.




Eventually, people that look at you in the club are gonna go: "Omggg, who's that awesome guy that knows everybody??". You would have crossed your own comfort zone and gained hell of a lot of confidence. Approaching chicks wouldn't even be a problem.





Also, meeting chicks at clubs . . . Yes, sure, it's a good place. But if you're looking for quality girls that are 'girlfriend material', I would suggest looking for girls in other places (during the day maybe?), such as libraries, malls, etc. . .
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks LP.

Well, actually, i AM looking for girlfriend material. But if its just a lay, i don't care.

I just want some girls. Some dating. SOMETHING. And then i still can decide whether to continue or not - given the girls impressions thowards me.



As far as daygame. And GF-material. I don't see actually how to meet a girl in a library? Or something like that. I mean, honestly, during the day i do my stuff. I wash my clothes, i clean my room, i go to classes. I cook. I go with a friend in town. But no way i meet NEW chicks???

I am NOT A PUA. I don't approach during day, in a club i could do it, and i do. I just focus on creating a huge social circle (which i have more or less), which makes random approaches in mall's unnecessary. (I really don't see how a girl can become your GF after doing such a creepy random approach).
Author:  Little Panda [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
As far as daygame. And GF-material. I don't see actually how to meet a girl in a library? Or something like that. I mean, honestly, during the day i do my stuff. I wash my clothes, i clean my room, i go to classes. I cook. I go with a friend in town. But no way i meet NEW chicks???
During the day, you keep things simple and go direct. You have a busy day, she has a busy day. Conversation should go something like this:

YOU: Hey, this is gonna sound completely random but I think you're absolutely stunning.
HER: Awww thank you, blah blah
YOU: My name's Apocalyptica (don't use that name please).
HER: I'm ____

From here, you put in a simple story and/or improvised small talk - so both of you get a brief image of each others' personalities.

Then go straight to the point

YOU: I gotta go now, but I'd like to get to know you better. We should go do ____ some day.
HER: Yes/No


Get the number and set up a date some day. Or, alternatively, go on an instant date with her.

Simple as that. Works almost anywhere during the day.
Quote:
(I really don't see how a girl can become your GF after doing such a creepy random approach).
It's only creepy if you make it that way.
If you believe it's creepy - you will come off as creepy.

Change your view on reality.
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
As far as daygame. And GF-material. I don't see actually how to meet a girl in a library? Or something like that. I mean, honestly, during the day i do my stuff. I wash my clothes, i clean my room, i go to classes. I cook. I go with a friend in town. But no way i meet NEW chicks???
During the day, you keep things simple and go direct. You have a busy day, she has a busy day. Conversation should go something like this:

YOU: Hey, this is gonna sound completely random but I think you're absolutely stunning.
HER: Awww thank you, blah blah
YOU: My name's Apocalyptica (don't use that name please).
HER: I'm ____

From here, you put in a simple story and/or improvised small talk - so both of you get a brief image of each others' personalities.

Then go straight to the point

YOU: I gotta go now, but I'd like to get to know you better. We should go do ____ some day.
HER: Yes/No


Get the number and set up a date some day. Or, alternatively, go on an instant date with her.

Simple as that. Works almost anywhere during the day.
Yeah, you are right. Still, in general, it's not such thing you do if you want a GF. I mean, 8/10 dudes DONT do this shit. Still they find a proper girlfriend.. And i can imagine a girl being approached like this will think "wtf is this for a desperate dude." ..

The odds of direct game are probably like 9 rejecting out of 10. (Especially in the country where i'm now, pretty arrogant girls but good looking.) But that shouldn't bother me.

IMO, looking for aGF should be more done by using a social circle and by doing activities etc. However, it takes more time and the friend zone is like a huge problem..
Author:  Little Panda [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thinking and doing are two different things. You think this won't work, you think it's creepy and you think you will get rejected 9 times out of 10.

Have you ever actually tried it?

