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How do you think ON THE SPOT when your mind goes blank?
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Author:  kzuu [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:46 am ]
Post subject:  How do you think ON THE SPOT when your mind goes blank?
How come this happens??? Can anyone recommend some material or exercises on being able to recover when your mind goes blank?

I sometimes 'visualize' the situation and can easily cruise along my routine. This doesn't just happen to me with pickup, it happens with public speaking too. I can go over my speech easily beforehand but once I'm in that position, I just stammer and sometimes there's an awkward silence. Why does this happen? Is it just anxiety? And how can you overcome it? Is it practice, or is there something I'm doing wrong (like thinking too far ahead)?

Also one more question, a friend of a friend of mine was once told by a psychologist (not sure if it's true) that it's possible to "exercise certain parts of the brain" that can "help with spontaneity", anyone know if this is true?
Author:  newstyle10 [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 7:17 am ]
Post subject: 
same happens to me, I think is training, the more you practice the more relaxed you are and the more spontaneous you get..
BTW, I'm also interested in some exercises :lol:
Author:  cedius [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 7:42 am ]
Post subject: 
It happens because you are nervous. Try to be calm as easy as it sounds.

Look at it this way, what do you say to your friends or do you even ever run out of things to say to them? That is how it should flow...exercises to try...engage in conversation with any and everyone. Push your limits to speak and be more confident with what you say with everyone, trust me, it's easier said than done.

With girls, you have to probe and find that interest that you both share, once you do, she will feel a connection because you share something in common...but if you ramble about non-sense or just don't say anything...then you are just plain WEIRD! There is more to this if you look around on the forum but I think this is a good starting point for you, now, if you can't do this, then you have work to do.
Author:  carlosdrr [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How do you think ON THE SPOT when your mind goes blank?
Quote:
How come this happens??? Can anyone recommend some material or exercises on being able to recover when your mind goes blank?

I sometimes 'visualize' the situation and can easily cruise along my routine. This doesn't just happen to me with pickup, it happens with public speaking too. I can go over my speech easily beforehand but once I'm in that position, I just stammer and sometimes there's an awkward silence. Why does this happen? Is it just anxiety? And how can you overcome it? Is it practice, or is there something I'm doing wrong (like thinking too far ahead)?

Also one more question, a friend of a friend of mine was once told by a psychologist (not sure if it's true) that it's possible to "exercise certain parts of the brain" that can "help with spontaneity", anyone know if this is true?
Stand in front of the mirror and start with simple lies
such as
if your name is kyle
say "my name is bob"
and notice the diff face movements your face does during each sentence, that way you'll be able to control your body language a bit better while lying (ofc move up in the lies...from your name to huge stories..give yourself impossible stories..."the time you were in miami beach and a shark attacked and you saved a 5 year old kid")
Author:  Coldman [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 1:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
How come this happens??? Can anyone recommend some material or exercises on being able to recover when your mind goes blank?

I sometimes 'visualize' the situation and can easily cruise along my routine. This doesn't just happen to me with pickup, it happens with public speaking too. I can go over my speech easily beforehand but once I'm in that position, I just stammer and sometimes there's an awkward silence. Why does this happen? Is it just anxiety? And how can you overcome it? Is it practice, or is there something I'm doing wrong (like thinking too far ahead)?

Also one more question, a friend of a friend of mine was once told by a psychologist (not sure if it's true) that it's possible to "exercise certain parts of the brain" that can "help with spontaneity", anyone know if this is true?
Stand in front of the mirror and start with simple lies
such as
if your name is kyle
say "my name is bob"
and notice the diff face movements your face does during each sentence, that way you'll be able to control your body language a bit better while lying (ofc move up in the lies...from your name to huge stories..give yourself impossible stories..."the time you were in miami beach and a shark attacked and you saved a 5 year old kid")
lol wtf, this does nothing to help kzuu with his questions.

What cedius said is true, if you are calm stuff just comes to you. If you are nervous random thoughts come up (which are making you nervous in the first place), and they are interfering with your thought process... you can only logically think of 1 thing, and while you should be going: "Hey beautiful.. wanna fuck?" (or whatever your game/routine is :P) your mind goes: "omg fuck, does she like me?", "she said this and that, what does she mean by that?", "omg she's not holding eye contact wtfffff this means she doesn't like me, I'm screwed!!"

... nerves. :) Only way to overcome it is through practice.
Author:  Hakuna [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 1:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Conversational skills are not always innate, they must developed through experience and practice. Approach / talk to people more and you will notice yourself getting better. Also, social anxiety is a self-fulfilling prophecy, try not to think about it. The more you think about being nervous, the more it'll actually happen. Once you can maintain a zen frame even when cold approaching a butt naked HB12, your game will go nuclear.

