PUA Forum :: possible coffee date

really good advice blond.

Lastly, isn't a k-close on the first real interaction a bit much. What if she's one of those need to wait for at least the 2nd or 3rd date?

ok so you guys jumped the gun a bit. It's funny cuz I was already planning out what you guys were saying.

Anyways, things didn't go as planned - as I mentioned earlier might happen. She didn't say anything about me taking the quiz or anything. I didn't know if I should say something, but that would come of needy if I did.

I know I said I'd drop it, but it sucks that I have to work in a group with her for the next several weeks. So, should I forget it and just act like whatever or is there a workaround? If there is what is it and if not what should I do if something like this comes up again?

Turn that coffee into her buying you a drink on a weekday evening. Suggest somewhere that serves drinks but also food, e.g. a tapas bar or gastropub. This makes an easy transition from getting a drink to getting dinner in very casual way. Bounce to a higher energy venue like a bar with live music for example. Make sure to kino escalate properly using push pull. You want to k-close either at the second venue or at the third. The third venue should be a more relaxed lounge type place that's near where you live, where you can chill on a couch and chat. Finally go back to your place for a minute to give her that CD but then she's gotta go cuz you have to be up early Wink

ugh i just need to slap the shit outta myself over feeling this way over some dumb bitch - lol.

Author:	donniejuan [ Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:59 am ]
Post subject:	possible coffee date - is she for real?
Ok. Kinda new to this whole PUA thing, and been lurkin here for a while, but let me try to make this short and sweet. So I'm at a university and I have this perhaps not so unique problem with a HB8/HB9. Anyways,we're in the same group project and I've built up a good repertoire with balancing being funny and serious with being knowledgeable about what we're doing. Situation: She missed class and I took a quiz for her. Previously, online we were joking about me actually doing this. I pulled the "what's in it for me line" not expecting much and she offered coffee. Right now, I think things are going good but did I just DLV by taking the quiz for her? We haven't gotten the quizzes back yet and I haven't seen her since then (last class for the previous week) At the time, when i was talking to her, I thought asking what's in it for me was to get her to jump through hoops. But, now it seems like I was the one jumping through the hoop. Also, she really has no obligation to follow through, after all, she could "forget," that is unless she believes in the whole returning the favor thing. Due to the time constraints(the quiz was the next day), I'm not sure how else to play this. Normally, I'd try to get her to do something first before I acted... It's hard to read her, she's a very happy person and seems good at heart which may mean she'll actually treat me to coffee (but often times these girls are the worst offenders of dragging you through the mud without actually telling you off b/c of their "niceness"). Personally, I think i'll play it cool as if doing that thing wasn't a big deal so: 1. if she brings it up, i'll playfully "remember" that she owed me something 2. if she doesn't bring it up to me - the fact that the quizzes being handed back will "make me remember" I did something for her(not exactly the scenario i want). Even here, I don't think I should bring it up at all, really. What's the right play here? Anything constructive would be helpful. P.S. i'm not sure I even did that well on the quiz lol.

Author:	Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Mon Oct 25, 2010 10:03 am ]
Post subject:
You're probably in the friend zone. Asking you to take the quiz is her testing to see how much she can manipulate you and get out of you. She's not being a bitch, this is what all women do. They create a cloud of hangers on who they can get to do things in the vain hope that she might sleep with them. But of course she never will, because she is not attracted to men who she can walk all over. Do not be one of these guys. Turn that coffee into her buying you a drink on a weekday evening. Suggest somewhere that serves drinks but also food, e.g. a tapas bar or gastropub. This makes an easy transition from getting a drink to getting dinner in very casual way. Bounce to a higher energy venue like a bar with live music for example. Make sure to kino escalate properly using push pull. You want to k-close either at the second venue or at the third. The third venue should be a more relaxed lounge type place that's near where you live, where you can chill on a couch and chat. Finally go back to your place for a minute to give her that CD but then she's gotta go cuz you have to be up early

Author:	donniejuan [ Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:43 pm ]
Post subject:
really good advice blond. what you're asking is like another world to me - so much for taking things slow, ha. I guess that's how the friendzone happens. Funny thing is I've never actually gotten myself into the FZ unless i genuinely just want to be friends ie no interest. Also, the coffee thing wasn't ever a sure thing so, i might be done before i'm out the gate, if you catch my drift. Not sure if i should just forget it if she doesn't bring it up. Lastly, isn't a k-close on the first real interaction a bit much. What if she's one of those need to wait for at least the 2nd or 3rd date? Does that mean i'm not doing it right(which'll probably be the case lol). Thanks for the wake up call, also any more comments appreciated - will update later .

