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The affect of sex on a first date
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Author:  THaywood [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 2:06 am ]
Post subject:  The affect of sex on a first date

No, im not writing this to brag about getting sex on the first date last night.... im sure its nothing to most of you anyway.
But well a girl (hb8) who ive liked for a bit split up with her ex a couple of weeks ago, I went to La Tasca with her it went well and I f-closed her back at her flat. Now, im still only 19, Ive had my fair share of sexual encounters, but only with ex's or one night stands.... ive never f-closed a girl on the first date.... my question is, if im looking for a relationship with this girl, will the fact we had sex on the first date be a hinderance or will it be a positive.
I know she likes me a bit and the date went well, but i'd be more inclined to say that it happened as she was horny and I got her feeling a bit sensual, rather than because she fancies the pants of me.
I think theres 2 possibilties of the affect this will have, either she'll see me as a player and not boyfriend material (which i'd like to be) as I had no intention of making her wait for it.
Or it will help us connect further as we'll be even more comfortable around each other since its happened early.

Basically is sex at a really early stage good for a relationship... as I want more than a one night stand with her, I think i hinted this by talking about a second date.

Author:  bowlie [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:32 am ]
Post subject: 

If she just broke up maybe she is just looking for a fling? It could be good, could be bad. Just don't push her for sex the second time you see her

Author:  tedwood [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 12:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The affect of sex on a first date

Firstly you say that you want to be seen as a player and not boyfriend material. You then go on to state that you want more than a one night stand with her.
If you just want lots of dates then it's best to obviously have this player charm about you but now you know she's attracted to you try and connect more or build more comfort. I would also advise you to try and tell her you don't want a relationship but want to continue dating her, at least then you're being truthful and don't end up hurting her if she was expecting different.

Author:  THaywood [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 5:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The affect of sex on a first date

Quote:
Firstly you say that you want to be seen as a player and not boyfriend material. You then go on to state that you want more than a one night stand with her.
If you just want lots of dates then it's best to obviously have this player charm about you but now you know she's attracted to you try and connect more or build more comfort. I would also advise you to try and tell her you don't want a relationship but want to continue dating her, at least then you're being truthful and don't end up hurting her if she was expecting different.
No i worded that badly... when i said "(i'd like to be)" i meant i'd like to be boyfriend material for her, and not be seen as a player. Im looking for a relationship with her, and i definately dont want to hurt her.But im just worried she'll wont see me as boyfriend material now.

Author:  here2play [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 5:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

If you want to be boyfriend material then be boyfriend material and treat her as girlfriend material also.

Ask her out on dates. Don't treat her like a slut or a fuck buddy or FWB. Get to know each other and do other things together that a BF/GF would do.

Don't contact her only when your dick is hard and do not push things into a sexual frame right off the bat every time you contact her.

Do have some flirtations and banter but don't treat her as if it is all just about the sex. Treat her as a whole human being and show yourself as a whole human being too. (and whole human beings are sexual, they are just a whole lot more than that also)

Don't be a spineless, supplicating AFC and put your balls on the shelf, but do court her and woo her in a sincere manner.

Pursue your true inner desire. If you sincerly want to pursue this as a potential relationship then do it. You have already had sex so you know that she is a sexual being and that you were able to attract her sexually even if that one place in time.

She may not see you as relationship material but if you don't try you will never know. But IMHO all women do want to have a special someone in their lives so it will not hurt anything to make an honest try of it.

Author:  THaywood [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 7:12 pm ]
Post subject: 

cheers mate, that seems to make good sense to me.

EDIT: but can anyone say what she might be thinking? From the girls point of view.
If she thinks she acted in an 'easy' manner, will she feel the need to make her feel better about herself by making this into a relationship? or do not all girls think like that?

Author:  or89921 [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:58 pm ]
Post subject: 

i had the same thing happen to me first date f close and i tried to make her a girlfriend.. you gotta understand you cant make a whore a house wife and i learned that first hand... i fucked mine 15+ times, and went on 10+ dates to realize that..we dated for about a month ish. good luck to you

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