PUA Forum :: Ive become too much of an asshole

My whole life up to before learning game i was always the nice guy but the last two years or so ive worked so hard at becoming a challenge, not afc, non needy, etc that ive literally become an asshole. Especially lately, ive noticed that ive become way too much of a dick when i am out meeting girls. This definitely works on some girls, usually the freaks with low self esteem but ive noticed that ive been loosing sets because of this.

Anybody become so jaded by the whole game they have become an asholish prick? I mean i thought i am just fun and playfull but being called an asshole 10 times in the last week has got me thinking.

I hate to say it but i might have to look back to my old nice guy ways and try to find a balance. Maybe try and connect with each girl i meet. Never thought this would become a sticking point..

Author:	Carmo [ Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Ive become too much of an asshole
My whole life up to before learning game i was always the nice guy but the last two years or so ive worked so hard at becoming a challenge, not afc, non needy, etc that ive literally become an asshole. Especially lately, ive noticed that ive become way too much of a dick when i am out meeting girls. This definitely works on some girls, usually the freaks with low self esteem but ive noticed that ive been loosing sets because of this. Anybody become so jaded by the whole game they have become an asholish prick? I mean i thought i am just fun and playfull but being called an asshole 10 times in the last week has got me thinking. I hate to say it but i might have to look back to my old nice guy ways and try to find a balance. Maybe try and connect with each girl i meet. Never thought this would become a sticking point..

Author:	Fireball [ Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:49 pm ]
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I was dating a hot pole dancer for a while, she was always complaining about how I'm an asshole and why I can't be nice to her. One day we went out and I was really nice to her, and I told her I only mess with her because I like her. (I was also a bit of a wuss, letting her choose the restaurant we were going to, etc.) She never answered my calls since. But fair enough, I don't like being called an asshole either, and I do miss being nice to girls. So I agree with you. We have to find the balance. I think David Deangelo hits a good sort of balance in his Double your Dating book, where he says he will open doors for a woman, but he won't be excessively nice to her. He mixes it up, so if she sits on his lap sometimes he pushes her off and sometimes he cuddles her. Keep it random. Fact: Randomness is addictive. People keep coming back for the unexpected. That's why so many people are addicted to slot machines. That's why people spend 15 hours nonstop killing monsters in World of Warcraft because there's a 0.1% chance of finding treasure X when you kill monster Y.

Author:	imprint [ Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:50 pm ]
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Well, usually if a girl calls you an asshole while shes laughing, you should be fine. If you say something that is deliberately meant to piss her off or seems like it, thats not fine. Thats not being a challenge, thats being an asshole. PUA doesn't necessarily have to involve negs, or anything of the sort. Many times, being confident, and being nice is perfectly fine. As long as you don't throw yourself out at the girl, you're pretty much being non-needy. However, this has happened to a lot of people. I mean, things I thought were teases in the beginning, girls took seriously. As long as you make it sound like your joking, and you tease them on something they are not extremely sensitive about, you should be fine with the "negging." You should know what to tease about, and the more you do it the better you will be. I'm not exactly an expert myself, but maybe you could work on your delivery?

Author:	Carmo [ Wed Dec 29, 2010 6:05 pm ]
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I mean at the time it didn't bother me too much at all so at least i kept my frame, im just looking back and seeing a pattern form here that isn't too good. I dont think i neg too much, its more just like my overall attitude. Its like you become so aware of shit tests, and not buying into the girls frame, not buying them drinks, being a challenge, etc that you forget to be normal and connect with her. Dont get me wrong, i am still having some great success, but id like to get this worked out.

Author:	DboTheHero [ Wed Dec 29, 2010 9:57 pm ]
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Remember it's push, pull. Neg and be the challenge, but reward her IOIs sometimes and give her a little bit. I agree with Fireball, be random, don't be afraid to be the nice guy occasionally. ~Deebo

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Author:	mcare [ Wed Dec 29, 2010 10:22 pm ]
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"Be random" is worst possible adivce. People in general want to know what to expect from things in life. From people, from businesses they're visiting, from services etc. Best businesses are built on the fact that you will get exact same service everytime you walk in. People want that and it's proven on LARGE scale. It's the same with people. We all have assholes in our life. And when you need to socialize with him you know he'll be an asshole and you accept it. If you would have someone in your life that would make you guess what kind of interacition you can expect anytime you pick up your phone you would probably keep your interaction to absolute minimum. Imagine trying to date a woman that would be very naughty on the first date and on the second date disgusted when you try to be flirty. You would think she's crazy. If you're being asshole you'll attract girls that fall for this type of behavior and if you're being nice you'll get girls that are looking for nice guys. Why the hell would you want to change this next time you meet her.

