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Getting her to fall for me / feel the spark?!? Is possible?
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Author:  Vortex525 [ Wed Aug 11, 2010 7:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Getting her to fall for me / feel the spark?!? Is possible?
I need some advice. Can you make someone fall for you? I'm assuming this is impossible. Basically I met a girl on a dating site and have met up a few times but she basically told me the other day that she does not feel the spark between us!

Myself I'm very keen on her and would like to know if it's possible to ignite a spark. Any advice anyone can give me would be very much appreciated.

Thanks.
Author:  Vuvuzela [ Wed Aug 11, 2010 7:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dude, let me give you one important piece of advice. First Impressions are everything, if you haven't already hit it off during your first encounters, it's almost impossible to really win her over. Too much effort.

I had a one-itis once for the this really hot girl, and as months went by, me taking the subway with her and not engaging or anything, it became harder and harder. It ended up by me trying at long last and getting rejected because of course in her mind she was like 'that's weird after months of having the opportunity to talk he starts now? wow he must be shy/loser...'

So I advise you to move on to your next girl and then try to use the stuff you've learnt right away and get that spark.
Author:  JOHNNYBOY29 [ Wed Aug 11, 2010 8:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
I am of the opinion that no matter what yOU HAVE GOT TO GIVE EVERYTHING YOUR BEST SHOT.

Yeah first impressions are important and so is every subsequent impression but ultimately its down to you to make those impressions.

Sometimes by giving it your best shot you get what you want and sometimes you dont but there is one thing that will always play on your mind if you dont give anything - guessing... yeah thats right. It is always better to KNOW that nothing came out of it than spending your life GUESSING whether something could have come out of it.

I thik there is always a way a girl can change her mind but its not like clicking your fingers. You just have to change how you are towards her a bit. if she thinks you are a loser she can change her mind but only by your actions towards her.
Author:  Vortex525 [ Wed Aug 11, 2010 9:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
I did ask her if she ever felt the spark and she said this:
Quote:
Initially yes but i now realise it was more of a good friendship spark.not a boyfriend spark.i know you wouldnt push me into anything.your too nice for that  x
Author:  Straight Up [ Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I did ask her if she ever felt the spark and she said this:
Quote:
Initially yes but i now realise it was more of a good friendship spark.not a boyfriend spark.i know you wouldnt push me into anything.your too nice for that  x
Experience is everything...

she even told you, your being a 'nice guy' go get a few more girls and show her your not a 'nice guy' forget about her for now, she was a starter and if you decide to you can always go back to her if you still want her as a side order to your new dinner :)

Good luck
Author:  Vortex525 [ Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:59 am ]
Post subject: 
So it's not good to be the nice guy? So how should you play it?
Author:  Straight Up [ Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
So it's not good to be the nice guy? So how should you play it?
No the 'nice guy' is the Best Friend type of person, not a relationship guy to most women...

You have to up your game, be Cocky, funny, tease and also serious and mature with CONFIDENCE!!

Have you never noticed that all the pricks always get the hot girls?? why?!?! because they have the confidence to say what they want to a girl, to an extent!!
Author:  Vortex525 [ Thu Aug 12, 2010 2:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
But I am confident and I'm not shy in speaking what I think at all. That is what I don't understand as I apparently from what I've been told come across very confident. Perhaps I should have teased a bit more? There is a fine line between the good guy and the bad guy I have found. So is there any way to get the spark back? How should I play it now? Or is this most likely a dead end wiv this one?
Author:  Straight Up [ Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
It may or may not, cut down the talk but not completely, and work PUA and let jelousy either bring her to you or just go into the friends zone if that doesnt work and you want to stay friends[/code]
Author:  Nyseto [ Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Let me clarify what a nice guy is.

