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Girlfriend has sleepovers with other guys. Im not invited.
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Author:  Century100 [ Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:26 am ]
Post subject:  Girlfriend has sleepovers with other guys. Im not invited.
Basically my girlfriend always had these sleepovers with her friendship group, which includes

a couple
a guy
her

Now that were in a relationship, i guess I feel as though she should stop...i feel threatened in a way, especially because im not invited.

Is it normal for someone in my position to be jelous and upset? Or am I over reacting? Why exactly do i feel so terrible about the situation? I cant put my finger on it.

Is this suspicious to you and how do I handle this situation. Please no responses involving violence, it will just make me look bad.
Also, i dont want to tell her "Youre not allowed to go to these", because then she wont go strictly because i said so. Id rather her not want to go because she realises how what she is doing is weird.

Thankyou gentlemen.
Author:  minsok [ Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:46 am ]
Post subject: 
You can't tell her she's not allowed; YOU'RE not allowed to make decisions for her. You are 100% in the right to feel like something's wrong. If there's another couple there, it's unreasonable that she won't let you go. Don't assume that she's fucking around, though it's really shady. Instead, let her know you don't want a relationship where your girlfriend hides you from her friends like she's ashamed of you. If she still won't invite you, you can break up with her because she won't even try to let you in her social group. This is a much better approach than accusing her when you don't have any evidence.

It all does come down to trust though. Eventually you'll have a girlfriend that likes to go out all hours of the night to bars with her girls and you just have to let her without getting pissy about it. I don't know your girl, so I don't trust her.
Author:  GKS [ Thu Jan 06, 2011 7:34 am ]
Post subject: 
If there are a couple a guy a girl and her, it wouldn't be a problem. Just imagine if that couple go to a room to fuck each other brain out, what would your gf and the guy would be doing outside while hearing they moan? If I was that guy, I would eat your gf alive :)
Something suspicious is going on, confront her not with the excuse that she cant do it because you say so or you dont like. But rather because of her shadiness, tell her you wanna get to know her friends too, it doesnt mean you tag along everytime, just once in a while to know those ppl. Then you will be able to judge the guy, to see whether you can trust her with him.
If she refuses, just dump her. Because chance is she already fucking the guy behind your back and hiding it.
Author:  minsok [ Thu Jan 06, 2011 7:44 am ]
Post subject: 
What kind of friends do you have where you're all playing Monopoly or whatever and two of them go into the other room to screw loudly? This doesn't happen at most social gatherings. When you're older, you think it's gross and you don't really want to hang out with your friends if they've just fingered eachother/sucked eachother off, and if you're younger, the girl doesn't want to look like a total slut in front of her friends. Nice male fantasy, though. If anything, there is no couple, his girl is just having a sleepover with a guy. Sleepovers are weird anyway, how old are you?
Author:  Faust23 [ Thu Jan 06, 2011 8:29 am ]
Post subject: 
:twisted: He is pointing her legs straight to gawd If you know what I mean.

Seriously though its cheating even if she isn't screwing him. Think she would rather spend time with this guy then you. She is spending time with him talking to him when she could do that with you. Now I know you can not tell your BF/GF even Husband/wife everything but you should be open with them.

Ow God OW GOD OW GOD- is what she said with that guy.
Author:  GKS [ Thu Jan 06, 2011 8:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
What kind of friends do you have where you're all playing Monopoly or whatever and two of them go into the other room to screw loudly? This doesn't happen at most social gatherings. When you're older, you think it's gross and you don't really want to hang out with your friends if they've just fingered eachother/sucked eachother off, and if you're younger, the girl doesn't want to look like a total slut in front of her friends. Nice male fantasy, though. If anything, there is no couple, his girl is just having a sleepover with a guy. Sleepovers are weird anyway, how old are you?
Social gathering ... That's what she said isn't it ? :lol:
Author:  minsok [ Thu Jan 06, 2011 9:25 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm too old for this. You all assume she's cheating without any evidence. You can't keep an eye on your girl 24/7, at some point you have to trust her or be single forever. A male and female alone together doesn't mean sex, stop fueling the OP's insecurity with your own trust issues.

