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doubting the community
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=82682		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  koobay [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:51 am ]
Post subject:  doubting the community
Im doing everything i should in social situations. i try to open conversations and vibe, show magic tricks and demonstrate value, i neg and i try to kino, i try everything but nothing works and other guys dont even talk to girls and the girls come to them. im still not able to control situations, and they instead control me. ive been working extremely hard at this pickup stuff for a while now and it just isnt working and im getting to the point where i doubt the legitimacy of the community. maybe the AFCs are right and only certain guys get the girls. it certainly seems like that to me right now and im beginning to think the community is a fraud and all the advice i got was useless. i mean i read books, watched gamblers videos, signed up for the real social dynamics newsletter, and i try everything i learn, but nothing works for me. idk what to do right now someone please give me some advice that actually helps.
Author:  DboTheHero [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:05 am ]
Post subject: 
If you go out with the mindset that the stuff you have learnt won't work, it won't work. You need to be congruent and adopt these techniques into your personality - don't simply repeat the openers or negs you have read, just incorporate them into a confident personality. Believe in yourself, not the material. YOU are the business, not this PUA stuff.

Not even the best PUAs hit it off with every girl or every social situation. Just stick at it and learn from every single social interaction you have.

And, IMO, I would ditch the magic tricks, they can seem a bit attention seeking. Only my opinion ofc.

~Deebo
Author:  pleasureseeker [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:07 am ]
Post subject: 
it's not just looks trust me, I know some extremely attractive guys who still have problems with women. In fact hot girls like 8;s even 9s i've seen approach my friends to dance in clubs. My friends do manage to number close girls who approach them but the girls usually flake out later. Maybe try other approaches besides the MM, and honestly don't do magic tricks, that maybe worked with mystery but he's a mpua. I would just use normal conversational routines, and if your NOT dominating the social situation you need more practice, It happens to me a lot where I start off good, then something I didn't expect happens and I kind of turn off in the conversation.
Author:  Solteris [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 4:33 am ]
Post subject: 
Over the years, I've been abandoning more and more from what I've learned from these "mPUA's" out there and just ran with it, and i've been doing alot better. Not just because I was looking for results, I didn't worry about getting them.

Bitches.Love.Confidence.

Our own drive to succeed causes us to over play our hands and fuck up our chances. You said it yourself,
Quote:
i try everything but nothing works and other guys dont even talk to girls and the girls come to them

Quote:
im still not able to control situations, and they instead control me
Maybe we get too caught up in this "Game" and we stress out over situations that dont need to be, if you're a confident man and able to handle yourself in situations (Not Control, but to worry about your own comfort and happiness) then that's the biggest step towards attraction. You'll feel a hell of a lot better too.

I got out and "sarge" less and less now, but im still very much aware of all the rules and regulations of this sport. I only really engage women on that level when I get IOI's already and find her interesting, going out and getting women to like me all the time was self destructive and I was doing it ALL the time, just for validation.
Author:  Wagon [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: doubting the community
Quote:
Im doing everything i should in social situations. i try to open conversations and vibe, show magic tricks and demonstrate value, i neg and i try to kino, i try everything but nothing works and other guys dont even talk to girls and the girls come to them. im still not able to control situations, and they instead control me.
Have you tried not doing fucking magic tricks? Do you even like magic? Jesus.
Quote:
ive been working extremely hard at this pickup stuff for a while now and it just isnt working and im getting to the point where i doubt the legitimacy of the community. maybe the AFCs are right and only certain guys get the girls. it certainly seems like that to me right now and im beginning to think the community is a fraud and all the advice i got was useless. i mean i read books, watched gamblers videos, signed up for the real social dynamics newsletter, and i try everything i learn, but nothing works for me. idk what to do right now someone please give me some advice that actually helps.
Actually, certain guys do get the girls. Guys that aren't whinny pussies have a big head start. These certain guys are not born, they are made, one shaky step at a time on the journey to manhood.

I understand that this is an emotional, personal pursuit for any individual. I further understand that things probably haven't been going well, considering that you felt compelled to seek out the community in the first place, and that you created this thread. You want some honest advice?

1) Develop a joyous satisfying life independent of whether or not some beezy is picking up what you're putting down. I'm serious about this, women are fucking awesome, sex, companionship, the chase, it's all great, but these things are not all that your life has to offer.

2) Face adversity with courage and perseverance, don't set unrealistic expectations for yourself and then use them as a rationale to quit pursuing your goals

3) Seek out information but don't shirk the responsibility of learning for yourself what works for you and what doesn't, developing charisma is different than building a model airplane, everyone takes a different course.

You can succeed in this endeavor, many before you have felt the same frustration and bitterness you describe (myself included) and triumphed over the obstacles that presented themselves, you can do this too.

