PUA Forum :: LJBF + Boyfriend: Don't want to give up just yet.

How did u figure a girl that you kissed after 5 dates thinks you are a player?

Quote:

How did u figure a girl that you kissed after 5 dates thinks you are a player?

Well kissing a girl is more of an attraction builder, and I had been focusing almost exclusively on that with no real deep rapport. On one hand she got buyers remorse said its not ok to kiss her almost a week after the fact, so I didn't build enough comfort, but on the other hand she LJBF'ed me, so she isn't attracted enough. So I'm not sure which one I should focus on if I continue the approach.

I hate to rain on your parade but you're using lots of jargon and you understand NOTHING about what's actually going on.

Kissing on the head is NOT a k-close. She does NOT have buyers remorse and does NOT think you're a player. You just got LJBFed for being a PUSSY and you need to kino escalate far more quickly towards sex next time.

Freeze her out for a few days and jesus christ take her somewhere NEW and INTERESTING next time.

Stop theorising so much and get out there and practice escalating as quickly as possible. If you don't get it the first time you meet, k-close properly at least by the middle of your day2, and f-close if not later that night than definitely by the 3rd time you see her. [Also it's not called a day2 if it's the FIFTH time you've seen her is it?]

Quote:

Thanks for the pointers. How can I escalate to a proper Kclose if she isn't even ok with me kissing her on the head?

When you say freeze her out for a few days, I text her only once a week. Do you mean delay when I would normally text her for a few days, or text her in a few days even though it fits my normal pattern?

There is a chance I could run into her tmrw as we are both regulars at this dance place. If and when I do run into her, I am thinking of freezing her out and balatently going for her friends and other women in front of her. What else can I do to spark some jealousy/competition in her? Is this the right way to be going about it?

Author:	freedomfalcon [ Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:52 am ]
Post subject:	LJBF + Boyfriend: Don't want to give up just yet.
I have been gaming this girl for over 2 months. I have had four "Day2's" with her, all at the place we first met at. The last "Day2" I had with her, she initiates contact with me while I am approach priming another girl by punching me in the shoulder. Later that night I kclosed her on her head when I said hello and as I was leaving. Almost a week later I am texting her and she says that it wasn't ok. I respond by calling her saying that I understand and that we will slow things down. I then distract her by mentioning a side project she was doing. Works like a charm. Then this morning she texts me saying she was glad I called, but that she had to clarify that she was in a relationship and wasn't interested in being more then friends and didn't think taking it slow would work. I replied back with "Well that makes two of us."(in a relationship), didn't want to seem needy. She said "I'm glad you understand". I am already looking for and pursuing other women, but I would like to at least try to see if I could salvage this one, if for no other reason then the fact that I have spent so much time and progressed in my game by leaps and bounds with this girl. Questions: Should I freeze this girl out due to being LJBF'ed or build comfort to compensate for acting like a player with the kclose? Are Boyfriend Destroyers still necessary/benficial if I use Stealth Attraction? I would like to continue my approach as if nothing happened, and to use stealth seduction/arousal (if IOI's are there). to re-escalate the kino to at least where it was before the Kclose, and then slowly work up from there, making her do the final 10% for the Kclose. Is this a viable plan?

Author:	twisted66 [ Wed Sep 15, 2010 1:47 am ]
Post subject:
How did u figure a girl that you kissed after 5 dates thinks you are a player?

Author:	freedomfalcon [ Wed Sep 15, 2010 4:59 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: How did u figure a girl that you kissed after 5 dates thinks you are a player? Well kissing a girl is more of an attraction builder, and I had been focusing almost exclusively on that with no real deep rapport. On one hand she got buyers remorse said its not ok to kiss her almost a week after the fact, so I didn't build enough comfort, but on the other hand she LJBF'ed me, so she isn't attracted enough. So I'm not sure which one I should focus on if I continue the approach.

Author:	Trotyl [ Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:49 am ]
Post subject:
Since when is a kiss on the head a k-close? If she honoustly thinks that is a big deal then she obviously isn't even friend worthy. I got female friends with boyfriends aswell and hell they don't care if I grab their ass or whatever (in a fun way ofc). It's nothing intimate and we're just friends. You should build up the sexual tension when you're together. There's lots of ways to do so, just look em up. If you're going to act all niceguy about this you'll lose her for sure, if you really want her you have to take a risk and just try. Bottom line is friendship because she won't just ditch you as a friend for hitting on her.

