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Trying to see where I screwed up
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Author:  hendrix513 [ Wed Dec 15, 2010 4:13 am ]
Post subject:  Trying to see where I screwed up

I'm new to this site; I'm posting because I recently got a rejection from a girl (I suppose we'd call her a 9) I'd been going after for a couple of weeks and I have a feeling I shot myself in the foot, I'm looking for advice as to where I messed up. This is kind of long but I figure I want to give all relevant details.

The backstory is that I met this girl about a month ago by approaching her on campus. I immediately got mixed signals because on the one hand, she was very flirty, at least from my p.o.v., when I met her, and when I texted her, telling her that she should let me take her on a date, she texted me back "absolutely". On the other hand, after she told me she was single and I made a joke about not wasting my time, she mentioned that she didn't think she was looking for a bf but loved to make friends, or some shit like that, and made a point to mention that she was generally a busy person.

So I decided to give it a shot, but after a week I had pretty much given up. She was good about texting me back when I asked her to do stuff but she was always busy. About two weeks later I gave her a call, and surprisingly, she picked up and we set a date for the next day. Unsurprisingly, she flaked but we rescheduled for lunch a couple days later.

The date actually went really well. It was casual; she was clearly very comfortable and much more interesting than I thought she was, and she made various references to wanting to see me more and all that. At the end I got a kiss on the cheek, and we made vague plans to hang out again in a week or so. I made a serious goal of seeing her once more before we both went away for winter break.

We talked the next day, she was working the night that I was free, but she was going to text me after work if she wasn't too tired to hang out. I texted her that day telling her to let me know either way; she never got back to me. I tried calling or texting every 2-3 days but got no response, granted, this was finals week so people are pretty busy. Eventually I gave her an ultimatum text: I needed to know soon if she was just just not interested or if I should get back to her later. She quickly replied that she was "just not looking for anything right now" and that she wasn't interested.

So that's it. It's possible that she really is uninterested in seeing anyone, but of course it's far more likely that she either was never as keen on me as I thought or that I was not as patient as I thought I was and ended up being too aggressive. I'm not too upset and I'm not trying to get her back, but I put a decent amount of effort into seeing her and I don't want to make the same mistakes again.

Author:  12gage [ Wed Dec 15, 2010 4:18 am ]
Post subject: 

you came off way to strong you got to make them chase you, she saw that she could walk all over you and that she already had you, have to make them work a bit, we are the alpha males they are the meat

Author:  LD [ Wed Dec 15, 2010 8:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Trying to see where I screwed up

Quote:
I made a joke about not wasting my time, she mentioned that she didn't think she was looking for a bf but loved to make friends,

That was already very clear. She doesnt want a bf. So she wants to be single. What is it you can a lot when you are single?

The date was good, so there was at least a little bit of interest. Your ultimatum text was bad. She already told you she isnt looking for something like a relationship.

So to me it seems like you have been 'aggressive' in the wrong way. This one wants sex for the time she is single. You did not make clear to her that only sex is also ok. In this case, i would have been more direct. Telling her she is very hot and sexy, and flirt on a highly sexual level. when you presume people are busy, leave them alone. Like in their finals or if you know they need to study, leave them be. Its annoying.

better luck next time

ciao!

Author:  tieen [ Wed Dec 15, 2010 8:51 am ]
Post subject: 

I would say like that ... girls dont really know what they want. If she says she doesnt want a relationship thats not true. Fuck her good and she will always want your surrounding she cant just not get in loved with someone who she really liked, give her a good reason then she will. If you impressed her she will want to meet you again, be with you.

You chased her and become uninteresting. You should have told her, huh I aint looking for a relationship with you also and then she would start asking herself hm... this guy wants to be friends, why just that ? This is something what I think DeAngelo or BradP teaches and I think many others also.

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