I'm going to discuss an issue that I'm not sure is at all common or not. It seems at though this is one thing that isn't brought up much in the PU community but I'm starting to realize it's presence and question a cure. It's also very hard to really explain so it could very possibly be beyond most people grasp but I want to throw it out there and see what you all have to say.
I'm be no means a PUA or anywhere close to being one. I'm a whopping 5'4 at a hefty 125 lbs, was raised in prime breeding grounds for low self-esteem, and was one of the most socially awkward kids one may ever have the pleasure of meeting. The thought of speaking to stranger was petrifying to say the least and at 16 I found shelter in my first long term relationship. After using her as a leaning pillar throughout the death of my father and the 4 years that followed I had a rude awakening when she dumped my ass.
Now this has nothing to do with her but is simply setting up the plot for where I am now. Afterwords my next place of refuge was online dating, digging into the PU community, and eventually drunken nights at clubs and titty bars. Soon after I was hired as a salesman for a retail store (ironic I know) and ever since my life has changed. I've slowly become more confident, social, and comfortable in my own skin. This doesn't mean I have become a master with women though simply because there is one thing holding me back..
Anxiety.
Not social anxiety, this is where it gets twisted. I get so easily attached anytime a girl shows any sign of attraction. Anytime I find a sliver of hope in a woman, in my mind, she suddenly becomes the prime occupation of my mind above work and above school. I become anxious when she doesn't respond and a nervous wreck trying to figure out in my mind how she really feels. I simply can't seem to manage my emotions and all logic towards how I live my life in respect to the women involved in it has gone out the window. I'm out of places to turn now so finally my question is, how the hell can I keep from getting so overly attached and concerned about the condition of my love life? I feel like it defines me and floods every corner of my mind. As awful as it sounds I feel like if I come somehow just be cold and not give a damn how women feel about me not only would I be in a more relaxed state of mind but I'd have the attractive lifestyle we all desire. Maybe it does link back to this feeling of insecurity that I'm unlovable and each and every opportunity I get to have a relationship may be my last. Crazy, I know.
Kudos if you've read this far and if you can manage to respond constructively then you're a God sent.
Happy Hunting,
-Lux-
