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| most women are "AFC"-minded https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=79101 |
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| Author: | Tundra [ Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | most women are "AFC"-minded |
ill start by saying that i am no guru and i wont claim to be (as much as ive studied pickup), but as an observation ive noticed that most women in a casual setting act rather "AFC". this is sort of a revelation i had recently. what do i mean? well, i work in a popular retail clothing store that is mostly women-oriented and from my day to day observation, they tend to act in ways that you would expect an AFC to act. a lot of the things covered in this forum and by most PUAs are things that women are NOT good at. in fact, if these women were men and we were critiquing them, most of us would probably say they have a lot to work on. how so? many have trouble with eye contact. even when you are conversing with them. its not really an "interest" thing, intuitively they seem to have the same anxieties discussed around here. women probably have them as bad or worse than an "AFC". shit, this was even true for my ex in hindsight. they are not good at keeping the flow of conversations. in pickup, this is largely considered your job and women are viewed as just robots who all react to what you say and how you deliver it but in reality this is not true at all. on really extrovert women, yes it can be true, on the "average" woman, no. is it anxiety? is it their own frame? cant really say. part of this "revelation" that rang true with pickup is that it actually is your job to keep the flow of conversations not because you are trying to win them over or because you yourself are bad at it and dont want to come off AFC, but because many women just simply arent good at carrying a conversation. this goes against so much of what is said in the pua community, even my previously held beliefs. women on average are more social than men because of their role and our nature, but that doesnt mean they are goddesses at being cool. and thats probably because there is so much on night-game and bitch shields and so on, dealing with women who get hit on a lot and have their own canned material on how to deal with that sort of thing. but im willing to bet most people are not here for night/club game, they're just here to improve their social skills with women in life outside of the 4-5 hours you spend in the city on a friday night. now i can see the first objection to this analysis. "women arent looking to pickup like we are". understandable, but these are not just pickup principles. you know that naturals and people who can easily connect with others dont have these issues. they knock these things out without thinking about it, it is embedded in them with every interaction. what is the point of all this? dont put women on a pedestal. dont beat yourself up. at the same time, realize that improving your game isnt always to bring yourself up to some intangible "norm" or status, but you are covering the ground that many women cant. i think that is the difference between the men and the boys. the men realize this, and thats how you can measure their balls (insert gay joke). when someone tells you to grow a pair, do something, make the first move etc, its because MOST women dont have the natural energy to cover the spread, which ive found to be an ASSUMPTION in the pickup community for a long time (feel free to disagree). they are not as "social" as they're made out to be. and thats why they fawn over the naturals. this also changed another way i look at pickup. its EASIER to get the extrovert party girl HB10 with a few guys lined up. they give you everything. they have stories, they know how to hold a conversation. this has been viewed as INTIMIDATING but this is dead wrong! stop! these women are probably the easiest pickup in the world! they give you all the cues to be social, they talk and talk and talk, all you have to do is say the right things and play your nonverbal cards. the HARDER pickups are the girls that arent as good at these things! and if you didnt view most women as having these deficits then you probably viewed pickup the way i did, which i think is totally wrong and DETRIMENTAL to your game period. the PUA with BALLS is the guy that covers the spread! thats how you know how good they really are. THOSE guys can probably pickup ANYBODY. dont measure your balls by how well you do with HB10s, measure your progress by how well you pick up the slack for women who arent as socially in tune. i may not have parted from the ends of pickup, but i have parted from the means behind it. i hope this provided another perspective, but most importantly maybe this will change the way some of you view pickup. the extrovert HB10s are not a mountain to climb, they are a walk in the park. i also hope this removes some of the anxiety that many guys suffer from (call it "excitement" or whatever you want, i mean "being in your head" and all that jazz). you are not learning pick up to stop being a chump, you are learning it to cover most women's shortcomings. you have more power than you think, and next time you see a talkative HB10, dont panic and think about how much work you have to do, understand that they are are probably a social blessing for you. greet them with the same smile you would for somebody who just returned your wallet, because they pretty much did. look forward to the feedback. may all your ups and downs be in the bed. |
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| Author: | Keksman [ Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Lots of interesting stuff in your thread. I disagree on a few smaller points, but especially as it relates to day game situations, I think you are right. Here are a few corroborating observations: 1. Lots of women suck at EC. Often enough, I get the intentional fixed stare ahead to avoid EC. Does that mean she's not interested? Most of the time not, it just means she's tremendously insecure. Easiest way to break it? Put on a sincere smile and ask if she's smiled at a stranger today. 2. Most women, especially while shopping, are not looking to get picked-up anywhere and everywhere. So outside of night-game, some of our favorite bits, like heavy C&F, don't work as well. My main objection, however, is that women aren't as terrible at conversing, holding EC, etc. as you make them out to be. All it takes for most is to help them over their anxiety, establish some comfort, and help them forget that they are being chatted up by a stranger. Blondguy just posted something about hookpoint that applies here: reaching-the-hookpoint-vt79114.html?highlight= Good thread. |
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