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I screw up, really need you guys advices
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Author:  oblivion [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 12:57 pm ]
Post subject:  I screw up, really need you guys advices
Hello everyone,

I am a shy guy trying to start a relationship with a girl. Too bad I don't know PUA until I screw up. I let her know that I love her(1 month ago). It's too early and she's now hiding away from me. I thought she's interested when she sent sms/msn msgs to me daily. She asked me wether I want to know her past relationships.

Last month I had a dinner with her, but one of my female friends was lonely, so I bring my female friend to the dinner. It screwed up and she didn't contact me for a week. A week later, I waited her in front of the home and wanted to apologize and say I love her. She's on phone when she came back so I didn't say it. Later I let her know in MSN when she asked.

Her reply was that she didn't know I love her. I haven't seen her for a month and she rejected my invites to have dinner/hang out. If I tried to send msgs to her every few days...she would either said "thank you" or not replied at all(I admit that my msgs were a bit boring). She won't share anything that happened to her like she does before. Is there anything that I can do to remedy the situation(like at least to be friends again)?
Author:  Savlon [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 1:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Is english your second language lol?

anyway my advice is stop stalking her lol! you're smothering her thats why she is pushing you away...
Author:  mike.hunt [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 1:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Is english your second language lol?
I was thinking that too :P

But yeah he's right oblivion, but you didn't exactly fail with this girl you took her out to dinner and she was initially attracted with you. See it as a learning curve and now you know what to do and what not to do in the future. But you need to give this girl some space, don't contact her at all for at the very least 2 weeks, and after that maybe just a friendly text to say hi. If she doesn't respond to that then just forget about her. Who knows, maybe some time in the future you'll bump into her again. But for now just realise that there's plenty more fish in the sea and you're a great guy and you've got lots to offer women so widen your gaze and start thinking about what other women can bring into your life :)
Author:  oblivion [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 2:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes, English is my second language. I haven't use it much since I left Canada and it's getting rusty.

Thanks guys for the tip. Actually I haven't contact her for almost a week. I will wait a little longer before my next attempt. My problem is that I really love her and having a difficult time not to contact her(maybe I am too used to keep in touch with her). I am afraid of losing her(although it seems to be like that now)

If I want to contact her again(I am thinking of email or text), how should I interact with her to get her attarcted/interested? I tried to let her know things that are happening around me(no response), my feelings(tried once and she acknowledged that she had read it), some greetings when she's sick(got "thanks" as reply). And how to determine if I can continue to keep in touch with her? I am pretty lost here.

Sorry to be troublesome, but it's my first time that I want to start a relationship with a girl. There are too many things that I just don't know.
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 2:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
First of all, you can't possibly love someone you've only known for a month. You have to really KNOW someone to do that. Love isn't really really really wanting to have sex with them SO BAD that you're willing to overlook their glaring character faults and physically unattractive qualities. Loving someone is after you've had sex many times, you know everything about them, their past, their family, who they are, what their goals are, who they want to be, who their friends are, etc. and after ALL that you accept them totally for who they are and want to be with them and ONLY them forever. This is VERY RARE.

You have ONEITIS my friend and you need to get out there and realise there are 1,000s of women who are HOTTER, SMARTER, MORE INTERESTING and FIND YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE out there. Drop this chick and go out and really game. If you really find that she's better than all the rest after a month or so, then by all means invite her out again and game her, but for now the best thing to do is NOT see her.
Author:  oblivion [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 3:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sorry for the misunderstanding :oops: . I know her for more than half an year and I hang out with her group every week or 2 weeks before this happens. I am not thinking to have sex with her. Yes, I think I know what love is. I can't seem to find anything bad about her character. She's a Christian and I think she believes no sex before marriage thingie. Even if I am lucky enough to start a relationship with her I really doubt I can have sex with her.

Well, I got fairly depressed for almost a month. Emtionally I just can't seem to let it go.
Author:  mike.hunt [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 3:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
still doesn't make a difference, read blondguy's post and take notes. You just need to get over her, end of. I know this sounds harsh but in about 5 months time you'll look back and think "what the hell was I thinking? why did I get so strung-up on this girl and let it rule my life?"

so, to put it as kindly as possible, get over her, get over yourself, and starting meeting new women :) it's for the best and you know it is.
Author:  NeedsMoreFlow [ Sun Oct 10, 2010 3:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You have ONEITIS my friend and you need to get out there and realise there are 1,000s of women who are HOTTER, SMARTER, MORE INTERESTING and FIND YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE out there.
This should be the golden rule for any man.
Author:  Captain Romance [ Sun Oct 10, 2010 8:08 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
You have ONEITIS my friend and you need to get out there and realise there are 1,000s of women who are HOTTER, SMARTER, MORE INTERESTING and FIND YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE out there.
This should be the golden rule for any man.
amen, brother.


oblivion

my advice is: act like you dont care. i know you love her. but think that every time you force your way in, your losing her. take your time, let yourself get angry about the situation but dont show it, channel it into killing all the self-pity you are feeling at the moment.
Author:  Tundra [ Sun Oct 10, 2010 8:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Oneitis 101 up in here.
Author:  oblivion [ Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
OK, I don't know the term "Oneitis" before, now I know. I go out and have some chats with my friends. I feel better now.
Let me ask you guys a question, under what conditions will you start a relationship? I always think that is if you have a strong feeling towards that girl.

The dreaded "One-Itis," otherwise known as the ailment of liking that "One Special Girl" and wanting her more than any other woman on earth. A want so intense, that it's actually painful.
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Mon Oct 11, 2010 3:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
under what conditions will you start a relationship?
Why do you feel the requirement to label something a "relationship" and be in one in the first place?

My requirement for continuing to see a girl is that we continue to have as good a time as our day 2, 3, 4, etc. I never bring up "relationship" unless she does, and then I tell her that I enjoy hanging out with her and we have a great time but I'm not looking for commitment and if she wants to be non-exclusive then great otherwise she better leave before she get hurt.

If I end up seeing a few girls and one of them really beats the hell out of all the rest and I really want to see her only, then I suppose I'd be willing to drop the others but to be honest that hasn't actually happened yet and I doubt it will.
Author:  oblivion [ Tue Oct 12, 2010 2:19 am ]
Post subject: 
I think since husband and wife is a 1 to 1, so boy friend and girl friend should be 1 to 1 too.
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