PUA Forum :: How to get over self consciousness

Hey guys (y)

Ive decided i cant possibly make a move until i feel good about myself. Basically i doubt myself so much that i dont think any girl will accept me if i make a move, so i never do make a move. (i mean like lean in for a kiss for eg)

Heres the thing, i seem confident and comfortable around people, and can talk to girls and introduce myself with no issues at all. But when i think about making a move, i just think
"She wont do it. She doesnt like me in that way, because she likes me as a friend only. Thats just the kind of guy I am. And shes not thinking about kissing, because girls dont want it as much as guys do anyway"

Deep down i dont think im ugly or anything, but i truly believe that im just not dateable material for some reason. maybe cos of my height, or cos i look young, or because i just dont have a "hot" personality and have more of a "friend" type personality.
I also understand that it can all be in my head, that maybe the only reason im unlucky is beCAUSE i dont make a move, or because of these mental obstacles. Even though that might be the case, and i understand that that might be the case, it doesnt make it any easier lol..

If you can help me out ill greatly appreciate it.

How can i get over all these barriers? Is it normal to feel this shit about myself? lol
Im 18 and have never kissed a girl (had a few good chances, but not with nice ones so i didnt do anything)

Author:	CreativeRobot [ Tue Sep 28, 2010 5:40 am ]
Post subject:	How to get over self consciousness
Hey guys (y) Ive decided i cant possibly make a move until i feel good about myself. Basically i doubt myself so much that i dont think any girl will accept me if i make a move, so i never do make a move. (i mean like lean in for a kiss for eg) Heres the thing, i seem confident and comfortable around people, and can talk to girls and introduce myself with no issues at all. But when i think about making a move, i just think "She wont do it. She doesnt like me in that way, because she likes me as a friend only. Thats just the kind of guy I am. And shes not thinking about kissing, because girls dont want it as much as guys do anyway" Deep down i dont think im ugly or anything, but i truly believe that im just not dateable material for some reason. maybe cos of my height, or cos i look young, or because i just dont have a "hot" personality and have more of a "friend" type personality. I also understand that it can all be in my head, that maybe the only reason im unlucky is beCAUSE i dont make a move, or because of these mental obstacles. Even though that might be the case, and i understand that that might be the case, it doesnt make it any easier lol.. If you can help me out ill greatly appreciate it. How can i get over all these barriers? Is it normal to feel this shit about myself? lol Im 18 and have never kissed a girl (had a few good chances, but not with nice ones so i didnt do anything)

Author:	Shinigaml [ Tue Sep 28, 2010 6:55 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How to get over self consciousness
Quote: Hey guys (y) Ive decided i cant possibly make a move until i feel good about myself. Basically i doubt myself so much that i dont think any girl will accept me if i make a move, so i never do make a move. (i mean like lean in for a kiss for eg) Heres the thing, i seem confident and comfortable around people, and can talk to girls and introduce myself with no issues at all. But when i think about making a move, i just think "She wont do it. She doesnt like me in that way, because she likes me as a friend only. Thats just the kind of guy I am. And shes not thinking about kissing, because girls dont want it as much as guys do anyway" Deep down i dont think im ugly or anything, but i truly believe that im just not dateable material for some reason. maybe cos of my height, or cos i look young, or because i just dont have a "hot" personality and have more of a "friend" type personality. I also understand that it can all be in my head, that maybe the only reason im unlucky is beCAUSE i dont make a move, or because of these mental obstacles. Even though that might be the case, and i understand that that might be the case, it doesnt make it any easier lol.. If you can help me out ill greatly appreciate it. How can i get over all these barriers? Is it normal to feel this shit about myself? lol Im 18 and have never kissed a girl (had a few good chances, but not with nice ones so i didnt do anything) Dude you are a person who thinks way too negatively. I used to be in your EXACT position in the past. You know how I got over it? When I used to think negatively like you did, AT THAT MOMENT, just do it. I got in the habbit of doing it while thinking negatively. Like.. I would be like "oh no she's not gona like this.." AND THEN I say it before I can convince myself of more negative thoughts. Think about it this way. Women think more about sex than you do. There's a good chance that the girl you were with thought about sexual things with YOU one way or another. At the moment you're thinking "should I kiss her? Oh no.. what do i do after? what if she doesn't like me? what if she rejects it... Okay i won't kiss her..", she's probably thinking "oh, is he gona kiss me? just do it already... ur killing the suspense... im nervous..". And then you don't kiss her, you fucked up in every possible way. She'll think your not a man, but a wimp. Just do it man, it comes in your favor in every possible way. Or mentally train yourself to do things your mind tells you otherwise. Like... if your mind tells you to pick your booger, DONT pick it. I know it's a bad example but... just go against your mental thinking. That will slowly train you for harder things like ... kissing a girl.. which really isn't that hard but yeah... There's a reason the 3 second rule was made by Mystery. The more you wait, the worse it gets. It's THE EASIEST when you don't wait. The more wait there is, the harder it gets. And you said you never kissed a girl... How would you know if she will reject/accept it or not? You probably never tried. Stop thinking so negatively. Think about it this way. You are one person out of 6+ billion. If you ever walk the streets of places like Korea, China, or New York, you will see how insignificant you are. Better yet, picture yourself in another persons body, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? You would probably do whatever without any consequences... Act like this, but with your real self. You'll get far better results than what you've got right now. And this is coming from someone who was like you in the past years.

Author:	CreativeRobot [ Thu Sep 30, 2010 2:44 am ]
Post subject:
Dude, thank you so much Ill try this out next time im in the situation..its going to be hard but i will force myself to. Thanks HEAPS man, ill get back to you with results (y)

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