PUA Forum :: Having trouble performing sexually?

Quote:

horny goatweed

lol really?

Basically you're psyching yourself out. Anytime your thoughts are "just DONT screw up," you're fucked before you start. Try and just be in the moment and enjoy it. Take things slow, touch her all over her body, kiss her, and extend the foreplay out. If you can make her cum before penetration through oral or with your fingers, then the pressure's off you anyway. Get her to go down on you after, and then get the condom ready whilst she's doing that. When you're completely hard then get it on there quick, and just think about how great it's gonna be. You can also help take your mind off it by actually dirty talking to her and saying how you can't wait to be inside her so your mind is focused on that expectation rather than the negative thoughts you have now. And don't worry, you can always go back to fingering, kissing, etc. until you're ready again, it's not like if you can't get it up immediately she's just gonna grab her shit and leave is it?

Author:	Danzella [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:20 am ]
Post subject:	Having trouble performing sexually?
This is really depressing me now, and its got to the point that I'm considering going to see a doctor about it. The last four times I've gone to have sex with a girl, I lose my erection as soon as I put on the condom. I have no problem maintaining the erection when I masturbate with a condom, but when I'm with a girl, I lose it almost instantly. The last two times were with the same girl over the course of a couple of hours, and that was incredibly embarassing. I know this happens to most guys at some point in their life, but I'm 18 and I've only had sex once, but the first time I had no problem. So why am I having this problem now? Is it caused by anxiety? Any advice would be appreciated, it's affecting my game because once I realize things could turn sexual, I back away and don't pull the trigger because of the fear I wont be able to perform like the last four times.

Author:	Dev [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 12:30 pm ]
Post subject:
I dont know how effective it is. But maybe some hypnotism. Since you get an erection on your own then its not a physical problem. Its a mental issue. Also theres some herbal remedy that I saw in a health store- its called horny goatweed. Maybe that might be worth looking into instead of going to a doctor.

Author:	Kensei [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 12:40 pm ]
Post subject:
Do you find the girls physically attractive? I'd suggest just masturbating in front of her if you can get it up normally with no girl around. The girl won't mind and will probably think it's pretty hot.

Author:	Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 12:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: horny goatweed lol really? Basically you're psyching yourself out. Anytime your thoughts are "just DONT screw up," you're fucked before you start. Try and just be in the moment and enjoy it. Take things slow, touch her all over her body, kiss her, and extend the foreplay out. If you can make her cum before penetration through oral or with your fingers, then the pressure's off you anyway. Get her to go down on you after, and then get the condom ready whilst she's doing that. When you're completely hard then get it on there quick, and just think about how great it's gonna be. You can also help take your mind off it by actually dirty talking to her and saying how you can't wait to be inside her so your mind is focused on that expectation rather than the negative thoughts you have now. And don't worry, you can always go back to fingering, kissing, etc. until you're ready again, it's not like if you can't get it up immediately she's just gonna grab her shit and leave is it?

Author:	Hankzor [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 1:55 pm ]
Post subject:
just relax, and enjoy the moment as said, if you are very tight up then from my experience i cum faster, than if i just relaxed and enjoyed actually having sex, so just enjoy the moment and relax and like said above, dont think that your gonna fuck up but set your mindset to think that your about to have some great sex now, and try not to focus too much on if your gonna cum too soon because that will maybe make you more tight up and nervous, which is not good so just relax and enjoy it. If none of these things work then try to practice your self-control by masturbating and then everytime your about to cum, stop and hold it in and everytime you pee just stop for 3 sec and then continue and then stop again untill you think it's done enough times.

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Author:	Danzella [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:46 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: horny goatweed lol really? Basically you're psyching yourself out. Anytime your thoughts are "just DONT screw up," you're fucked before you start. Try and just be in the moment and enjoy it. Take things slow, touch her all over her body, kiss her, and extend the foreplay out. If you can make her cum before penetration through oral or with your fingers, then the pressure's off you anyway. Get her to go down on you after, and then get the condom ready whilst she's doing that. When you're completely hard then get it on there quick, and just think about how great it's gonna be. You can also help take your mind off it by actually dirty talking to her and saying how you can't wait to be inside her so your mind is focused on that expectation rather than the negative thoughts you have now. And don't worry, you can always go back to fingering, kissing, etc. until you're ready again, it's not like if you can't get it up immediately she's just gonna grab her shit and leave is it? This made a lot of sense. We only really made out for about 10 minutes and that was mostly just kissing and taking each others clothes off, there wasn't any real foreplay action going on so that might have something to do with it. Thanks guys, I appreciate your help.

Author:	Atila [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:57 pm ]
Post subject:
Since the problem is not physical, the root of the problem appears to be that you have no idea what women want out of sex. You might even have the idea in your head women do not enjoy sex because that's what society teaches. Failing that means you get all nervous and when men get nervous during sex they either lose erection or start breaking new records in the shortest sex ever category. It has to do with evolutionary traits having to do with (A Lion is coming!) So those who finished early or stopped, survived. And those who weren't nervous are no longer among us, we are decendants of the nervous ones, obviously. I suggest you check out The Sex God Method ebook, that's where I read this.

Author:	Solteris [ Thu Oct 28, 2010 1:29 am ]
Post subject:
Performance Anxiety. Nothing wrong with it at all, and since you're young an inexperienced thats more than common. If I could recommend anything about it, just make the foreplay last a little longer. After a while of kissing and groping, any actual oral or insertion will feel alot more natural. Just keep at it man, it takes a time or two to fully get over it. You need to be comfortable mentally and physically when you're having sex. Dont treat the experience like a porno where you bend her over and slam her with a 15' beast, just take it slow and enjoy yourself. And I would advise not using any kind of drugs or anything of that nature to help your problem. Usually, they dont work and even if they do, you can become dependent on them. Trying to work out this problem in the most natural way will benefit you alot more than looking for a quick fix and you'll be better off down the road. Dont let a few disappointments get to you, get back out there and step up to the plate. You'll be fine in no time.

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