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Author:  rakana [ Wed Dec 08, 2010 6:43 am ]
Post subject:  Facebook?

Hey, I'm kinda new here and maybe some background is in order before I ask a question. I am in high school and well being teenagers, I find facebook a convenient place to game girls for a number of reasons, 1. I have time to think responses through, 2. Things are a lot more relaxed, and I don't feel pressured, and 3. It's much easier to talk to girls I don't usually talk to with the excuse of "help with homework". Facebook also has a number of disadvantages as well such as no in person interaction, and virtually no chance for kino (unless you use it to meet up). What I was wondering was if there was any way to talk to girls out of your "clique" or people you don't usually talk to without it being awkward, or to break some sort of social barrier entirely through a handful of letters typed on a screen, or if there was an easier way to do this in real life. Any help would be appreciated, Thanks!!

Author:  bowlie [ Wed Dec 08, 2010 4:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

personaly i try to stear away from facebook / txting when i can. for one thing you cant make the delivery as good so you are at a disadvantage. personaly i think it makes a girl think you are too scared to talk to them in person and thirdly you dont get time to practice your 1 2 1 skills in real life conversations. but the biggest problem is what you mentioned. girls think 'why is this guy talking to me out of the blue'. because you have no way to open with a situational opener. just my $0.02

Author:  farismagic [ Wed Dec 08, 2010 4:30 pm ]
Post subject: 

You just have to connect and not be judgmental, because you don't want them to feel uncomfortable. for example if a new person in the set says that shes 20 and she has a kid, to connect and build rapport you can be like... Oh a friend of mine has a kid too shes at a young age like ur self..she says its the most fulfilling thing in her life.. she was stressed out before but when that thing came out it was so nice and fulfilling and now she felt that she has a reason to live again. THIS is an example that shows you how to connect and build rapport with new people in the set or target's friend shows your understanding and comforting. But i don't recommend facebook i don't think of it as socializing because its very difficult to put feelings into what you are saying

Author:  LD [ Wed Dec 08, 2010 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Facebook?

Quote:
Hey, I'm kinda new here and maybe some background is in order before I ask a question. I am in high school and well being teenagers, I find facebook a convenient place to game girls for a number of reasons, 1. I have time to think responses through, 2. Things are a lot more relaxed, and I don't feel pressured, and 3. It's much easier to talk to girls I don't usually talk to with the excuse of "help with homework". Facebook also has a number of disadvantages as well such as no in person interaction, and virtually no chance for kino (unless you use it to meet up). What I was wondering was if there was any way to talk to girls out of your "clique" or people you don't usually talk to without it being awkward, or to break some sort of social barrier entirely through a handful of letters typed on a screen, or if there was an easier way to do this in real life. Any help would be appreciated, Thanks!!
Hi.

Ok, normally i would say: talking to people is not awkward. but since you are in high school and high schools tend to have their own micro social structure, so i can understand.

Still, facebook sucks, just like any other form of the fantasy of 'online gaming'. And why? For exact all the reasons you said that are positive about facebook. You got time to think a response, its not real, its about excuses, you can hide.
If you want girls, you need to stop hiding. A good reason for talking to a girl is because you think she is hot.

There is no good way that it is easy. You want to be good with girls? Stop trying to make things easy for you. Just try to get what you want instead. And stick to it. A social barrier usual is only in your head (ok, there are exceptions in high school, i know, but still). Its up to you to face your fear and learn to deal with it. That is something you have to do yourself, no book can teach you that.

again, there is no easy way. In order to succeed, you have to be prepared to get 'shot down'. This attitude of always avoiding 'danger' will teach you nothing. Get in the line of fire like a real soldier.

best of luck

ciao

Author:  rakana [ Thu Dec 09, 2010 8:27 am ]
Post subject: 

LD: Thanks, thats some pretty good stuff. I remember reading about an "iron man" pattern from somewhere, but it basically involved pubicly humiliating yourself, so that you have tons of confidence because you know what the bottom is already, so what need is there to be afraid? Anyways, I know this kind of gets off the subject of facebook, but as far as the micro social structures are concerned ( I like to call them social hierarchies), they may exist psychologically, or may be a more "physical" matter (people beating me up for talking to "popular girls"). Although I do highly doubt physical consequences will be dealt out, the possibility is still there. Well I guess I'm saying I'm afraid in a sense, which is a problem I will deal with myself. I plan to stand in the "line of fire", however I also plan to minimize the chance of failure also. Any ideas as to how to change her frame of mind from "Who the hell is this and what the hell is he doing talking to me?", to "oh come on..don't go, I was just starting to getting to know you" I'm sorry, it seems like I'm asking for a lot, and I know it kind of gets off subject, but help would be appreciated, Thanks!!

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