Most guys don't do this because they think like you: "Hey, no other guy is doing this - so it can't work! The girl is gonna think I'm out of my mind for approaching her randomly like that . . . "

My friend Trevor got laid with 2 chicks in one night. You know what his opener is?

" . . . YES PLEASE!"

Look at that. It makes no sense. Would you ever use that opener? No, because it will probably not work and it will probably gonna make you seem weird/creepy.

Not until you cross your own boundaries and experiment with things will you ever find out what truly works and what doesn't.

You will be surprised with how many things are gonna blow your freaking mind.
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
True

I have many girls as good friends.

I just asked her: what would you think? Is it creepy?

Her response:

It depends whether THE GUY IS CREEPY
Author:  Little Panda [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
^And she made a good point.

Now it's up to you to decide how you want to define yourself.
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
I wonder how many will say

"sorry but i have a boyfriend " even if it'snot.

(anyway my reaction would be: he can come too, and smile)
Author:  salad_fingers [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
True

I have many girls as good friends.

I just asked her: what would you think? Is it creepy?

Her response:

It depends whether THE GUY IS CREEPY
That is a response that makes sense to a point. This is where you (the prospective PUA) needs to work on things like body language and appearance which could make or break the creepy factor. If you approach HB with a smile and a relaxed look and tone of voice then there is less chance of her thinking "WTF is this wierdo doing?"

If you sound breathless, shaking a bit and unable to stand still, and use the most cliched and lame openers and not standing up tall and straight then failure will happen. If not then you may be surprised.
Author:  alezopeda [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Walk up to a group of girls and tell them the situation, that you are alone and you have an opener. Tell them some shit to smile and u have social proof, then go open other sets.
Author:  jabmaster [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
You really need to work in your frame, man.

I was also a Erasmus in my AFC days and missed a lot of opportunities because I could not understand shit.

First of all, you say girls in the country you are right now are not friendly which makes me think you are either in Germany or England.

In my experience both are misconceptions, german girls are really nice but it
takes time before they thrust you so you will have to work hard on comfort.
As for english girls they tend to have high bitch-shields so just don't give them much importance and deal with them as high risk-high reward.
(Again, that is my experience I don´t mean to write a book)


On the other hand, you say you are focused on getting a big social circle, if that is true you are doing it wrongly.
The time you enter the club and recognized a lot of people (even if you dont hang out with them) you should have approached and say hello to all. At least one of them would have made a good friend/target/wing/pivot.

I used to be in the same situation, lot of friends but no girlfriend and unable to understand why most guys could get girls easily while I was trying hard and getting no results.
This is what happened to me, see if you identify:
-I was perfectionist
-Only focused on gf material (this one you eventually regret)
-Never ever flirted or teased my targets
-Tried to please, right away (Pleasing is comfort, you only do comfort after attraction & qualify)


But remember my motto:
If she is not friend material then she is not girlfriend material (what I mean is don't look for gf material because you will be judging girls you don't know yet, look for girls, get to know them and then decide what you want to do with them)
Author:  salad_fingers [ Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You really need to work in your frame, man.

I was also a Erasmus in my AFC days and missed a lot of opportunities because I could not understand shit.

First of all, you say girls in the country you are right now are not friendly which makes me think you are either in Germany or England.

In my experience both are misconceptions, german girls are really nice but it
takes time before they thrust you so you will have to work hard on comfort.
As for english girls they tend to have high bitch-shields so just don't give them much importance and deal with them as high risk-high reward.
(Again, that is my experience I don´t mean to write a book)
I am from England and a former Erasmus student from way back when and can agree that Brit girls are more likely to have BSs switched on than other girls and I have felt much easier opening foreign girls (i.e. not from the UK) at anytime and anyplace.

The thing with Erasmus is that it is surely, no matter which city in the world you are in, a truly international experience, and you ahould be able to meet loads of people from all over the world rather than just the home country.
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