PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

"social scars" fucking me up
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=77994		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  puagunz [ Fri Oct 29, 2010 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:  "social scars" fucking me up
So Im trying to get into the pua scene you doing something about my social life, but for some reason I feel that since I have been a loser for most of my life Im destined to forever be one how can I get over this mentality?
Author:  Ezo [ Fri Oct 29, 2010 6:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Man I know exactly what you mean! I used to be the same!

There is only one way to do it. Decide.

You gotta decise that fixing this one problem is more important than staying in your comfort zone. Because frankly, your comfort zone isnt all that comfortable...
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Fri Oct 29, 2010 6:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
I used to be thin like a rake, wear awful ill-fitting clothes and felt that I was obviously ugly and destined to be so forever.

After just a few years at the gym and getting into fashion, I got comments from guys and girls about how stylish I am and how hot my body is. All I did was make a decision to change the aspects of myself I didn't like, and committed to doing what it took to follow it through.

You will not bench 250 pounds overnight, but if you take things step by step and work on every aspect from nutrition to cardio to good technique, you will get stronger and healthier, and accomplishing those goals and seeing the improvement will give you more confidence and breed more success.

In the same way, you will not be having threesomes with strippers the first time you read a chapter of the game, but if you commit yourself to doing a few approaches every day, figuring out where your sticking points are, and working on pushing every interaction as far as you can every time, you will improve and you will eventually see success.
Author:  puagunz [ Fri Oct 29, 2010 8:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Man I know exactly what you mean! I used to be the same!

There is only one way to do it. Decide.

You gotta decise that fixing this one problem is more important than staying in your comfort zone. Because frankly, your comfort zone isnt all that comfortable...
Haha that is so true, any advice on how I can step out of my comfort zone and always stay out of my head?

I think my main problem is that I have been a shy guy and I feel that I should always be shy how can I fix this?
Author:  Ezo [ Fri Oct 29, 2010 9:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
You are more than halfway there already! The most difficult thing is to admit that you have a problem.

I dealt with the problem logically. I just realized that no amount of discomfort could be worse than sucking as bad as I did for the rest of my life.

It is not easy to face fears and pain but you gotta make a choice.

I adopted a new rule for my life. For me it is unacceptable to not improve myself in any way I can. To just stay at the same level is hell, that is as I said unacceptable. So When I am faced with a difficult decision where one is not improving and the other is going through pain to improve... I dont have a choice.
Author:  hbsocal [ Thu Nov 04, 2010 5:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Same here bro, I know EXACTLY how you feel.

I'm the kind of guy that spends most of my time in my own head. And thats actually something to be proud of, and its a skill you want to keep. Most guys out there pick up girls, but they don't really know what they're doing... they just do. You have one big advantage over those guys... you can think, and therefor you can plan and make decisions that will have far better results. The key is not losing something you consider to be a curse, but rather to re purpose it, to work for you rather than against you. For me the big key to achieving this was NLP. PM me if you want some books.

So from an NLP perspective, you have to outsmart yourself to some degree. Like to avoid being discouraged, you have to set goals you can achieve. When you don't achieve your goals you feel that you failed, several failures in a row and you begin to doubt yourself. But who's to say your goals can't be dead simple like, getting rejected? First time I went sarging I had mad AA, my goal was to piss women off, get rejected, whatever. The first two were awkward, but after that I started having fun by trying to see what kind of reactions I could get, basically it was a no pressure situation, and as bad as I did, I still succeeded.
Author:  ariana [ Thu Nov 04, 2010 10:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "social scars" fucking me up
Quote:
So Im trying to get into the pua scene you doing something about my social life, but for some reason I feel that since I have been a loser for most of my life Im destined to forever be one how can I get over this mentality?
hbsocal is right, NLP can really help you think the 'right thoughts' - there are loads of NLP books and stuff

i dont know what made you have this 'mentality' - did you mum or dad or someone used to say something like 'you'll never amount to anything'? Today is the day you need to stop listening to that voice - what did they know?? who made them the expert anyway???

its quite scary to stop 'being a loser' and to try to be a winner - easier to accept what you have always been than try to be someone else and risk 'failing' - but think about the consequences - really what is the worse that can happen???

you have everything to gain, but it sounds like you havent got a great deal to lose right now

there is no such thing as destiny, or fate - you arent 'destined' to be anything at all, and certainly not a loser - you create your own life experiences - i guarantee that if you see yourself as a 'loser' you will behave like one and people will treat you accordingly

instead 'act the way you want to feel' - its much easier to directly control your actions and behaviours than your feelings. By acting as if you feel a certain way, you induce that emotion in yourself. If you feel shy, act confident and friendly. If you feel irritated, act kind. It really works and no body is any the wiser

Finally the more you practice doing this, the more natural it will come to you, until eventually it will become your nature and thus part of your real self

one of my favourite quotes by Anais Nin is : "And the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud, became more painful, than the risk it took to blossom"

This is your day. 8)
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/