Author:	Switchmaster [ Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:14 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: How did u figure a girl that you kissed after 5 dates thinks you are a player? Well kissing a girl is more of an attraction builder, and I had been focusing almost exclusively on that with no real deep rapport. On one hand she got buyers remorse said its not ok to kiss her almost a week after the fact, so I didn't build enough comfort, but on the other hand she LJBF'ed me, so she isn't attracted enough. So I'm not sure which one I should focus on if I continue the approach. [img] lol wut? [/img]

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Author:	twisted66 [ Wed Sep 15, 2010 1:46 pm ]
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Yeah ur situation is really confusing... And I'm not claming to be no expert since I only had my first serious date recently, but I expected a kiss on the first night, went for it and we ended up making out for about 3mins. My point is I don't think ur problem is that she thinks ur a player...

Author:	freedomfalcon [ Wed Sep 15, 2010 3:20 pm ]
Post subject:
I am definatly going to up the sexual tension as much as possible next time I see her, and if she tries to call me on it I'll just say I'm being friendly I'm going to use multi-level comm and talk about other women, maybe be seen with other women to get her jealous. Thing is I won't see her for another 2 weeks. Should I keep the level of rapport that I have (I txt her once a week), increase it to outmatch her "relationship", or freeze her out untill right before I see her next? Also, when I do see her, should I look like I am going to approach and then freeze her out untill the next time I see her, or continue the approach and just up the sexual tension as much as possible?

Author:	Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Wed Sep 15, 2010 4:16 pm ]
Post subject:
I hate to rain on your parade but you're using lots of jargon and you understand NOTHING about what's actually going on. Kissing on the head is NOT a k-close. She does NOT have buyers remorse and does NOT think you're a player. You just got LJBFed for being a PUSSY and you need to kino escalate far more quickly towards sex next time. Freeze her out for a few days and jesus christ take her somewhere NEW and INTERESTING next time. Stop theorising so much and get out there and practice escalating as quickly as possible. If you don't get it the first time you meet, k-close properly at least by the middle of your day2, and f-close if not later that night than definitely by the 3rd time you see her. [Also it's not called a day2 if it's the FIFTH time you've seen her is it?]

Author:	freedomfalcon [ Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:14 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I hate to rain on your parade but you're using lots of jargon and you understand NOTHING about what's actually going on. Kissing on the head is NOT a k-close. She does NOT have buyers remorse and does NOT think you're a player. You just got LJBFed for being a PUSSY and you need to kino escalate far more quickly towards sex next time. Freeze her out for a few days and jesus christ take her somewhere NEW and INTERESTING next time. Stop theorising so much and get out there and practice escalating as quickly as possible. If you don't get it the first time you meet, k-close properly at least by the middle of your day2, and f-close if not later that night than definitely by the 3rd time you see her. [Also it's not called a day2 if it's the FIFTH time you've seen her is it?] Thanks for the pointers. How can I escalate to a proper Kclose if she isn't even ok with me kissing her on the head? When you say freeze her out for a few days, I text her only once a week. Do you mean delay when I would normally text her for a few days, or text her in a few days even though it fits my normal pattern?

Author:	arjline06 [ Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:06 am ]
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I know guys, that some people are only doing their relationship just for fun. But every mistake we made had a lesson. Do you believe in karma? Love is not a game and I hope those people will realize that.

Author:	freedomfalcon [ Thu Sep 16, 2010 6:55 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: I hate to rain on your parade but you're using lots of jargon and you understand NOTHING about what's actually going on. Kissing on the head is NOT a k-close. She does NOT have buyers remorse and does NOT think you're a player. You just got LJBFed for being a PUSSY and you need to kino escalate far more quickly towards sex next time. Freeze her out for a few days and jesus christ take her somewhere NEW and INTERESTING next time. Stop theorising so much and get out there and practice escalating as quickly as possible. If you don't get it the first time you meet, k-close properly at least by the middle of your day2, and f-close if not later that night than definitely by the 3rd time you see her. [Also it's not called a day2 if it's the FIFTH time you've seen her is it?] Thanks for the pointers. How can I escalate to a proper Kclose if she isn't even ok with me kissing her on the head? When you say freeze her out for a few days, I text her only once a week. Do you mean delay when I would normally text her for a few days, or text her in a few days even though it fits my normal pattern?