Author:	kasabi [ Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:57 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: really good advice blond. If you think so, then SHUT the fuck UP and just follow through. . . not just with this girl but with all the potential hook-ups. You're living in la-la land filled with imaginary thoughts/friends. This will be very difficult for you to do but you need to stop trying to make a sense of things. Stop using your logic. Stop creating fantasy scenarios in your head. Admit to yourself that you are at or below level -2 in pick-up. In order for you to get ANYWHERE, you'll need to suck it up and try things that are "like an another World to you". Right now, it's as if you're trying to make a sense out calculus but you know jack shit about algebra. This is impossible. So instead of trying to make a sense of it, simply go through the drills and practice. (You'll get it later on . . . )

Author:	Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Lastly, isn't a k-close on the first real interaction a bit much. What if she's one of those need to wait for at least the 2nd or 3rd date? If you make a k-close a big deal, it will be a big deal for her. If you make it a natural release of the sexual tension you have built up through kino escalating using push-pull, it will be the most natural thing in the world. Same goes for sex.

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Author:	donniejuan [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 3:07 am ]
Post subject:
ok so you guys jumped the gun a bit. It's funny cuz I was already planning out what you guys were saying. Anyways, things didn't go as planned - as I mentioned earlier might happen. She didn't say anything about me taking the quiz or anything. I didn't know if I should say something, but that would come of needy if I did. I know I said I'd drop it, but it sucks that I have to work in a group with her for the next several weeks. So, should I forget it and just act like whatever or is there a workaround? If there is what is it and if not what should I do if something like this comes up again?

Author:	Infinityy [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 3:17 am ]
Post subject:
Turn her down bro. To put it bluntly, she used you. If anything you should give her the cold shoulder, make her feel like she did something wrong, and if she is truly interested in you she will strive for your attention. and try to get you to be nice to her again. Personally if it was me, i would bring it up. I would flat out ask her when she planned on taking me to coffee.

Author:	donniejuan [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 3:43 am ]
Post subject:
you in seattle too Infinityy? small world, that's where im at. conflicting advice but I understand both ways. I mean she could have legitimately forgot, but how the hell does she remember taking it -we gottem back today. I do want to bring it up in a roundabout way that she owes me... but.. Fuck there I go again analyzing.. That cold shoulder thing is gonna be tricky to work since my interactions with her are usually going to be in a group setting lol. It does look like the right choice and it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to be around her several times a week.

Author:	Infinityy [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 4:19 am ]
Post subject:
yeah man, im actually living in kirkland right now. The cold shoulder thing could possibly work, like without being a dick if you know where im coming from. Like when she puts out an idea or something for a project dont even say anything. and just keep repeating. Also if your going to bring up the coffee your going to have to do it soon. like tomorrow or the day after. Other wise your window will have expired and you will appear as desperate. Have you guys had a history before this?

Author:	donniejuan [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:40 am ]
Post subject:
I had this really weird opportunity, that just came up out of the blue to contact her. I brought it up and she acknowledged I took it and I was expecting her to say something more - I even said yeah you owe me one which she almost side-stepped completely. My jaw hit the ground, lol. Wow. Damn. Now I just gotta find ways to avoid her. This is one lesson thats gonna bite me in the ass for a while. Gotta admit though I wanna call her out on her shit but it seems like she's probably heard it all according to Mystery. But, man it'd feel so good...

Author:	mrcoffee999888 [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:50 am ]
Post subject:
She's not worth calling her out. If there's ONE think PUA's have to be good at, it's making things NOT awkward by means of social charm and calibration. I've slept with girls in a class, then broken it off and still had to see them every week day and interact with them, stay alpha and cutesy with them, and just a hint of flirting but almost act like YOU are out of THEIR league. you are unobtainable, but you are friendly and flirty enough to make her still want you. I've also had it happen where I've been played and been rejected and still had to go into class and do the same thing as above. pretend I'm out of her league even though it was me that got rejected.. It happens. Just forget about it. the satisfaction of acting above her is more than telling her off though.

