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Unresponsive Girls
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Author:  mapner [ Sat Oct 09, 2010 3:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Unresponsive Girls

This is something that I'm sure every APUA has encountered at one point or another. You're talking to a girl and it's like getting blood out of a stone. In a word it's 'awkward'.

I'm of split opinions when it comes to this sort of experience. Part of me understands the theory that 'everything that happens to you is your fault'. If I open a set and it's awkward, conversation goes nowhere, then I've probably done something wrong. The idea is obviously to analyze your experiences, go back in next time and tweak your approach.

However, my problem is that I tend to have amazing success, or total wipeouts. If the girl is actually interesting/intelligent/engaged on any kind of level then I naturally do very well most of the time. I've also reached the point of finding it fairly easy to game via my social circle (friends of friends etc...).

My problem is on cold-approaches with your average club girl. Clubs aren't really my scene and I tend to perform very poorly in them. I will use a variety of openers, and whilst I'll be fine with an intelligent (possibly older girl), it's the 18 year old club girls with no attention span that I really struggle with.

It just seems that they have nothing to contribute, and that they are often shallow, uninteresting people. To be honest, this seems entirely possible - just because they're hot doesn't mean they should be engaging company. However, it's just feels like admitting defeat if I blame their lack of social skills for my performance.

I guess my question is - how do you deal with girls that have nothing to contribute? You can open, but they likely won't be receptive. If you get past the opener, you have to continue to do all the talking, and they just won't keep the conversation flowing (or contribute anything at all really). They don't generally understand humor, and you don't have a whole lot in common with them.

I realize that this post is becoming a little lengthy... so this will be my final point. On a couple of occasions I've gotten past this point with girls I believed to fit this mould. Once we got out of the club and moved to a new location they really opened up, and I found out they were really decent, interesting people. I just feel that clubs suck the life out of people, they aren't their real selves. I'm debating just sticking to day game, or exploring different venues.

***Important Note***: The following account is based on experiences in England. America has always provided AWESOME results, and certain more 'rocky' bars and decent establishments in England are fine. What is the issue (I'm sure English people can relate) is the Wetherspoons etc... The really cheap/shitty bars, that unfortunately we all get dragged to. These are the girls that I just don't know how to deal with.

Any help will be much appreciated guys! :)

Author:  devi4nt [ Sat Oct 09, 2010 11:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'm also from England and I get this.

Sometimes Ill be trying to game and I get absolutely no where. I have nothing to say and she has nothing to say to me and it makes me think am I doing something wrong is my game really that bad?

But on another occasion I will hit it right off with a girl. I just put it down to the ones who dont give out much information are just boring and totally uninteresting and do I really want to be talking to them. If I can sense from the offset that their this type Ill just leave it be. Wasted my time so much ha.

Sorry not much help but thought Id share my similarities.

Author:  mapner [ Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:06 am ]
Post subject: 

Cheers Devi4ant,

Tbh it's always good to hear of people in a similar situation. I never like to give up, but I reckon it may well be a good idea to just move onto a new set if you get that vibe early on. It's seriously hard to recover from an opener that doesn't go anywhere.

After my original post got pretty amazing results in a different kind of venue. I'm sure this will go against many beliefs here but I'm considering just giving up with clubs. Whilst I'm mainly out to meet women, I love chatting with loads of people (including guys/groups). I'd rather have an awesome night meeting interesting people (and hopefully some hot girls), than stand around in a club getting nowhere with shallow/guarded girls.

Author:  Underworlder [ Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:43 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
I'm of split opinions when it comes to this sort of experience. Part of me understands the theory that 'everything that happens to you is your fault'. If I open a set and it's awkward, conversation goes nowhere, then I've probably done something wrong. The idea is obviously to analyze your experiences, go back in next time and tweak your approach.
Didn't Neil Strauss often go around spouting the "my fault" thing? I think it's incredible bullshit.

Now. . . consistent unresponsiveness is my fault, if that's the case. One unresponsive girl here or there? Not necessarily my fault at all, so I refuse to take responsibility for it. Sometimes there's nothing to really analyze, or it's impossible to find out exactly where you may have went wrong. If you went wrong at all.

That's why I think it's important to look at the overall response you're getting from the female gender, instead of whatever female you ran into that turned out to be a dud.

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