Author:	DboTheHero [ Wed Dec 29, 2010 10:46 pm ]
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I somewhat disagree with you mcare, but not entirely. I believe that being random and using the push/pull techniques with women you form a spontaneous personality that will keep them interested. And being random doesn't mean being an asshole. But I do agree with you that people do want some feeling of security in knowing what to expect from people, I just think that this comes in later on when a relationship has already been formed, not in the early stages of attraction. ~Deebo

Author:	Fireball [ Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:10 am ]
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Quote: "Be random" is worst possible adivce. People in general want to know what to expect from things in life. Women say they want a nice guy that treats them well and buys them nice things, but we all know how that works out. Kids love raisins in cereal, but if you give them a bag of raisins, what do you think they'll do? They'll eat about 5 raisins, and then get bored of them and move on. My point is: If you take what somebody says they want and spoon-feed it to them in its purified form, they will get bored of it very quickly. Hence you mix it up, just like raisins in cereal.

Author:	imprint [ Thu Dec 30, 2010 1:04 am ]
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I don't think "random" is a good way to put it. Fireball, you have the right idea. However, I would use the word "mysterious." Remember, you want the girl to be able to trust you, and so she should have a clue on how you would react to things. However, with mystery, she can have this illusion of trust yet not know completely who you are. Being "random" works to an extent, but like everything else in game, if you over exaggerate it, you can just turn into some bipolar dude. Like being an asshole one minute, and then being nice the next just makes you look emotionally unstable. However, you don't want to be completely consistent either. That's just boring. Agree with Dbo.

Author:	mcare [ Thu Dec 30, 2010 1:40 am ]
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I agree with both of you. My bad english is a problem with this topics. It's a big difference between being random (and this is a problem) and showing a girl that she can expect different shades of you. Probably the best way to put it is that you need to react the same way in same situation. A confident person has standards and will react in specific situation the same way every time. Everything else just shows her that you are trying to react as "you should". Being random is getting in same situation twice and reacting in differently.

Author:	_Jax_ [ Thu Dec 30, 2010 7:03 am ]
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I remember a girl who called me an asshole and a jerk all the time. One day I told her if Im being such an asshole and you dont like I can just be a nice guy like everyone else. (yes that is an AFC thing. Now I say "so what?" and move on.) She told me to keep being an asshole because If I was nice I would be to easy.

Author:	Mind Hacker [ Thu Dec 30, 2010 2:35 pm ]
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You first need to understand if she really means it. I've had girls calling me asshole, but they kept coming for more, so she was liking it! The minute I'd turn into a nice guy they would leave. So, really think about how she's responding, not what she's telling you verbally. If you're really being an asshole just tune up the playful side of you to calibrate it.

Author:	NoMoreMrNiceGuy [ Thu Dec 30, 2010 3:13 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Ive become too much of an asshole
Quote: My whole life up to before learning game i was always the nice guy but the last two years or so ive worked so hard at becoming a challenge, not afc, non needy, etc that ive literally become an asshole. Especially lately, ive noticed that ive become way too much of a dick when i am out meeting girls. This definitely works on some girls, usually the freaks with low self esteem but ive noticed that ive been loosing sets because of this. Anybody become so jaded by the whole game they have become an asholish prick? I mean i thought i am just fun and playfull but being called an asshole 10 times in the last week has got me thinking. I hate to say it but i might have to look back to my old nice guy ways and try to find a balance. Maybe try and connect with each girl i meet. Never thought this would become a sticking point.. If a woman calls you an asshole and still runs back to you, you have her where you want her. What she's really saying is " My logical brain doesn't like you but you turn me on and I can't take it" I have been a nice guy for waay to long and it never had results. Now I know how the game works and I promise you that in 2011 I'll be more of a dick than you can ever imagine. To women that is. I don't want 1 more woman in my friend circle. The only reason I used to let some in, is because I feared coming out of the comfort zone. Women crave dicks and jerks because they are indifferent and ballsy. Keep playing your game

Author:	Carmo [ Thu Dec 30, 2010 3:19 pm ]
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It depends on the girl. Some girls you can literally see the excitement spark in their eyes when you ramp up the asshole and some girls it puts them off. If i have an ongoing relationship its not really an issue, its more in the first 20 minutes that its make or break.

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