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Warning, newbie question: Can someone explain the neg to me
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Author:  here2play [ Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Warning, newbie question: Can someone explain the neg to me
Hi, I have been doing some crash-course research the last few days and trying to learn the lingo and the strategies etc but I have a totally newb question that I need some clarification on.

Can someone please explain the NEG thing to me?

I am fairly comfortable making cold approaches and flirting and seduction etc but the neg thing is a brand new concept for me. I am a bit older than the average guy here and I grew up in an era where you didn't say anything negative about anyone and the last thing you did was say anything bad about a hot chick. And yes I am trying to be a recovering "nice guy" and nice guys just don't neg chicks.

I'm willing to learn and to try it but I just need to understand what it is, what it accomplishes and at what time in the whole scheme of things do you do it?

HELP!
Author:  rystar [ Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, basically you shouldn't worry about it.

It's a negative compliment. I used to be this nice guy (I still am to a certain extent, it takes a while to shake off).

But use it a few times and you will get used to it.

Like 'your nails look nice, are they real?'

basically you're complimenting her, but in a negative way. So they probably aren't real, and it will lower her DHV.

(This is through reading the Mystery Method).
Author:  here2play [ Sat Aug 07, 2010 11:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Well, basically you shouldn't worry about it.

It's a negative compliment. I used to be this nice guy (I still am to a certain extent, it takes a while to shake off).

But use it a few times and you will get used to it.

Like 'your nails look nice, are they real?'

basically you're complimenting her, but in a negative way. So they probably aren't real, and it will lower her DHV.

(This is through reading the Mystery Method).
OK, and lowering her DHV will benifit me how?

At what point in the approach and engagement do I introduce this?

(I have some books and videos on the way so I won't be so clueless soon, but I am going out tonight and some quick pointers will be helpfull)
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Sun Aug 08, 2010 3:31 am ]
Post subject: 
To the post above, try not to use terminology if you're not totally confident about its meaning.

[A DHV is a Display of Higher Value i.e. telling a DHV story]

THE NEG

A NEG is a backhanded compliment that, when well executed performs multiple functions

1. To frame the interaction as though you are saying it from a position of higher value (and/or to lower her perceived value)
2. To make her question herself
3. To give her a compliment
4. To falsely disqualify yourself.

For example "oh that dress is cool - it's like something my little sister would love"

Why is this a good neg?

The mention of the little sister is useful. A great strategy, especially with a 9/10 is to treat her exactly like your little sister, or one of her friends. You don't get upset or hurt when your sister calls you names or makes fun of you, you just brush it off. Why? Because you're so much higher value than her that it doesn't matter. Similarly, when you say "hey sis nice drawing," you're saying that from a higher position, not because you want anything out of her.

When you say her clothes are nice like this, you're giving her a seeming compliment, so she initially thinks of this in a positive light. However, you're actually saying that her sense of fashion is like something a 14 year old might like, which then makes her question herself. She is then thinking "oh my god so he doesn't like my fashion? Well no guy that found me attractive would say that, I guess he's not into me. WHY ISN'T HE INTO ME I HAVE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HIM WHAT ARE HIS STANDARDS HOW CAN HE HAVE SUCH HIGH STANDARDS WHO IS THIS GUY"

BOOM. Attraction.

In general, you only need one neg, if that, for a 7. Two for an 8, and Three for a 9/10. They should come as early as possible after you've opened and transitioned, according to mystery. They should come as soon as you've established rapport (having a normal conversation) according to Adam Lyons. That's basically the same, about 2-3 minutes into your interaction.

As soon as you have negged and you feel you've generated attraction (she's interested in you, showing IOIs, asking questions about you, etc.) MOVE ON to qualification / comfort and don't neg any more. It's unnecessary and often counterproductive to neg (i.e. keep trying to build attraction) once you've already achieved attraction.

Hope this helps :-)
Author:  here2play [ Sun Aug 08, 2010 1:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
To the post above, try not to use terminology if you're not totally confident about its meaning.

[A DHV is a Display of Higher Value i.e. telling a DHV story]

THE NEG

A NEG is a backhanded compliment that, when well executed performs multiple functions

1. To frame the interaction as though you are saying it from a position of higher value (and/or to lower her perceived value)
2. To make her question herself
3. To give her a compliment
4. To falsely disqualify yourself.

For example "oh that dress is cool - it's like something my little sister would love"

Why is this a good neg?

The mention of the little sister is useful. A great strategy, especially with a 9/10 is to treat her exactly like your little sister, or one of her friends. You don't get upset or hurt when your sister calls you names or makes fun of you, you just brush it off. Why? Because you're so much higher value than her that it doesn't matter. Similarly, when you say "hey sis nice drawing," you're saying that from a higher position, not because you want anything out of her.

When you say her clothes are nice like this, you're giving her a seeming compliment, so she initially thinks of this in a positive light. However, you're actually saying that her sense of fashion is like something a 14 year old might like, which then makes her question herself. She is then thinking "oh my god so he doesn't like my fashion? Well no guy that found me attractive would say that, I guess he's not into me. WHY ISN'T HE INTO ME I HAVE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HIM WHAT ARE HIS STANDARDS HOW CAN HE HAVE SUCH HIGH STANDARDS WHO IS THIS GUY"

BOOM. Attraction.

In general, you only need one neg, if that, for a 7. Two for an 8, and Three for a 9/10. They should come as early as possible after you've opened and transitioned, according to mystery. They should come as soon as you've established rapport (having a normal conversation) according to Adam Lyons. That's basically the same, about 2-3 minutes into your interaction.

As soon as you have negged and you feel you've generated attraction (she's interested in you, showing IOIs, asking questions about you, etc.) MOVE ON to qualification / comfort and don't neg any more. It's unnecessary and often counterproductive to neg (i.e. keep trying to build attraction) once you've already achieved attraction.

Hope this helps :-)
Yes that does help, thank you!

It's funny you mentioned the dress/sister thing. Last night we were going out and I made up my mind I was going to try a neg for the first time ..EVER. I had a perfect opportunity when we ran into a cute little gal wearing a flower in her hair. I made mention of liking her flower and then added, "our 8 year old has one just like it but yours really looks good on you."

The problem is I felt so bad afterwards. That comment was so out of character for me my wife just about blew her drink out of her nose at the table when I said it. I did compliment this HB several times on some other things over a period of time but I felt so bad for making what felt like a cheap shot. I can tell it's going to take some time and effort to get past my nice guy conditioning.

Oh well I guess I have to start somewhere.
Author:  MajorTom [ Sun Aug 08, 2010 2:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I felt so bad for making what felt like a cheap shot. I can tell it's going to take some time and effort to get past my nice guy conditioning. Oh well I guess I have to start somewhere.
lol Yeah, I agree. I'm intimidated by the idea of NEG'ing. Blondguy's explanation of the NEG is very helpful though and I think I understand it better. It seems like it will be difficult in the beginning to strike the right balance between effective and insulting.
Author:  Space Ace [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
The detailed definition from blondguy is excellent. One simple way of thinking about the neg is that it lowers her defenses, that's why you neg the hottest girls multiple times, and the average ones rarely. The HB10 thinks she is out of your league.. 3 negs later and she's wondering why you are so confident around her when most AFC's aren't. You are now in her league.
Author:  Jelly [ Tue Aug 10, 2010 12:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
That comment was so out of character for me my wife just about blew her drink out of her nose at the table when I said it
umm what, why are you out gaming/trying to game women when you have a wife
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