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stress problem =]
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Author:  darknogo [ Mon Nov 01, 2010 5:43 pm ]
Post subject:  stress problem =]
what's up guys, i'm 21 and i'm pretty good in pickup..
i have expirence with women and once that i finish the Opener of the set, i immediatly get along and feel like i'm a part of this group and show comfort

i've noticed that sometimes in my opener i get a little excited.. my voice is trembling, my hands are a little shaky and sometimes my face turn red (very rare) :P

how do i get rid of those things.. i'm a very secured guy.. i've got guts and i've dated beautiful women.
what the hell should i do?
i'd guess you would advice me to approch more times, till i'll get used to meeting new people and feel more comfort.
Author:  Wagon [ Mon Nov 01, 2010 7:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your guess is correct, every time you challenge fear or anxiety with confidence you end up with a little less of the former and little more of the latter.

One thing that might help you relax a little bit is remembering that you're not the only person who feels somewhat anxious about social situations, especially with new people. I don't like calling the sensation we're discussing 'anxiety' as I feel that word has a fundamentally negative connotation, I prefer to refer to it as excitement, so as to focus on the positive elements of the situation.

Whatever you call it, anxiety or excitement, everyone feels it. Remember that it's normal to experience these feelings, and that they will fade with time as you begin to internalize the fact that being social and outgoing isn't nearly as dangerous or high stakes as our physiology and psyche seems to treat it. One would think walking over to someone and starting a conversation was no different than trying to kill a grizzly bear with a spear the way our bodies and minds can throw on the afterburners.

Stay the course, do your best to relax, and you will continue to succeed.

Good luck man
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