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Really uncomfortable when having someone come round mine
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Author:  Pierce 007 [ Wed Dec 01, 2010 8:08 am ]
Post subject:  Really uncomfortable when having someone come round mine
Ive had a bit of luck with some online dating sites but when they do come round I feel all hotheaded and really uncomfortable(not the learning uncomfy!) and have blown it each time with not being able to do whatever is needed to to get her in the right mood.
When waiting for them to come round I feel fear (why) to the point of telling her not to come and when they do Im cacking meself!lol
Any way of getting over this or at least knowing what to do to get to the next step and what is it?
total AFC!
Author:  KristallNachte [ Wed Dec 01, 2010 9:22 am ]
Post subject: 
have a fucking plan lol

like a good date plan that can't go bad even if she hates you as a person (which she won't)

maybe later you can try for the straight up interwebs -> bedroom thing
Author:  Algorythm [ Wed Dec 01, 2010 9:34 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
When waiting for them to come round I feel fear (why) to the point of telling her not to come and when they do Im cacking meself!
Theres your problem, have you ever waited in the waiting room for an apointment or some sort? waiting it self slows your brain activity, when you wait theres a million thoughts running in your head at one time, have you ever notice this in waiting rooms?. Best thing to do is to plan, keep yourself moving on your feet by doing things before the date. If they come around to your house tidy up a few things get the thoughts out of your head when she comes around you can pretty much relax with her because all your energy has been spent on other things rather then wasting your energy thinking about your thoughts.
core-values-of-a-man-vt74322.html
This is something Ive been practicing to keep my head space clear(candle routine), it has worked well for me.
Author:  farismagic [ Wed Dec 01, 2010 10:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Really uncomfortable when having someone come round mine
practice is the solution. im starting to do this... talk to a girl the first 3 second i see

her ignore all my AA and fears. learn not to have emotions because that's DHV also

when u approach quickly you will build a crazy ass confidence
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Wed Dec 01, 2010 2:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Going over to your place as a first date is pretty high pressure. [Unless your correspondence with her beforehand has been very sexual (which I would recommend).]

I would suggest meeting her nearby, saying you need to swing by your place a sec, and then just inviting her in momentarily to drop something off at your's, so she becomes familiar and comfortable with your house. This also gives you the opportunity to DHV a little and start some conversational threads. For example, I have a few framed photos I took on a trip to India, so when I drop my bag off or whatever, I can show them to her and we can start talking about travel and stuff as we're leaving to go to the day 2 place.

Then take her out to a drink and/or a bite and/or some music or an arcade around the area. The latter is a good idea because there's things going on around you that you can comment and and joke about, and it keeps her distracted so you don't feel pressured into having to constantly "entertain" her.

My final advice would be to make a rule for yourself. Approach the first hot girl you see EVERY DAY, FOREVER. Even if it's just to say "Hi! I know this is a bit random, but I've made it a rule to always approach the first cute girl I see every day, and today you're it! Congrats!" You can then try and keep the conversation going, but you don't have to. (Today mine was like "oh, thank you!" and was beaming at me expectantly, like she was waiting for me to say something, and I was just like - "ok bye!" and ran off because it was literally so cold I couldn't stand there a second longer, haha!)

This should hopefully help you realise that girls won't DO anything bad to you if you talk to them. They won't bite your head off if you stumble over a line, or hit you or something. Social pressure and awkwardness is not a crime and the police won't be called. Start giving less of a shit. Men have been talking to and fucking women for millennia, without 'game'. We used to literally kill wild animals with spears for food or we would DIE. Is having a social interaction really THAT scary compared with being attacked by a wild boar? No. (Also hopefully talking to women in the REAL WORLD will make you realise you don't need to spend a second online trawling through the reject bin).

In conclusion:
1. PRACTICE
2. STOP BEING A PUSSY.
Author:  Pierce 007 [ Wed Dec 01, 2010 11:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ha ha hold your right hand up and say it- I SWEAR I WILL NO LONGER BE A PUSSY!
Really though until you get past this shit it does feel pretty intense. Thanks for replies from experienced guys.
I gotta find more hot babes to practise on cause theres never many in town, or at work but just another learning bit of the curve of enlightenment!
Author:  HighTide [ Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:37 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah i agree with blondguy, youre putting high expectations on yourself because maybe your over gaming for what you are ready to compensate.

Example:
You- "when i see you im gonna blah blah blah"
Her- "oh really, what else"
You- "....blah blah blah"

*You see her in person*

You know that you dont have the skills to get her into the mood so you feel ackward because you stuck your head to far up your ass and now you cant see; (I thought that was really funny as i was writing this and had to go for it) but you get the idea.
Author:  Pierce 007 [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 8:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey Ive noticed all you experienced guys use controlled aggression in the way you express yourselves. Im starting to realise Im not using any aggression at all in what I do as when I do I am all or nothing and it just comes out as violence oriented! Something Kasabian is helping me with at mo and something I must learn. actually I should be telling him this.
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 2:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
First off, you don't have to have fucked 1,000 girls to be good in bed. If you study up right, then a virgin guy can give a 35 year old cougar the most amazing orgasm of her life. Experience can help you get better, but it can also stick you in a rut of the same old routines.

What do most women want?

Well, firstly, here are the things that fundamentally don't matter that much when it comes to her being satisfied sexually - money, looks, big dick, being an asshole / being a nice guy, being a player who's fucked a lot, being inexperienced.

What she DOES want is

A man who is confident

A man who is DOMINANT - she wants to be submissive to you in the bedroom, she wants you to lead her. Just throwing her on the bed, grabbing her and pushing her into positions, spanking her, pulling her hair, is enough. You don't have to know a million different moves.

A man who tells her HOW TURNED ON SHE MAKES HIM. With all this stuff about negging and shit, you might forget, once a girl likes you, she wants to be appreciated. You think she looks fucking sexy? TELL HER. It's the truth right? It will turn her on knowing she makes you aroused. It would turn YOU on if she said she was hot for you, right?

Once she's back at your place, for whatever reason, it's ON. You both know why you're there. The longer you don't make a move when she's already putting herself on the line and already a bit worried about whether she's being too easy, or if she'll see you again, or if she's going to be attractive enough for you once her clothes are off, the longer she's going to assume the worst - that you don't actually like her, or that you're too nervous, which'll then make her nervous.

Once you've got her there, tell her how great she smells, tell her how sexy she looks tonight, how you could barely keep your hands off her earlier, how you can't wait to slowly undress her and kiss her all over her body. If you get her MIND involved long before you even get to the bedroom, you won't experience LMR because she'll WANT it so bad!

Men are worried about being too sexual and seeming creepy or even a little rapey.

Women will only mind if they're not already turned on and thus your physical advance comes out of the blue and shocks them.

If you warm them up with WORDS and IMAGES and SCENTS and TASTES and light TOUCHES first, and they're clearly into it, then that is your green-light to push her against the wall and kiss her deeply, throw her on the bed, pin her arms above her head and fuck the SHIT out of her. She LIKES IT!

In the same way that you want a girl who presents herself with grace and dignity in the outside world, but is a nasty freak in the bedroom, in the same way she wants you to be respectful to her out there, but in the context of sexual arousal, being the polite nice guy won't get you anywhere. Once you have her aroused, she WANTS you to tell her that she's your dirty little bitch. It's not just OK to do that, it'll make the sex BETTER.

That is the essence of "controlled aggression."
Author:  Algorythm [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 4:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
My final advice would be to make a rule for yourself. Approach the first hot girl you see EVERY DAY, FOREVER.
STOLEN Thanks Blond Guy! :)
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