Good luck man
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you search back about 1.5-2 years ago, there's a post by me where I essentially say the same thing as part of a giant rant against "the community."

At the time, I'd put over a year's work into learning MM3 like the back of my hand, and was barely getting results at all. When I did get anything, it seemed more like blind luck than actually using "material."

I though that it was probably down to the fact that I just wasn't good looking enough to use this stuff. It wasn't for me. I would have to go SUPER indirect and really display my AMAZING personality in order for girls to like me.

NOW, I walk up to girls and tell them they're hot. I look exactly the same, and now I'm pumping 8s and 9s all the freaking time. What happened? I found a method I feel really congruent with and I go into every interaction with 100% CONFIDENCE in myself. If a girl isn't interested, I know within a minute, but about half the time I n-close in about 5 minutes.

You know what?

It's not the community's fault that you're not getting results.

IN FACT

It's not the community's fault when you DO get results!

The only factor is YOU.

You say you've watched some Gambler and some RSD. Well, those are very different styles and it would be difficult for you to be congruent with both. They are also both INdirect methods. Maybe you should search around for methods that are really congruent with your personality, or at least the kind of person you'd LIKE to be.

There are a million reasons why you might not be getting the results you want - how's your health and fitness, body language, voice tonality, etc. Are you being a social leader, are you displaying attractive qualities like humour, intelligence and confidence? Are you dressing well, eating right, and do you have goals in life that you're going some way towards achieving?

You don't need ALL of these things to be PERFECT, but you need to have some of them up to a fairly good level to look like the kind of guy a girl would want to fuck.

Your friends who get approached by girls without doing anything? They probably just look like they're having a fun time and are social and cool. They stand out, and girls are naturally attracted to them. You're probably looking around for "sets to open," and therefore getting in your head wondering about what "opener to use" instead of just having a laugh with your friends.

Next time, focus on just having a good time. Don't specifically look around for girls. If one of them comes over and opens your friend, find her friends and open THEM. You can make light of the fact that their friend was the only one who had the courage to approach your friends, so she must be the party girl and they're the shy ones.

OR you can stay in the group having fun and just casually scan the room whilst smiling / laughing. When you make eye contact with a girl, HOLD IT whilst smiling or waving or something. If she smiles back or waves or blushes or breaks eye contact downwards and then looks again, just go straight in there direct "I couldn't have you making eyes at me all night so I thought I'd come over and say hi"

OR be with your friends having a fun time, and just wheel around to sets in proximity with "hey! are you guys fun?" with a big smile. Who the FUCK is gonna say "no" to that?

HAVE FUN
DON'T BE A PUSSY

p.s. Magic is gay
Author:  Carmo [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
BE NORMAL!!!! Seriously, who does magic tricks? That might be mystery's thing but if I'm a hot girl and a guy starts doing magic tricks for me i would probably think he's a creepy weirdo. Not only is it just weird, but it is a terrible frame to have. Its the same as buying a girl drink which basically says "hey i dont have enough value to just talk to you so can i buy your time with this drink and or magic trick"?

How long have you been in the game? Have you tried just going out and trying to just have FUN without having an agenda? Unless you really are congruent with MM its going to feel weird to the girl. Look at the basic fundamentals of MM and pickup in general such as being a challenge, owning the frame, not giving girls exactly what they want, being elsuive and mysterious, being fun and playfull, etc and just incorporate them into your normal personality.

The first 6 months to a year in the game i really didn't have great results, then i said fuck lines, fuck routines, fuck all that stuff and just started going out and having the most fun i could have with my friends and i dont really care if i hookup or not. You know what happend? My success skyrocketed! Nowadays I go out every weekend, not use a single dam line, just have fun with my friends and can pretty much guarantee i will be having a fun, crazy night and more often than not hooking up with a new girl.

work on ACTUALLY becoming an attractive guy instead of just pretending to be one. And when i say attractive, i'm not talking about looks.
Author:  mattdub1 [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
I came to a conclusion long ago, and it has really served me over the years:

Don't learn ANYTHING from a guy who paints his nails.

Guys aren't supposed to paint there nails. That's just gay.


All good advice in this thread. +1000
Author:  RVAIS [ Sat Jan 08, 2011 7:28 am ]
Post subject: 
puahate.com


the truth lies somewhere between these two communties be a "natural" dress well work on your looks "they do matter", act like most d-bags that go to clubs you'll get girls.
Author:  cerebralassassin [ Sat Jan 08, 2011 8:17 am ]
Post subject: 
theres nothing wrong with learning magic, there is however if youre learning magic with the intent to get laid. if you've read the game it says that mystery is a magician but that is something that he is comfortable with hes practised for years and it allows him to slip into a 'magicians persona' hence the name mystery, theres more to magic then just a trick, its funny i do magic but i dont when im out on a night out
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