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Girl keeps on flaking, but...
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Author:  XmaX [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Girl keeps on flaking, but...
Okay, so I'm a postgrad at a uni in London. At the end of November, I was checking out facebook, and found a 1-st year undergrad, who did the same course I did, and is also Polish (like me) and, most importantly, single. So I poked her & messaged her, a conversation began and by the end of next day I had her number and she agreed to go for drinks on a specific day. Sounds awesome by now.

The thing is, she flaked. She gave some excuse, at that point a thought it could have been a legitimate excuse. So I tried to reschedule, but every time, she comes up with an excuse. It's mid-January now, and still nothing.

The thing that perplexes me, is that I did nothing at all between her initially agreeing and her flaking, so I couldn't screw anything up in the meantime. Also, we text quite a lot, and she's always responsive, even to texts which don't require a response. She also initiates the conversations once in a while, and even negs me in a way (today, she saw me sitting somewhere and texted "Why are you sitting downstairs like a loser?").

What do you think and what do I do?
Author:  TheJ [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Perhaps she wanted to know how much you would chase, perhaps she wants you to chase. Pherhaps she doesn't . Perhaps she had a legit reason not to go and was dissapointed by how easy it was to get you to re-schedule.

Don't think too much on it. It's about time for you to show a bit of dominance and backbone. Show you are the prize. Do some push pull of your own. If she texts you that neg, answer back "I know you want my attention, but that's not the way to do it" or something of your own. Don't reward crapy behavior. She flakes, wait for her to re-initiate contact. Trust me, if she wants to meet you, she will. If not, then forget about her, she just liked the attention. In the mean time keep on having a good time, hang out with girls, be social, game some more people.
Author:  GATA [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Don't reward crapy behavior. She flakes, wait for her to re-initiate contact. Trust me, if she wants to meet you, she will. If not, then forget about her, she just liked the attention. In the mean time keep on having a good time, hang out with girls, be social, game some more people.
I've had this situation happen to me before on a few occasions (as I'm sure we all have), and am even starting to have it now with one of the girls I've been seeing and hooking up with over the past month or so. I believe the above quote is the key.

Freeze her out completely for a week -- no texts, calls, or anything. If you've been talking via text as regularly as you say, she will at the very least wonder what's up and may even initiate a conversation with you first, in which case you shouldn't respond for at least 1 day. After that week without communication is up, come back strong... Send her something playful, let her know (indirectly, of course) how much fun you've been having/busy you have been, and be dominant.

If that still doesn't work, forget about it and move on.
Author:  XmaX [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 6:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Don't think too much on it. It's about time for you to show a bit of dominance and backbone. Show you are the prize. Do some push pull of your own.
Thanks for the tips. The truth is, I have been trying to be dominant right from the start - which I usually had a big problem with. And I think I made my best attempt on making her feel that I am indeed a prize.

I know that freeze-out would be a good idea... I'm not sure I can handle that, though. I'm bored a lot these days, and if I see my target online I'd probably be very tempted to chat.
Author:  GATA [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I know that freeze-out would be a good idea... I'm not sure I can handle that, though. I'm bored a lot these days, and if I see my target online I'd probably be very tempted to chat.
Stay strong, brotha. In the meantime, go out and meet people, get numbers, get laid, hell go get rejected. Just have fun! There are millions of girls out there just wishing you would open them. This one will come around. If she doesn't, it's her loss.
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