Author:	donniejuan [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 6:10 am ]
Post subject:
hey coffee thanks for the perspective. it just sucks being new to this and not having built that emotional wall up yet. But I feel it's slowly building, i just need to escalate my game, and fast. I know some of you 'real talk' guys are grinding your teeth over what a dumbass I am, but I gotta learn sometime, right? lol. I appreciate each and every comment in this thread. I've read it gets easier. It just sucks balls right at the moment. Seriously thank you for keeping things rational for me, I'm just thinking 'how'd I get played out AGAIN by a 'nice' girl'. Also, I'm more comfortable being 'fake' flirty versus cold. So when you brought up the idea of social awkwardness, i totally know what you mean b/c Ive done that with doucebags I had to live with once - it actually made things waaay worse. ugh i just need to slap the shit outta myself over feeling this way over some dumb bitch - lol. at this point, it's like i might as well work some disqualifiers/other concepts just to practice my game. might as well make something out of sour grapes. only thing that 'adds' to the mix is she kind of seems like she's getting friendly with another guy in the group i'm in, they've been sending, what seems like platonic texts/what not from what he tells me. He has a g/f so that might be part of the why she's getting so 'close'. I was curious at what was goin on and i'm down for a lil friendly competition, but now I almost don't care.

Author:	mrcoffee999888 [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 6:59 am ]
Post subject:
Just remember, "It's not the girl, It's the process.." ~ David DeAngelo Sounds like you're doing a LOT of things WELL. So don't get down, just keep being social and keep gaming.

Author:	Infinityy [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 4:14 pm ]
Post subject:
Don't call her out boss. I know it would feel good, but you have to remember that your better then her. and if your in college theres a shit ton more hot bitches out there to be gamed on. Ive got a buddy out at UW who actually is reading a book on college game. its pretty fuckin nuts. Just keep gaming man.

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Author:	kasabi [ Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:12 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: ok so you guys jumped the gun a bit. It's funny cuz I was already planning out what you guys were saying. No, no . . . you didn't plan on doing ANYTHING blondguy or I suggested. Blondguy suggested you try something that is 'another World to you'. All you did is 'what you already know' and what you know in terms of pick up is ZERO. Quote: Anyways, things didn't go as planned - as I mentioned earlier might happen. She didn't say anything about me taking the quiz or anything. I didn't know if I should say something, but that would come of needy if I did. What would you tell a kid who tells you that 2 + 2 = 5 and thus 2 + 4 must equal 7? What you just wrote above is utter nonsense. This is why I suggested you STOP trying to rationalize pick up situations and simply do as told. You're pretty clever and in many ways, this is working against you. A dummy would have nodded, "Uh huh" and would have stuck to script. You simply continued to live in your World of fantasy thoughts. Ask yourself what your 'pick up logic' has gotten you so far . . . Quote: I know I said I'd drop it, but it sucks that I have to work in a group with her for the next several weeks. So, should I forget it and just act like whatever or is there a workaround? If there is what is it and if not what should I do if something like this comes up again? READ . . . DO . . . Quote: Turn that coffee into her buying you a drink on a weekday evening. Suggest somewhere that serves drinks but also food, e.g. a tapas bar or gastropub. This makes an easy transition from getting a drink to getting dinner in very casual way. Bounce to a higher energy venue like a bar with live music for example. Make sure to kino escalate properly using push pull. You want to k-close either at the second venue or at the third. The third venue should be a more relaxed lounge type place that's near where you live, where you can chill on a couch and chat. Finally go back to your place for a minute to give her that CD but then she's gotta go cuz you have to be up early Wink The suggestion wasn't for you to hang out there and wait for her to invite you out. The suggestion is for YOU to TURN THE COFFEE INTO A DATE: "Hey, how about you make good on the deal and treat me to a beer at _____." - DONE. She says no? Well, this is what would make her the asshole wouldn't it? This is what would make her the 'bad person'. And had you said something like the above as if it was the most natural thing in the World, she would have told you, "No doubt!" Quote: ugh i just need to slap the shit outta myself over feeling this way over some dumb bitch - lol. Are you kidding? She got you to take her quiz, you stood there like some 10 year old waiting for her to hand you some Halloween candy, and when she didn't, came back here to whine and label her names. You have the nerve to call her the 'dumb bitch'? If she's the dumb bitch, what the hell are you? If you can't figure this out . . . if you can't figure out that you really, really need to tell yourself to SHUT THE F UP and get going, you'll find yourself in similar situations until you're middle aged and an aunt feels sorry for your virgin ass and sets you up with her friend's homely daughter. Even then . . . you might F it up. Unless you're ready to accept what you've been doing and what you've been thinking in terms of pick up is absolute ZERO, don't even bother. You didn't get 'played'. How could you? You didn't even begin the pick up process . . .