Author:	Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Thu Sep 16, 2010 10:57 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: I hate to rain on your parade but you're using lots of jargon and you understand NOTHING about what's actually going on. Kissing on the head is NOT a k-close. She does NOT have buyers remorse and does NOT think you're a player. You just got LJBFed for being a PUSSY and you need to kino escalate far more quickly towards sex next time. Freeze her out for a few days and jesus christ take her somewhere NEW and INTERESTING next time. Stop theorising so much and get out there and practice escalating as quickly as possible. If you don't get it the first time you meet, k-close properly at least by the middle of your day2, and f-close if not later that night than definitely by the 3rd time you see her. [Also it's not called a day2 if it's the FIFTH time you've seen her is it?] Thanks for the pointers. How can I escalate to a proper Kclose if she isn't even ok with me kissing her on the head? When you say freeze her out for a few days, I text her only once a week. Do you mean delay when I would normally text her for a few days, or text her in a few days even though it fits my normal pattern? To escalate to a k-close, you just work your way up the kino ladder. Start with shoulder and arm, behind the elbow, the small of the back, waist, legs, etc. By the time she is comfortable sitting next to you, with the whole of your sides and legs touching each other and your arm around her waist or back, you can slow down the tempo of conversation, wait for a pause, look into her eyes, and move in for a kiss. The 90/10 rule from Hitch is actually not a bad technique (you go 90% in but allow her to go the extra 0.1cm to actually touch your lips). Always remember to be the first to break contact. This means you leave her always wanting you to re-engage. (2 steps forward, one step back / push-pull) If she breaks first or does something like moves your hand from her leg onto her waist (i.e. you progressed too quickly) break contact completely but do not act hurt or annoyed, just keep on talking about something else. Excellent things to do are, for example, holding her hand while walking her around the club, then kinda throwing her hand away a little while saying "oh THERE's where my friend went! You gotta meet him!" She will want you to grab her again, and may even re-initiate kino herself. Now she is fighting for your attention, and her reward for getting your attention is that you touch her. Kino as a reward is a beautiful thing because it frames the whole interaction in terms of "Hey HB, if you're good, you get to be touched by me" instead of the AFC mindset "if I don't screw up, hopefully you'll allow me to touch you." You sound like a very rigid person who gets too analytical about things. Why do you have some set pattern about when you text her? If she can predict when you're gonna text then she's gonna get BORED by you. Don't text for a week and then out of the blue send a value giving message that has nothing to do with meeting up, just throwing a random story out there that happened to you or something. When she gets back to you, invite her to something fun that you and maybe your friends are already going to, the more unique and cool sounding the invite is, the more likely she will be curious and come. Then just have fun, escalate properly, and fuckin close this chick before we all lose the will to live.

Author:	The Designer [ Thu Sep 16, 2010 6:11 pm ]
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I would personally just move on. The only possible reason I, personally, would keep this up was if you just wanted to prove to yourself that you could steal a girl (not a very noble cause, but definitely self-validating). Otherwise, a kiss on the head? WTF? I did that to my ex wife and girls I loved/was in a relationship with.

Author:	freedomfalcon [ Sat Sep 18, 2010 9:30 pm ]
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There is a chance I could run into her tmrw as we are both regulars at this dance place. If and when I do run into her, I am thinking of freezing her out and balatently going for her friends and other women in front of her. What else can I do to spark some jealousy/competition in her? Is this the right way to be going about it?

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Author:	jellysandwich5 [ Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:54 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: There is a chance I could run into her tmrw as we are both regulars at this dance place. If and when I do run into her, I am thinking of freezing her out and balatently going for her friends and other women in front of her. What else can I do to spark some jealousy/competition in her? Is this the right way to be going about it? Doesn't work that way. If you make it obvious, she'll think you're an asshole. If you really want to make her jealous, you have to do it subtly.