A nice guy is a boring guy.
A nice guy is predictable.
A nice guy lacks confidence.
A nice guy is afraid to be rude.
A nice guy focuses on money and gifts for manipulation.
A nice guy sets all of his attention on one girl.
A nice guy gets emotional easily.
A nice guy does not tease.
A nice guy is not playful.
A nice guy is formal.
A nice guy usually lacks correct posture.
Author:  Z-Wrex [ Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
You are in the friend zone, and she's trying to make you feel guilty by adding "your too nice for that." A lot of guys have different definitions of the "nice guy" who has no luck with women. Mine is that the nice guy is a woman's bitch. He does whatever she asks. My recommendation is that you be honest, tell her you wanted to date and really don't feel like being her good friend, at least while you feel more. Just move on, date other girls, go out, and live life.

You can't make someone fall in love with you. You can build attraction and comfort, but any way to overcome her lack of either is a waste of time when you can just find another girl with a fraction of that effort.
Author:  Chelios [ Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
She wont feel no spark now man, unfortunately her mind is made up, and your friend zones pretty hard, look to the future, and chat to her a lil less, could get her thinking a lil but don't bank on it.

Look to the future, and avoid the same things that you did, we all make mistakes, the future's bright!
Author:  Vortex525 [ Fri Aug 13, 2010 10:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Let me clarify what a nice guy is
A nice guy is a boring guy.
A nice guy is predictable.
A nice guy lacks confidence.
A nice guy is afraid to be rude.
A nice guy focuses on money and gifts for manipulation.
A nice guy sets all of his attention on one girl.
A nice guy gets emotional easily.
A nice guy does not tease.
A nice guy is not playful.
A nice guy is formal.
A nice guy usually lacks correct posture.
Ok can someone go into more info about the above. Eg is not afraid to be rude? In what way?
Author:  Chelios [ Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Let me clarify what a nice guy is
A nice guy is a boring guy.
A nice guy is predictable.
A nice guy lacks confidence.
A nice guy is afraid to be rude.
A nice guy focuses on money and gifts for manipulation.
A nice guy sets all of his attention on one girl.
A nice guy gets emotional easily.
A nice guy does not tease.
A nice guy is not playful.
A nice guy is formal.
A nice guy usually lacks correct posture.
Ok can someone go into more info about the above. Eg is not afraid to be rude? In what way?
In other words, not afraid to point things out, maybe things he doesn't like, things that bother him, things that aren'ther strong points, or anything that may annoy him about her, showing her your not to nice and you keep your mouth shut, but there'sa limit.
Author:  MickCoffee [ Fri Aug 13, 2010 1:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wtf is all this about that he can't reunite the spark? Of course he can you idiots! I heard a story that Kezia was training this guy who was friends with this girl for 7 years and after all of that he managed to pick her up with her advice! It IS possible!

First off, I'm going to be totally honest with you. There's a chance you might not re-spark what she once felt so be honest with yourself and prepare for that situation.

First, a nice guy is not the image you want to have in her eyes quite frankly because the nice guy is boring and forgetable. The nice guy agrees to everything the woman says, he does not challenge her, doesn't poke fun at her and runs through every hoop she gives. There's your reasons.

As I said, you may or may not get her in the end but if this was me in that situation here is what I would do.

If you're getting the "friendship" spark then it's obvious that she feels too comfortable around you. You have to break rapport to add that sexual vibe to the interaction, this is a process that has to be done SLOWLY to change her perception of you being the nice guy.

Lightly throw some sexual suggestions that she can contribute to and if she says something you don't agree with then for the love of me typing this large post tell her you don't agree. This shows that you have the one thing woman want (and this was clarified by Kezia - the top female PU tutor) - Inner Strength. Women love talking about sex.

If you can gradually build that over time (and by time I mean over the course of 1-2 months, not one interaction) then chances are she'll see you in a different way than that nice guy. Also, if she feels comfortable speaking sexually to you then you can further gradually build it to speaking about what you done with a girl the night before.

If you do all of that I guarantee her perception has changed about you, you'd went from the nice guy to - the great guy with inner strength.

You can do this which is fine or you can't and that's fine too. I wish you luck either way.

AFCCoffee :twisted:
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