The only thing she's done wrong for sure is exclude him. It might just be the other people have met her boyfriend before, he was being an antisocial a-hole and they just don't want him to come around. He'd actually have to talk to his girl to figure it out. So, to the OP, assume you're just being paranoid and trust your girl until you have reason not to. Keep your ugly jealousy and insecurity to yourself, but confront her about why she won't let you hang out with her friends.
Author:  Riskless1 [ Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'd say you're definitely in a position to be skeptical. But there's no way you should accuse her of anything. the best bet is to meet her friends and judge if they are a threat. If you have to tell her, don't tell her that you think "x" wants to fuck her, tell her that you get a hostile vibe from him or something. Let her know that you're not too sure about the situation and hopefully she'll come around.

If it gets too much for you, dump her. Plenny mow fish in the sea.
Author:  Mind Hacker [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:23 am ]
Post subject: 
This is REALLY weird.

As guys said above you don't have proof that she's cheating.

But in your situation I'd be REALLY pissed by not getting invited.

I think you should talk to her directly about this. If she tries to hide it or make up excuses break up. You're a PUA for fuck's sake, you can find other women.

Chances are she's at least spending time with someone else (that doesn't mean sex) that she should be with you.
Author:  Afc4Life [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:46 am ]
Post subject: 
I would confront her with you having a problem with it. Don't tell her you think shes cheating, just let her know it makes you uncomfortable. Im sure if you were to tell her you're going to sleep at some girls house with another couple she would be all up in your ass about it.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 4:14 am ]
Post subject: 
am i the only one who thinks he should have innocent sleepovers with another girl while his girlfriend is doing this? :D

hey, it's no big deal, right? just find some chick, or better yet, a couple of chicks. invite them over for movies and monopoly and pizza and "truth or dare". you guys can stay up all night doing eachothers nails and telling ghost stories.

oh yeah, then bang them both alive in a horribly awesome threeway! bwahahaha
Author:  Wagon [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 5:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Piling on, something is seriously wrong here (at least as serious as some beezy cheating on her boyfriend can be).

1) Why wouldn't you be welcome?

2) Fucking sleepovers? Are you kidding?

3) She doesn't even have enough respect for you to bullshit you about there being more people there other than her, whoever is fucking her, and the other couple? If I were you I'd be insulted by this lack of effort alone.

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it's a cheating whore girlfriend.

I don't like rash reactions, even more so when they result from incomplete information (like one side of a story being told on a message board), but despite all this I'm going to come out and say that my gut tells me that your 'relationship' is finished. Normally I'm all about communication in situations like this, but I honestly think that if this girl is stupid enough to think that what you describe is OK, you're better off finding another chicka than trying to talk things out with her. I'm baffled to try and come up with an explanation that would fit the circumstances you describe and simultaneously be completely innocent.

99.999% chance that something is up, whatever she's hiding from you (even if it isn't some other dude's cock slamming her) is probably pretty fucked.

Are you guys in an open relationship or something? This makes 0 sense.
Author:  minsok [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks everybody, for repeating what I said in quintruplicate. Looks like we beat the bricks off it. The girl could have numerous reasons for not wanting him there, it's all speculation, only the girl has the answer and considering the OP never came back, we should help someone else.
Author:  burton555 [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 5:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
This is REALLY weird.

As guys said above you don't have proof that she's cheating.

But in your situation I'd be REALLY pissed by not getting invited.

I think you should talk to her directly about this. If she tries to hide it or make up excuses break up. You're a PUA for fuck's sake, you can find other women.

Chances are she's at least spending time with someone else (that doesn't mean sex) that she should be with you.
This. Or what Mack said haha, he had a pretty ingenious idea. I'm in high school also, "sleepovers" could easily mean tons of sexual encounters. I dated a girl sort of similar for a short time, and I regret letting her yank me around. So if I were you, I'd break up with her just for the idea of having some guy sleepover instead of me, the boyfriend. Unless this is her best friend since she was in diapers, why would she want him over more than you? Also, have you slept over her house ever?
Author:  F. [ Fri Jan 07, 2011 7:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm really sorry for you, but i feel the need to point out to you guys that this would totally make a fucking great opener.
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