Never feel that it's wrong to embrace silence. Most guys only fret at awkward pauses because they concede lower status to a girl, so they find it to be THEIR job to constantly break the ice. When I approach, I break the ice in the beginning and then if it gets boring, I get act disinterested. You can even turn your back on her or start chatting up other people. Gaze into space and think about your plans for world domination. You must always assume attraction, dominance, and higher status. If James Bond or Kieth Richards were talking to a girl and she suddenly went quite, would he try really hard to keep her interested? No, he just wouldn't care.
Author:  cedius [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:54 am ]
Post subject: 
In all honesty...I tried the mirror bit...I thought I was breaking new ground with that technique...LOL...you can't look at yourself in the mirror and have the same interaction like with a person you just met...that's the challenge as you never know what the outcome will be...you in the mirror...thats not practice to approaching but will help you see what you look like when you speak and if you make funny faces...then perhaps start with correcting that.

No to poke fun but there is nothing like in field experience and you will hear that from every GURU out there...I just came from a seminar and big names all said the same thing...infield is where it starts!
Author:  theindiankid [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:30 am ]
Post subject:  I just dont
I just personally talk to her generally then about things happening!
Author:  Keksman [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 5:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Practice is key, with public speaking and with PU. Still, I can give you a few more specific pointers. First and foremost, consciously slow down your speech. You'd be shocked, how much more time you have when your mouth isn't moving faster than your brain. Not only will this cut down the white noise coming out of your mouth, it will also project confidence and give you more time to take cues from your audience. You may think this will give you time to develop worrying thoughts, but try it and you will see that it improves conversation/public speaking. Second, develop a comfort with silences. In public speaking, insert pauses deliberately, in PU don't think you have to fill every moment with babble. Even better, if she does that, you've got a solid IOI. Third, you can distract yourself from your nervousness by adopting a "we are fucking tonight" frame. She will pick up on it, but not necessarily know what to make of it. This in turn will intrigue her, and you won't be the one trying to keep the conversation going.

Hope this helps.
Author:  kzuu [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It happens because you are nervous. Try to be calm as easy as it sounds.
But sometimes it happens when I feel confident?
Quote:
Look at it this way, what do you say to your friends or do you even ever run out of things to say to them? That is how it should flow...exercises to try...engage in conversation with any and everyone. Push your limits to speak and be more confident with what you say with everyone, trust me, it's easier said than done.
Well said, it doesn't happen with my friends like this, do you have any advice on how to get into that mindset? Do you pretend you've known them for a long time or something?

Maybe I'm just overthinking while speaking...
Author:  tedwood [ Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It happens because you are nervous. Try to be calm as easy as it sounds.

Look at it this way, what do you say to your friends or do you even ever run out of things to say to them? That is how it should flow...exercises to try...engage in conversation with any and everyone. Push your limits to speak and be more confident with what you say with everyone, trust me, it's easier said than done.

With girls, you have to probe and find that interest that you both share, once you do, she will feel a connection because you share something in common...but if you ramble about non-sense or just don't say anything...then you are just plain WEIRD! There is more to this if you look around on the forum but I think this is a good starting point for you, now, if you can't do this, then you have work to do.
I disagree when you say silence is bad and weird as you put it. In fact its a good thing as it allows you to build sexual tension. If anyone here has ever read 60 years challenge they will see that silence builds up sexual tension while giving her eye contact. The one who is seen as most attractive is the one who doesn't yield to the tension and break the silence, eye contact or pull a stupid joke. Opening doesn't mean anything, you also have to test the kino before you even stand a chance knowing whether she likes you or not. Don't be intimidated by the silence heck even do it to make her tense so she feels attraction for you.
Author:  cedius [ Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Ok Mr Ted...I see you point and you are right, yes...you can build tension but only after you have sparked some attraction. Not to say you can't do it right away, but you do have to say something and it needs to have a big impact, you have to be confident as FUCK and fast for sexual tension to brew so quickly within her.

My point was after the initial approach or right after approaching, when you run out of things to say and you just to start to ramble. We have all been there when we are talking and you can see the interest start to spin out of control in a bad way. That's what can really make someone not want to do that again and it's then when you have to push yourself that much harder.

His question was about confidence on how to be comfortable...my initial thought was, how do you feel when you are talking with friends...should be the same. Now...if you do or say something dumb, your friends may call you on it...I know I would...when talking with a girl, she most likely will not but that's where she will lose interest and want to leave.

Once she is hooked, then yes...mellow out and build that tension...it's then, quiet can be a useful tactic.

Quote:
It happens because you are nervous. Try to be calm as easy as it sounds.
I never said it was easy to be calm, even now I still get nervous...it's why I said "TRY"...It can and will take hundreds of sets and even then, you will be nervous. The best you can do is TRY, unless someone else has something better and I know someone does..

:D
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